Carolyn Smith: “I had to stop chemo, but I don’t want to lose my smile”

C.arolyn Smith61 years old, he never loses his smile: it is her most powerful weapon against “the intruder”, as she calls the tumor that declared war on her in 2015. The Scottish choreographer has returned to talk about it at very truewhere he explained that for some months he has not been able to undergo chemotherapy for “a small liver problem“.

His path to recovery, therefore, is not completely completed: «This tumor of mine comes and goes, there is still no way to definitively kill it. I have to have chemotherapy to keep it at bay. Until six months ago, when this liver problem came out, I had it every three weeks. Now, however, I must first resolve the cause of this stop and then I will be able to resume the therapy ». She admits that she has to undergo the next tests with some fear: «The doctors told me that if I don’t have chemo I have a 65% chance that the cancer will come back. This forced break from therapies scares me but I don’t want to lose my smile. I want to convey the message that in life, alongside the bad things that can happen, there are also many beautiful things that are worth fighting for “.

Telling her story of care, Carolyn Smith retraced the various stages: “The first time I felt something strange I was playing on the bed with my little dogs. One of them repeatedly jumped on my chest and I felt a pain I had never felt before. I had always had preventive screening and that time, after a first superficial visit, they told me not to worry, maybe I had taken a blow. A few months later other ailments prompted me to do more in-depth investigations and the diagnosis of breast cancer came out ».

Unfortunately, after the mastectomy the cancer returned with a recurrence in 2017. Yet Carolyn Smith continued to gain strength and give courage even to those around her: “It was I who consoled my husband Tino (Ernestino Michielotto, ed), I told him that everything would be fine ». He had to put all the big heart he has in it: «The intruder who entered me had taken away my life, all my work. I remember that after the surgery I couldn’t even stand up. So I closed myself in my studio, I started doing dance exercises again. It was difficult and even today everything is still not as it was before the illness. Now I want to pass on my experience to other women. Here in Italy I found a bit of modesty or fear in talking about cancer, in openly addressing the issue of cancer. I hope that through my story other women find courage. Many stop me and thank meit’s beautiful”.

As a true warrior, Carolyn Smith returns to the battlefield to win, even if the fatigue increases: “In the beginning it was easier, as I go on I feel more fragile”. Together with the love of her husband Tino, who defines her as her “source of energy”, she will use all of her weapons. Her smile and her dance: “For me it is life, it is like breathing“.

Source: Vanity Fair

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