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Andrea Delogu: «I love a man much younger than me. So?”

The bathtub in the bedroom was not foreseen, the architect was categorical: it cannot be done, it is not practical, it has nothing to do with it. Andrea Delogu however he did not yield: but why can’t it be done? I just want her, she said with a hint of determination that she had never felt before. «And in fact, here it is»: Andrea frames a huge tub on the other side of the room with his smartphone. She is satisfied. Then she gets out of bed and shows us a little virtual tour of this apartment in Rome, with lots of parquet and lots of light, the first she bought in her life. She says: “It was my dream all along. And I want to know from every detail that it is mine, because this house is me ». She lives here alone, marriage with Francesco Montanari it ended two years ago and in all this time so many things have happened that it is hard to keep up with it. In no particular order: a late night show, Toned, on Rai; a dystopian novel, Retaliation (Harper Collins), in the ranking of best-selling books in Italy; a program with Stefano Massini; conducting the Campiello prize; the debut in cinema and theater; today the guide, paired with Stefano De Martino, of Tim Summer Hits, Rai’s itinerant music program that starts on June 30 and is somewhat reminiscent of the Festivalbar of the past, with concerts in the square and many guests. And then there is Luigi. The new boyfriend (surname is Bruno), model, 23 years old, of whom she spoke for the first time on TV in March.

How did you meet?
“On social networks. He started texting me privately on Instagram, including a very nice one that said: if in ten years neither of us has found the love of his life, will we get married? I went to see his account and there is this very young and very handsome guy. We started writing to each other, he was telling me about himself and all the things he said were very similar to me. So I thought: no, it can’t be, something isn’t right. “

Because?
“He was too young to have so much in common with me. I was sure he was a fake, a fake profile. I imagined a much older and infinitely less handsome man using photos of a young model. So I started getting annoyed, I felt teased: I wanted to unmask the fake ».

And what did he do?
«One day I go to Naples for work and I ask him if we can have a coffee, since he is from a nearby town. He tells me he can’t come, and I think: ah here, I was right, I caught you, asshole. And I never replied to his messages. “

He imagined a Mark Caltagirone.
«I was beside myself. Until he writes to me that he is coming to Rome because he absolutely must know me and he gives me an appointment near the Colosseum. I arrive with a mixture of curiosity and anger, I park the scooter and from a distance I see the guy from Instagram. I approach and say: what is history? ».

Yeah, what is it?
“Something that has been going on for almost a year.”

One thing?
“I can’t give it a name, I’m too scared. I had given a name to a very important relationship, a marriage, and it’s over. Now I only know that I’m fine with him, hanging out with him has brought back wonderful sensations ».

For instance?
«Luigi is 23 years old, he has the enthusiasm to grow and build his future day by day. He reminded me of what I was like when I took my first steps on television, the beauty of the beginnings ».

Stefano De Martino, 32, with Andrea Delogu, 40. Together they lead Tim Summer Hitsitinerant live music program in Italian squares in six episodes, from 30 June in prime time on Raidue and Raiplay.

What do you have in common?
«Confidence in the future. And then the belief that if you do something because you believe in it, you don’t have to be accountable to anyone. Because, if many write to me to encourage me to live this story as I please, many others take the liberty of criticizing the age difference. Of course it always happens if she is the woman who is older than her partner. “

Sexism?
“Of course. Do you think that once a weekly, in the same issue, a few pages away, published a report with some photos of Benedetta Porcaroli and Scamarcio together, with a very tender title on love. And then another shoot with me and Luigi: here is Andrea, with a much younger boyfriend, all an annoying subtext. Two couples with the same age difference, but totally different gender treatment. This thing made me very angry, so I started talking to everyone about him, I went to very true, I thought it was an absurd situation. Why should society put me in a position to be ashamed of being tied to an extraordinary person? We are out of our minds ».

When they call him a toy boy, how does he react?
“I get pissed off. It’s ridiculous. Offensive to Luigi, who is anything but a toy boy. But in him I find an extraordinary awareness that in the end leads me to not give a damn ».

