Couple affinity: 7 ways to stimulate desire

The report it’s like fire, it has to be fed with time and energy. After the initial spark, the flame grows and releases constant heat. When it fades, however, you have to be able to intensify it before it goes out completely and that, at that point, every effort is in vain.

To best overcome theexpectation vs reality effect, there are some factors to consider. First, it must be said that in a lasting story, the novelty effect fades. As you get to know your partner better, their habits become more familiar and there is less to discover.

The brain, consequently, returns to a situation of equilibrium.

Secondly, often influenced by films, books and mental idealizations, you risk having too high expectations of what life as a couple should be like. Here then, if the reality proves different, the sparks could fade.

To these situations are added all the variables of daily life, represented by commitments, normal fluctuation of libido, problems that are reflected on the emotional state. All of these variables can diminish sexual passion and understanding.

According to Dr. Tameca N. Harris-Jackson, these types of changes can lead to a negative correlation between mind and body, making sexual intimacy difficult or unattractive. Here are the gestures to do before the flame goes out completely.

HONESTY OF FEELINGS

Talking and sharing your feelings and sensations with your partner is always the first thing to do. The key to building and maintaining a healthy relationship is ensuring that all parties involved feel listened to, respected, fulfilled and safe.

FLIRT MORE OFTEN

Just turn on your memory and remember what you did during the first months of the relationship to strike and arouse the other person’s interest. Here, just brush up on some seduction techniques.

SEXTING

Even if you are living together, it is important to stimulate the imagination, create anticipation and desire through text messages. After a long time together, couples find themselves falling into a casual routine, a routine that often includes lounging on the couch next to each other staring at each other’s phones. A habit that intensified during the lockdown, due to the more time available and always closed in the same domestic environments.

JUST ONE THING

Yes, even one small change is enough to start. Finding something that is foreign to both of them not only increases the novelty of the whole situation, but it unites in sharing a new experience.

REVIEW THE LIST OF PRIORITIES

Sex, for example, needs to be put back in the right place.

THE REACTIVE DESIRE

As the magazine reports Purewow, sexologist and author Dr. Jess O’Reilly, notes that there are two types of desire. Spontaneous desire that happens on its own, and reactive desire that occurs as a result of another act. For example, catching your partner’s gaze or starting to kiss him. Investing more time in reactive desire could help break down the barriers in the bedroom.

SEX THERAPY

Some couples find sex therapy incredibly helpful. It is a way of bouncing problems on a third party who is prepared to guide couples through difficult times. Couples sex therapy can help partners define their individual needs and develop a healthy vocabulary to cope with the difficult times of the future.

Sometimes, there is persistent resentment hindering intimacy, due to past infidelity or a discrepancy in sexual drives, therapy is a safe and healthy way to analyze resentment and learn to deal with it right away.

Comparisons with others are always to be avoided. Each story is unique and what matters is the flame that keeps it alive.

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