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Aurora Ramazzotti: “How to raise a boy”

Aurora Ramazzotti, who will soon become a mother, after months in which she shared very little of her life on social networks compared to usual, to Vanity Fair she tells all about waiting and the arrival of her babythe last moments of boredom «before the arrival of the thing that will never let me get bored again for the rest of my life», of the relationship with her partner Goffredo Cerza and how she experienced the pregnancy because «there are those who adore being pregnant – like my mother – and others, like me, who find it more difficult: it wasn’t the idyllic period that had been painted for me, I was excited but also scared».

How were the first three months?
«Hard. Not only because I had a lot of nausea, but also because people stopped me on the street and asked me about everything. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I was smiling anyway.”

What did they ask her?
«The usual things: how are you doing, you’re happy… I understand good faith, but it’s easy to become inappropriate. It is a delicate, intimate moment, full of insecurities. And it’s not just because the first trimester is at risk. There are those who adore being pregnant – like my mother – and others, like me, who find it more difficult: it wasn’t the idyllic period that had been painted for me, I was excited but also scared. And it hurts to talk about it because you feel wrong. If you manifest these thoughts, they told me I should be happy. People don’t accept that you can live this thing in a way other than enthusiasm».

There are so many nuances.
«Exactly: there are also those who don’t want to keep it, those who have discovered that the child they are expecting has a genetic disease, those who are pregnant after a series of spontaneous abortions. We need to have respect for the choices women want to make about their bodies, in every sense. There are also those who don’t want to have children, and those who don’t care».

You are 26 and 27 years old, you are wealthy: you could do everything and choose to have a child. Someone told you: who made you do this?
“All our friends, basically. Upset. My generation sees parenting as something that takes away from you. Maybe I’m not so scared of the idea because I have my mother’s example, so I know it’s possible to have a child and even a life, I know that motherhood can be an addition not a subtraction».

No fear of not being up to it?
“I’m not the most determined person in the world, am I? The idea of ​​taking responsibility, throughout my life, for another human, well, it wasn’t easy, there were moments during my pregnancy when I said: what cabbage I’m doing? Especially after finding out he’s a boy.’

Change something?
“I instinctively wanted a girl, not because I had a preference, but because I’m very afraid of raising a boy.”

Why?
“I’m a woman, I’ve seen more sisters grow up than brothers, I would have had more experience. I could teach a little girl how to defend herself from everything I’ve faced…”

But Goffredo is next to her.
«I love him very much, I don’t text. But he is truly an incredible person. He is an old soul trapped in a young body. I have to thank his mother Francesca so much, who always says: “I raised him thinking about the man I wanted to meet”. And he shows up.”

Will you get married?
«Today the idea of ​​being together for life is almost a utopia. I haven’t experienced who knows what examples of lasting marriages, but he has parents who have been together for 37 years, and it was therefore he who taught me to think about the future, to imagine building something together”

Don’t you expect me to ask him soon?
“Marriage is not my priority. I would say silly if I said that I dream of a white dress… It cringes me even a little»’

How do you imagine him as a dad?
«I constantly seek balance, he is very pragmatic. Maybe he doesn’t write you a poem, actually, he certainly doesn’t write one, but he solves problems. I don’t feel safe with myself, but with him I do. He is my home, the safe place I come back to. He knows how to love in an intense way, that sometimes I wonder if I deserve. And I say to myself: damn if he loves me like that, who knows how he will love his son ».

His parents who become grandparents, on the other hand, make no secret of being very happy.
«My father is happy, he asks me, he is very tender, he excites me. My mother is a completely different story: she doesn’t hold on, it’s as if she had a child».

Michelle said: “I will mess with my nephew, I will take him skiing, to play sports, I still have a lot of energy”. She didn’t think: even less?
«(…) He already has a crib, a changing table, a baby monitor, he’s setting up a room in his house. I hadn’t bought anything yet, then we went looking for some onesies and she took what I bought: so I don’t have to carry everything around like she used to, she says. We have everything double: diapers, nasal aspirators, shampoo, scissors… Yesterday I looked at her, and I saw her so happy, I was moved: damn, I’m very lucky to have her».

Why did he drop out of university?
“For so many reasons. The main one is that I received a death threat and I had to start shooting with the bodyguard and change my lifestyle. It wasn’t an easy time.”

Tell us about it?
«I had gone to live alone at 19 with the money I had saved up, because I was already working. All my friends were going to university, however, and I wanted to enroll in Sociology with an emphasis in Performing Arts. Even though I had a beautiful childhood, I didn’t have a standard family situation, then my mother remarried, my father remarried, small children at home, in short: I needed space. Alone I was crazy, I made a thousand messes, but I also studied: just when I was starting to savor my new independence, the threat arrived. They told my mother that if she didn’t pay, something would happen to me maybe the next day, or in two years, or ten. I was terrified, and even today it’s a fear that hasn’t quite gone away. The first period was devastating, while my peers were free, I was in a tunnel: I was afraid to go shopping, let alone attend university”

Source: Vanity Fair

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