Level of falling in love?
“I’m not saying this because I don’t want anyone to think it’s forever anymore. Being together takes work, to keep everything going. Nothing is due, and thinking about it is one of the reasons why she ended up with Francesco ».

Will you go to live together with Luigi?
«He travels a lot for work and when he is in Rome he stays with me. It’s a story under construction, let’s see what happens. In a relationship with a person who is conquering the world now, it would be unfair of me to put points on the future, set goals. It’s living, period. We are living ».

Is lightness an achievement?
“For me yes. I just live, without having that anxiety that previously took everything away from me, the anxiety of having to answer society’s questions ».

What questions?
“When are you having a child? When do you make a bigger program? When do you grow up, anyway? But I understood that growing up is not compulsory, only maturing is ».

What is the difference?
“Growing up is associated with a certain idea of ​​becoming an adult, that is, being serious, calm, predictable people. But I’m not like that and I don’t want to be like that. “

When did you understand?
«With the divorce from Francesco. From 30 to 38, as happens to many, I relaxed about who I was. I said to myself: I am like this, this is my life, this is what I have chosen. For many years I have worn a mask, that of the reassuring person, good for making a family. I had put myself in the position of having to answer the questions of others. The occasion for change was the divorce. I looked in the mirror and said to myself: what do I do now? Do I die or do I rebuild? At that moment there was the shot ».

What was the most annoying question he felt he had to answer? The one about his son?
“Yes, because it seems that only if you become a mother are you an adult and have done your duty in the world. I love children, but you have to hear a child. You do not have to do it because there is someone who tells you that you have to do it, because this is the only way to go well. I have never wanted to have a child. I’ve always wanted to be with a person with whom I might be able to have a child. “

Alone, no.
“It’s not my story. I fight so that whoever wants to can do it, but I have never had the need to feel complete only if I become a mother ».

What else has he discovered about himself?
“I’m enjoying it. As a child, I didn’t think I would become like this. I am sarcastic, I enjoy myself, I like to smile, to be with others, but it is difficult for me to trust, I also really like being alone. And I have an immense need to create. I understood this crying one day and the other even in the shower, with Max Pezzali in the background ».

It all started again around the age of forty. How did she go?
“In November I will do a theatrical tour with a show that talks about this, the difficulty of returning to the world of relationships after years of marriage.”

And what’s the world like out there?
“Crazy. Absurd approaches… ».

Guy?
“Like that after the first hello they send you a picture of the penis. It was all fun and tragic at the same time. I did a lot of bullshit, I found myself several nights looking at the ceiling and thinking: what did I do? It’s all over”.

Stories.
«I took so many of those slaps in the face … I received no end, two sensational spades. People who maybe tried when I was busy and then, when I showed up, they refused me. One to whom I had only told to come and have a coffee at home replied: eh no, I am not an object man. To another, after we were dating for a while, I just asked if we were friends, to understand, and he replied that he wanted to keep me at a distance because he was afraid of being used by me “.

The cover of Retaliationthe dystopian novel by Andrea Delogu (Harper Collins, pp. 432, 19 euros).

But why?
“I don’t know, I swear to you!”

But then Luigi arrived.
“So, suddenly. On social media I receive a lot of messages and obviously I don’t reply to everyone. It was almost destined to read about him. ‘

Do you have any regrets?
“Maybe I would do some things differently, but without the mistakes I made I wouldn’t be here.”

Where is it?
“I feel very centered. I have this very clear feeling, never felt before, that anything is possible. I have no regrets, because in the end maybe I got lucky, maybe I deserved what I have, or a mix of the two, but I’m here. And now I take it on“.

Photo Pietro Baroni. Color correction Angelo Trincone.

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Other stories of Vanity Fair that may interest you:

Andrea Delogu: “The darkness that never scared me”

Andrea Delogu reveals: “I’m dating a 23-year-old model”

Andrea Delogu: “The theater is crazy cool”

Source: Vanity Fair

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