Ame: “Dear school, I wish you were proud of me”

Dear school, I think it is time to tell you how I really am: I always thought being a teenager was tiring, but I didn’t believe up to this point. Now in the fifth year of this relationship, the amount of stress that the morbidity of our relationship causes me could be comparable to that of patients in a psychiatric hospital, and the fear of not being enough for you terrifies me more and more. I wish you were proud of me, I wish I could show you excellent results every day, but it’s really hard to live this life.

You also know that I should also be able to live outside our relationship, but this year, among the incredible pandemic who literally threw me into an apocalyptic movie and the pressure due to the imminent end of our relationship, it is really difficult to feel like a teenager: my normal aperitifs as a young man now consist of a cup of coffee resting on the desk, next to the swag of notes that I write every day.

You are perpetually in my head, you occupy most of my thoughts, unfortunately not in a pleasant way, because my mind is divided every day between the problems I have with you and those I have as a teenager. Our relationship is becoming more and more toxic, by now it scares me more and more to fail in front of you, but I can’t let go of everything after five years that we are together and one step away from the very beginning of my life.

Dear school, you raised me, cultured me, taught me a million things, but you also gave me hundreds of anxieties, fears and doubts. I am aware that you did not force me to lock myself up in the house, to prevent me from seeing who I love, to make me fear of not being able to return to normal, but you have accentuated these little paranoia of mine, making them existential doubts, so big that every day I would like to leave lose everything, despite the enormous efforts made for you.

I just wish you could console me a little, make me feel protected, peaceful, I wish you could tell me that I can do it, that everything will be fine, that only one last effort is missing, but the only thing I can hear in my head is “outside these walls life is even harder “.

Despite everything, I am grateful to you, my dear school, because if I get through these last months with you, I will be able to face life. You taught me that challenges must be accepted, that a negative comment should not demoralize me but encourage me, that not even months in lockdown can bring us young people down, you have taught me to live even the most frustrating and tiring situations.

So thank you school, because despite everything, I will always have a good memory of us.

Ame Liceo Linguistico S. Quasimodo Magenta (MI)

You can send your letter to the school at: [email protected]. The letters are published in the special Dear School, I am writing to you …