Summer, holiday time, closed schools and – for many parents – of exhausting tours de force at high risk of stress.
Like every year, in fact, the nightmare of the 13 weeks of school closure is reappeared that forces many families to juggle Among registrations to summer centers, requests for help from grandparents, work commitments to be framed and a lot, a lot patience To be put in place in order to arrive, possibly unscathed, to the aforementioned departure for the summer holidays.
A scenario, this, which often ends up putting a strain on the mental hold of mothers and dads. “During the summer there would be more time to share games, passions and quality moments with children but often the reality is very different”, he explains Mara Compagnoni, psychologist and psychotherapist active also on Doctolib.itfree app that helps citizens in managing their health. «With i parents at work and a few days of holidays availableyou risk Live holidays with frustration, stress and guilt. And not only for mothers: today often dads are often involved in the carousel of summer care ».
All on vacation, except the sense of guilt
The concern of do not fill the days of the children with stimulating activities or to have to leave them to grandparents, summer centers or babysitters, in fact brings many parents to feel guilty.
“The sense of parental fault It has deep, biological and cultural roots. It is the reflection of our motivational care system, which is activated When we perceive our children in difficulty and we cannot satisfy their need for care », The psychologist explains. The solution? It is not necessarily to vote on multitasking. “They are enough few moments of quality, lived with authenticity », Reassures Dr. Compagnoni. «To make cooperative activities together, such as sports or team games, helps children develop autonomy And We adults feel less inadequate and under pressure. And yes, even a little less guilty ».
Sos family conflicts
Summer also means More time together. And this may mean greater possibility of sharing but Even more opportunities for clash and misunderstandings with the partner, children, grandparents. «The key is the Communication », explains Compagnoni. «Talk among you adults before leaving: What do we want from these holidays? What do we expect from each other? Must clarify in advance mutual needs and find shared compromises. Put on the table expectations and needs can avoid misunderstandings and tensions. With dialogue and cooperation, conflicts can be faced without being overwhelmed ». Also with children and grandparents The same rule applies: “Explain, listen, negotiate. Grandparents are fantastic allies but they must be involved in the rules of the game To prevent our educational effort from nullifying, without wanting it ».
Mission “Holiday homework”
Icing on the cake of the summer tour de force, Oftenare the very feared as it hated, Holiday homework. As face them without dramas? And how to organize yourself to prevent pages and pages of exercises from triggering the usual arm wrestling between parents and children?
The question of the homes of the holidays is proposed again at each school break and especially in the three, long, summer months in which the Italian school is closed for students. The pros and cons positions
“Better Avoid starting them immediately – Recommend the psychologist. – It is important grant children a period of decompression after the end of the school. When you start again, establish a light routine: half an hour every two days for the children, one hour for the older onesmaybe in the morning or after lunch, avoiding the evening ». And as regards the long -standing issue On the right attitude to keep, how to adjust? Better to help children or let them do it yourself? “THE’autonomy It is a slow conquest – underlines the expert. – We must not replace our children But accompany them, motivate them, guide them with firmness and sweetness And help them tolerate frustration ».
Attention to expectations
In view of the departure for the coveted holidays, also, be careful of expectations. Better to abandon the classic myth of the perfect holiday, With the dream hotel, tailor -made activities and happy and never bored children . “Create unrealistic expectations it only risks generating further stress, anxiety and frustration », He warns the psychologist. «Better clear pacts: decide together, before departure, Some rule shared for a more serene coexistence. A balanced holiday provides for moments of activity for everyone but also time to rest ».
A little trick that can help? “Keep a routine, even on vacation. More flexible, of course, but that gives children one reassuring base. And it’s okay too Boring yourself: boredom stimulates creativity, should not be avoided at all costs ».
Better to abandon unrealistic ideals of perfection
The good news? If lived with the right spirit, summer can truly turn into an occasion precious for the whole family. “It must not be perfect for being happy,” concludes the psychologist. “Indeed, often It is precisely in small unexpected events, On slow days and in shared moments without pressure that hides the truth Relax. With a pinch of organization and flexibility, a little empathy and attention to the well -being of everyone and a lot of communication, Summer chaos can represent an extraordinary opportunity for family growth “.
Parents and children: the 5 tips to survive the summer
In summary, here are the 5 rules of “summer survival” According to the psychologist Mara Compagnoni:
Also respecting a certain stability during times during the times and in daily habits is fundamental. There are no rigid schemes but have fixed points, such as meals or moments dedicated to rest, It helps big and small to feel more serene. The total absence of rules, on the contrary, risks generating disorientation, irritability, confusion, nervousness and family tensions.
Share games, sports, creative jobs, small family challenges or motor activities to be done together creates an emotional connection and strengthens the link between parents and children. These moments help to counteract the sense of guilt that many adults feel when they cannot be present as they would like And, at the same time, they stimulate the sense of autonomy and collaboration in children.
Family holidays can be fertile ground for conflicts. The secret is to talk to each other first. Explicit desires and expectations, limits and needs between partners and children helps prevent frustrations and misunderstandings. Even any Grandparents present must be involved in this educational pact to maintain consistency and harmony.
Idealize the perfect holiday can generate frustration. The too high expectations are, in fact, enemies of well -being. Better to plan less e adopt a flexible attitude, open to the unplugged, accepting that not all days must be full of activity. Also boredom has an educational value Because it stimulates creativity, teaches to manage free time and contributes to the development of independence.
No full immersion immediately. We need a decompression phase before resuming with commitments. Then, it is better Establish a sustainable routine (30 minutes every two days for the little ones, one hour for the adults) so as not to transform the tasks into a punishment. Parents should accompany their children in the process without replacing them, offering emotional support and helping them to tolerate frustrationso as to encourage true autonomy.
Source: Vanity Fair
I’m Susan Karen, a professional writer and editor at World Stock Market. I specialize in Entertainment news, writing stories that keep readers informed on all the latest developments in the industry. With over five years of experience in creating engaging content and copywriting for various media outlets, I have grown to become an invaluable asset to any team.
