Abby, 25: “I got sterilized to have a pain-free life”

Abby Ramsay wanted a “worry-free and pain-free” life. And that existence, according to her, was only possible without children. So, at 16, she decided that sterilization would be the best choice for her. A few years later she started looking for a doctor willing to make her wish, but it wasn’t easy. At the end, at 25, the young Californian woman succeeded in her goal. Meanwhile, he documented his troubled path on social media.

On February 4, Abby underwent combined surgery: the bilateral salpingectomy (the removal of both fallopian tubes, which makes it impossible for the egg to pass from the ovary to the uterus) andendometrial ablation (the surgical removal of the endometrium, the lining of the uterus, responsible for menstrual flow). For Abby, combining both surgeries was her most advantageous option: not only would she have averted any chance of getting pregnant with her, but she would also have relieved her of her periods, which were long and painful. .

Abby it took six years to reach her goal: the doctors did not want to help her because of her young age and because they feared that, in the future, she might regret her decision. But she Abby she knew that, to regret their choices, it is often the people who have become her parents, and this awareness has always given her the strength to continue her path. “There were times when I came home crying,” she says. “It was frustrating. My pain, my desires, my goals and my life were sacrificed for a child who didn’t even exist. A hypothetical person had more control over my future than I did. “

Abby, who has a boyfriend named Kurt, has never even lived through the idea of ​​contraception well. “Condoms and other options are not a sufficient guarantee to put me at ease, ”he said on TikTok. “So I got to the point where, for my peace of mind, the only options would be 100% complete abstinence or sterilization.”

Finally, Abby met a doctor who agreed to operate on her. She did not ask her, as the others had done, an endless series of questions: after a five-minute interview, she presented her with the options she could have made for her. And she granted her wish.

“Although I have many reasons for not wanting to get pregnant,” says Abby, “after all “I don’t want children” is reason enough and must be respected “.

Other stories of Vanity Fair that might interest you:

“If I could go back I wouldn’t want my children”

Mothers who leave their children, their stories

Source: Vanity Fair

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