Charity Dago: “How I became”

This article is published in issue 40 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until October 5, 2021

How long does it take to find yourself? There are those who take a lifetime and those two, who have always known it, who with difficulty get there little by little, and who never finds out. Charity Dago suddenly understood this. “I’ve been straightening my hair, chemically, for as long as I can remember. The day I decided to quit, I felt happy, very happy: I could look in the mirror and finally see who I really was, natural “, she says smiling, while explaining the research she is making on herself and which has led her to open, in January 2020, Wariboko, the first casting agency for Afro-descendants in Italy.

But let’s start from the beginning: «I was born in Carpi in the province of Modena, I am an authentic Emilian and I am proud of it».

What family did she grow up in?
“My parents are from Nigeria, my father arrived in the late 1970s, he was coming to study here. Then my mother also came and opened an ironing room. They worked hard to raise me and the three brothers who were born later ».
How was the Italy of the 70s that your parents told you about?
“I think there is a very strong taboo in my family on this issue, I know they have had many difficulties. My father graduated with a degree in geology – the idea was to go back to Africa and work on oil rigs – and, when he thought about starting his career here, he found himself repeatedly in job interviews where he was denied access. access to the profession. Italy has been difficult terrain for my parents: they have had two activities and they have always transferred the difficulty of being accepted, of being able to be themselves. They made many sacrifices ».
And his mother?
“She arrived dreaming of studying economics at university, but then she became a mother and it became very complicated. From her I learned what it means to be a black woman, to carry around a black body, to be a beautiful woman and to always have eyes on her. My brothers and I grew up in Emilia, a land that welcomes and protects you, less harsh than Milan, to say, even if obviously I have suffered episodes of racism ».
Which?
“I was the only black girl in the room, in the class, impossible not to feel different.”
What language did you speak at home?
“This is a sore point. My sister and I, who is one year younger than me, spoke Italian at school, at home the Nigerian Igwa dialect. Until – they told us -, since we always came home crying, because they made fun of us for our imperfect Italian and the dialect we used between us, my parents decided to speak only Italian at home. The problem is that now I no longer speak the language of my ancestors, and today that I go in search of my identity I miss it very much ».
Children are cruel. And what were the adults like?
«Today I recognize those I suffered as micro aggressions, the most veiled form is that of the“ jokes ”on the alleged inferiority given by the color of the skin. These are situations in which you cannot argue, partly because you do not have the tools, partly because there are the stereotypes of the “black woman who gets angry” … My father insisted a lot on this: he wanted us to be irreproachable citizens, always kind, educated, educated, people of value to not be attacked or to be able to respond. Then there are the more unpleasant episodes such as allegations, nicknames. The most serious aspect, however, is the much older white men who see a sexual object in the body of a 10-year-old girl. This is one of the strongest traumas ».
Did something happen to you and your sister?
«Not a direct violence but they are” attentions “with which you learn to live together, and all the black women I meet, from wherever they arrive in Africa, have in common. It is a legacy of colonialism, also because I am talking about over 50s who have been taught that this is legitimate, not to be condemned ».
Have you talked about it in your family?
“At the time it was taboo, and I only matured after it was due to what my mother must have gone through: I’m Italian and I feel Italian, but she arrived having to learn Italian from television, pregnant, without my father that he could help her because she had to work… Although we came from a wealthy family in Nigeria, the same could not be said of us in Italy. Only now that my younger sister is 26 have we confronted each other, only now in this historical period can we bring out these traumas, because only now can we talk about them “.
Why, now, can it be?
“It’s like we’ve had an awakening. Before we needed to be accepted, we empowered others to dispose of our lives. I chased a life in which I had to prove that I was a good person, so that I could be accepted, and suffer less. Today we are aware of our body and our identity, and this gives us a way to unite. Now I have black friends, which has never happened, with whom to talk about very touching topics, things never told because it was thought that a white person could not understand them. Telling them means exposing yourself and then feeling trivialized: so shut up ».
Give an example.
“When I was at university I went to Berlin with my sister and a friend of mine, the two of us black, she white, all three with Italian identity cards – I had citizenship at 12 thanks to the fact that my father had become Italian citizen. She quietly passes the controls, the two of us are stopped. We are kept in custody for half an hour in a small room by agents who speak to us only in German, and then let us free. When we told her about the frustration, the discomfort and the fear we had felt, she downplayed, and this thing stuck with me: if she didn’t understand her, a close person, let alone the others. So I learned to keep it all inside. But I have a thousand examples… ».
Continue.
«I’m at the supermarket with my boyfriend, white, we are at the checkout: he is smiles and if you don’t understand that we are close because we are a couple, then maybe I’m close to him because I’m trying to steal his wallet. Every time you have to justify your presence ».
Is it a fixed thought?
“Exactly: every morning you leave the house and you know that you will be looked upon with suspicion, that your every move can be misunderstood. In a shop, if there is a security guard, you know that he will follow you and observe you. Being carefree is a luxury, you are always on alert, 365 days out of 365 ».
There are those who committed suicide, I think of Seid Visin, for this constant pressure, which is often minimized.
“I knew him, it was heartbreaking.”
Why is there who overcomes it and who does not?
«We react differently to discrimination. Within my own family we think differently. It would have been much easier for me to go and live abroad, like my father or my two younger brothers, who literally fled Italy. They don’t understand my commitment to Wariboko, because I want to change things instead of minding my own business ».
How did your mission start?
«I loved fashion and I enrolled at the University of Reggio Emilia to study Communication and Marketing. I didn’t graduate – two exams are missing – because I left for an internship in Milan and specialized there in styling, production and directing assistance for fashion shows. To round up, I was also a helper and an actress to make commercials, and that’s where it all started ».
Stories.
“At a casting they tell me that I have to play a girl who takes swimming lessons, in the pool, in contact with chlorine. I had just started my transition period from straightened hair to natural afro, I was taking the first steps towards myself. I realized I wasn’t going to feel it, my hair was going to get ruined, and I didn’t want to jeopardize all my efforts. For the first time I was putting myself in front of everything, but not only: I had to say this to a white man, my booker, who surely would have thought me crazy. There I asked myself: if there had been a person he was on the other side, would he understand? There were no agencies for Afro-descendants in Italy, so I decided to create my own, to help many others. At the beginning of 2020 I opened ».
Just before the pandemic.
«It was a push to take this path with even more conviction: fashion, where I worked, was at a standstill, so I could dedicate myself to my business. So many talents arrived and after George Floyd it was an explosion ».
Because?
“A jolt has come from America. We realized there that there was a community of Italian black-skinned children, adopted, born in Italy, raised in Italy, children of mixed couples … The young generation Z cannot be counted, I continuously receive emails from parents and children who propose themselves and they are grateful for our activity, which I hope will soon have competitors and that in ten years – I’ll give myself a deadline – it has exhausted its mission, including people of all colors ».
In what worlds do these guys work with you?
«Fashion, cinema, advertising, creativity in general, we need photographers, directors, screenwriters. In some moments the demand exceeds the offer ».
Do you feel that a cultural change is taking place?
«Fashion has always been multi-ethnic, black models have always been there. The real change is in the field of television and advertising, which enter everyone’s home. And it comes from the United States above all: these are the products of multinationals that ask for casting not only for whites. I know I will be moved when the ad comes up for a black family going on vacation. ‘
Will that be the new normal?
«It is already that. The representation of reality is missing, we must aspire to that. I bet everything on the future, if I think of a child I would like to leave him the world in a way a little better than how I found him ».

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