Courtship, how does it distinguish from an obsession?

It is one of the most delicate phases of a relationship, the one in which everything is played for everything. But it is also the phase in which each woman can grasp fundamental signs on the quality of the relationship that she will decide or not to undertake.

The courtship is a valid litmus test to be able to recognize potentially violent behavior in advance. Precise gestures and methods allow to distinguish between what is a physiological insistence in the context of a “healthy” courtship and a fixation generated by a sick psychological framework.

Because when you woo seriously and authentically, a pressing intelligent. Those who want to show their interest uses their heads, creativity, fantasy. He engaged in depth with the thought, the word, looks to the will of the person he is trying to conquer. It is a clear challenge, and in this context a certain degree of insistence can also be lawful. But the authentic suitor knows that there is a path to be taken, also made of uncertainties and failures. He knows, above all, that in the face of a declared disinterest, it is appropriate to stop.

When he is obsessed with her

In obsessive courtship it is easy to recognize the typical instead Stalking mode. Even in the face of a refusal or disinterest, he will always behave as “an ram that continues to break through a closed door”, specifies the clinical psychoanalyst and forensic Laura Pigozzi, in an interview a Vanity Fair in which he deepened the topic.
Not only that: the obsessed does not think, it does not invent, it does not come out of its fixed idea of ​​conquest. He continues to repeat the same gestures and the same phrases as a capricious child who wants a toy at all costs that he cannot have. He is convinced that it is enough to ask to obtain, he does not understand the value of the no and, consequently, does not mention it even in front of a refusal. The most serious consequence? Do not accept the fact that the other person has his will: he continues to think that she is “for him” and not “with him”.

The next time a man will make you advances, or will begin to flirt with you, then observe what he says, as he says, what he does. And reflect us carefully.

Source: Vanity Fair

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