“After a few weeks of living together he started to treat me badly, he yelled at me, he insulted me because I was trans. Until he beat me up and there I was really scared », is the story of Cristina, 26, transsexual who came from Peru to Milan a couple of years ago. Domestic violence knows no discrimination and is not only the prerogative of heterosexual couples. She discovered it in her twenty years of experience in the field Chiara Sainaghi, today in charge of the anti-violence centers and shelters of the Somaschi Foundation: «The reality of violence can exist in intimate relationships of any kind, even in homosexual couples or those involving transgender people. The difference is that these cases remain even more submerged and, when the victim manages to ask for help, she often finds herself in a dead end or just doesn’t know where to turn. ” For this the Somaschi Foundation of Milan, together with Lila Foundationopened the Iris desk, a center dedicated to victims of violence belonging to the LGBTQI + community.
“We decided to follow this path after a few episodes that we happened to observe”, explains Sainaghi, “obviously, in itself, a differentiated and separate space from the other anti-violence centers would not be needed, but we want it to be clear to members of the LGBT + community that there is a place they can turn to. In the past, we have received phone calls from men in homosexual relationships who were denied an interview at other branches. Or, through our unit that is dedicated to the victims of exploitation of prostitution, we have met transsexual girls who were abused within their personal emotional relationship, but were hesitant to talk about it, they thought they could not do anything “.
Anti-violence centers are traditionally reserved for women, they were created as safe places to embark on a path of rebirth where women can feel totally at ease. Trivially, even the communication of these places is always declined in the feminine and could create distancing in a different target. «Our approach is that of hospitality. We have never denied an interview to anyone and we thought that the Iris counter could facilitate access to anyone who wishes to ask for help, also to bring out as many cases as possible », continues Sainaghi.
Cristina came to them about a year ago, redirected by the telephone number 1522. «I didn’t call», she specifies, «but an Italian colleague who understood what was happening to me. I got along well with the counter operators because I felt I was not being judged and I was able to speak my language thanks to a translator ». Cristina had not told anyone what was happening to her with that boy who had gone to live at her house, nor to her family in Lima, nor to the few friends here in Italy: “They are not real friends, they would only have gossiped about me, and my mom doesn’t want her to worry, I’m here in Italy to help her and my five brothers ».
When she arrived in Milan Cristina found a precarious job in a restaurant, where luckily an employee wanted to help her by making that phone call: «I didn’t know I could ask for help, I was afraid because I don’t have the documents in order. Once the police had already come home, called by the neighbors who heard my screams, but no one had told me who I could turn to for support or advice. ” Police headquarters and hospitals are some of the key access points where the Somaschi Foundation is promoting the Iris desk, so that they can act as a link with the victims. “When a person transgender, perhaps even without documents in order, he tries to report, a series of prejudices are stratified that tend to obscure the seriousness of the crime. As we know it is already difficult for women in these situations, in Cristina’s case it’s like carrying a backpack that weighs twice as much “, Sainaghi explains,” we want to network with all the services and the police so as not to leave anyone unheard ” .
Cristina’s story presents some typical characteristics of the dynamics of domestic abuse: the escalation of violence, first verbal and then physical, the devaluation of the victim by the partner and her progressive isolation from family and friends, the alternation of moments of aggression and well-being that brings confusion, guilt and inability to react: «Each time he apologized, he said he would never do it again. Even when I managed to send him away from home he kept calling me and following me to get back together “, she says today on the phone,” but I I was tired of not being able to live a normal life, of always being afraid, like when I was in Peru. I left for that too, because it is a dangerous country for us trans girls ». Chiara Sainaghi adds that there are some peculiarities of these cases that have led them to expand the services available at the Iris counter: «Traditionally an anti-violence center provides psychological and legal consultants. In this case we collaborate with professionals who have skills in the field of domestic abuse, but also related to discrimination, immigration problems, or the protection of children in homosexual couples. And of course, in case of emergency, we are ready to host people in a shelter, also protecting any minors ».
After a few months’ journey, Cristina managed to put this story behind her and today she says she is “calmer”. What would she say to someone who is in her situation as she did a year ago? “First of all not to believe her boyfriend when she swears she will stop. And then of don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is not true that it is risky to do so if you do not have the documents in order. There are places where you will find girls like you, where they will listen to you without judging. One cannot live in the anguish of leaving the house ».
The Iris door it is located in Piazza XXV Aprile 2 in Milan. It is open every Friday from 2pm to 6pm. It is then open by appointment: you can book by calling the number 3387253948, active 24 hours a day, or by e-mail [email protected]. Online meetings are also available to facilitate those who do not live in the metropolitan area of Milan.
Source: Vanity Fair
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