Give a definition of integrity it is not easy. If we go to Treccani, we will read that something is intact if it has all its parts, if it is complete. In a broad sense, integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and fair, incorruptible, in a word, solid.
But in scope emotional, what is integrity? All these things, sure, but applied to your own interiority. It’s knowing what you feel and why, and being able and willing to face it and share it, even if it’s painful.
When you “own” your feelings, in the sense that you are aware of them, and you try to represent them to another person in a true and honest way, your actions and your behavior on the outside will correspond to your true feelings at the internal. You will be understandable, even predictable in your relationship.
If the common use of the word integrity means being honest with others, emotional integrity implies be honest with the deepest and most personal part of yourself: your feelings. It means being willing to face uncomfortable truths within you so as not to allow them to harm your partner.
Surprisingly, many people of high personal integrity are torn in this regard: bulwarks of honesty in general, then they are not fully able to face and become aware of their inner demons and their feelings.
One 2021 study conducted by Landa and Englishfound that authenticity of people about their emotions – how well their looks and actions reflect what they really feel inside – can vary based on situations in daily life. This may be because we humans have a natural tendency to avoid deep emotions, difficult conflicts and painful memories. This becomes especially true if you were raised in an emotionally negligent family.
By this definition we mean a emotional abandonment during childhood, i.e. growing up in a family that does not respond to a child’s emotions and emotional needs. In practice, emotions may have been ignored, treated as irrelevant or actively discouraged.
In any of these situations, not only can you learn to underestimate your feelings, but you may also not learn enough about how to identify, name, or express them – all of which are necessary skills to be a person with consistent emotional integrity.
What to do to prove that you are emotionally whole? It should be acknowledged that painful feelings are temporary. They only leave when confronted. Avoiding your emotional truth gives pain more power over you and your partner.
If you grew up in emotional neglect, learn all you can about how this has affected you. Emotional skills you didn’t learn then can be learned now. Becoming more aware of your feelings and learning how and when to share them will increase the emotional integrity of your relationship.
Nobody can be perfect in this. As Landa’s research has shown, everyone’s emotional integrity is vulnerable and will often be tested. But it doesn’t matter: we will falter and fail. The important thing is to try.
But what are the signals that in the couple is this emotional integrity missing? The psychologist tried to trace them Jonice Webbfor the site Psychology Today. Here they are below.
Other stories of Vanity Fair that may interest you are:
Hypersensitivity and love: why does those who feel the most suffer the most?
Mental health: when and why it is important to go to a psychologist
Source: Vanity Fair
Donald-43Westbrook, a distinguished contributor at worldstockmarket, is celebrated for his exceptional prowess in article writing. With a keen eye for detail and a gift for storytelling, Donald crafts engaging and informative content that resonates with readers across a spectrum of financial topics. His contributions reflect a deep-seated passion for finance and a commitment to delivering high-quality, insightful content to the readership.
