Couple moved to Portugal, but woman had to deal with family tragedy

Convince your husband Mark retiring early and leaving behind life in San Diego, California, in the United States, to travel the world in 2018 was not an easy task for Kimberly Walker .

Kimberly, who previously worked as a landscaper, says that Mark, then employed by a nutrition and weight loss company, resisted the idea at first. But over time, he relented.

“It’s one of those life-changing decisions,” Kimberly told CNN Travel . “Once you quit your job and retire, there’s no going back if it’s a mistake.

“He was nervous, and I said, ‘Look, whatever happens, we’re going to wish we had started sooner. There’s no other way to look at it.’ And I’m so happy that he listened to me and that we traveled the world.”

A moment that changed everything

Married since 1997, the couple lived as nomads for four years visiting countries such as Poland, Montenegro and Australia, before settling in Portugal, in March 2021.

Mark, a cycling enthusiast, fell in love with the country’s pleasant climate and quickly adapted to life in Portuguese lands. Kimberly believed they had many years ahead of them to enjoy this new routine, but everything changed abruptly eight months ago, when Mark passed away suddenly.

Now, Kimberly faces the difficult task of moving forward without her partner, in the place they chose together to start over.

“Even if we think about the possibility of becoming a widow one day, it’s not something we imagine for now,” she reflects. “We were living the heyday making our dreams come true.”

Kimberly explains that her main objective in leaving the US was explore the world together.

“A lot of people flee the US, but that wasn’t the case for us,” she says. “We wanted to travel. We liked Europe, and Southern California is so far from here… I wanted to come and stay.”

The definitive change

When they decided to leave, sold almost all of their assets kept their home in San Diego and organized new families for their two dogs. Friends and neighbors gathered for a lively farewell, with many doubting the couple would last more than six months away.

But they have adapted to the nomadic lifestyle, traveling to destinations such as Amsterdam, Denmark, Brussels, France, Spain and the UK, often as housekeepers.

During the covid-19 pandemic, they were “trapped” in New Zealand for 18 months and at the end of that period they decided it was time to find a house.

Portugal, a place they had previously considered, turned out to be perfect. They got a visa and rented a house in Vilamoura, in the Algarve, where they began to build a new life.

Despite cultural differences, Kimberly adapted to the country’s relaxed style, while Mark made friends through cycling. They were happy.

Tragic turn of events

Despite the challenges of adapting to a new life in another country, Kimberly and Mark were happy and finding their way. “We were solid,” she recalls. “Very good. Always together, for 37 years.”

In March, while visiting a friend in Spain, Mark suffered a heart attack and passed away . “It was terrible,” says Kimberly. “It shouldn’t have happened… But it did. I still haven’t been able to accept it. It’s been eight months, but it feels like eight days.”

Although she briefly considered returning to the United States, she decided to remain in Portugal.

“A lot of people thought I was going to come home,” she says. “But this is my home now. I think I’ve been gone long enough to not feel like I still belong there.”

After resolving the bureaucracy and making the necessary arrangements, Kimberly returned to Portugal alone. She dreaded “that four and a half hour ride with his bike on the roof of the car to an empty apartment,” and, as expected, it was a difficult journey.

Back in Vilamoura, Kimberly found herself alone, not knowing what to do. Decided adopt a dog called Honey, to keep her company while she faced the paperwork resulting from the loss of her husband.

Kimberly was touched by the support she received from the local community, who came together to help her. “I discovered I had more friends here than I thought,” she says. “And you need that at these times.”

Although she does not yet know how long she will remain in Vilamoura, she does not plan to make any major changes at the moment.

“I don’t want to start over,” he says. “I’m not ready to go through Mark’s stuff yet. I will stay in the same apartment for another year so I can resolve everything calmly.”

Grief process

According to Kimberly, her family in the United States has been very supportive, although no one has been able to visit her in Portugal.

“I have two sisters, and they both talked about getting on a plane to see me,” she says. “But they are typical Americans, none of them have passports.”

Although it is difficult to be alone, Kimberly believes it would be even more painful to return to the United States.

“Not everything I do here is a memory without my husband,” she explains. “In San Diego, everything hurts.”

However, even in Portugal, where there are fewer shared memories with Mark, grief is inevitable .

“I am facing a loss that is difficult to accept,” he admits. “But half of all married couples go through this at some point… I’m not that unique.”

And he adds: “It was sooner than I expected, quick and abrupt.”

Determined to honor her plans, Kimberly traveled alone to Norway in July, a trip the couple had planned before Mark’s death.

“The trip was fantastic,” she says. “There were a lot of single people, and everyone was very welcoming. I know how to travel alone, I’ve done it before. But traveling without Mark was too big a challenge .”

Kimberly hopes to continue exploring the world, but prefers to have company on future adventures. “If you know anyone who wants to travel, let me know,” she jokes.

In August, Kimberly returned to the United States to visit her family for the first time since Mark’s death. He decided to make the trip before his niece’s wedding, so as not to overshadow the event with his sadness.

“I knew the wedding was coming,” he explains. “So I wanted to arrange my first trip home early, so the bride could have her moment of joy.”

She was recently in California for her wedding, which she thought was beautiful. “Marriages will be difficult for me,” she says. “It was good to have gotten over part of that experience.”

Focused on the future

This year, Kimberly faces her first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her husband. While you’re planning a quiet day for your first holiday, you’ll be spending Christmas in the UK with friends you’ve met on your travels.

“It’s just one day,” he reflects. “It’s not something that’s impossible to deal with.”

As for the future, she is keeping an open mind. “I might end up going back to the USA,” he considers.

“But for now, I think I’m good here. This is the best place to continue this process.”

Kimberly is renewing her temporary residence permit and considering apply for Portuguese citizenship in the future.

Although she didn’t expect to enter this new phase of life alone, she is determined to continue.

“I feel lucky to have had so many incredible adventures with Mark and I look forward to having many more when the time is right.”

“There’s a happy person inside me trying to come out every now and then,” he concludes. “I will find her again. I want to honor my husband, and being sad is part of that. As much as it hurts, it’s important to live this process.”

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Source: CNN Brasil