Dangerous temptations

How did they help her?
“They had noticed my change. I was finding lots of excuses not to go on dates and my mood had changed. One night they convinced me to say everything. And, instead of judging, they showed me a way out, referring me to the Sert and then to a psychological support group aimed at women with excessive gambling problems “.

Have you ever had relapses?
“Yes, and even in this case there were friends. When it happened, they would say to me: “Here is Vanessa, do you see now how bad you are? And how well were you before, when you weren’t playing? Try to live those beautiful moments and say enough, I don’t want to play anymore ”. They were really close to me without ever judging me, because they understood that it was a disease ».

And today?
“I know the problem was my unhappiness within the family. And this experience helped me find the strength to separate. I also recently stopped hanging out with the
support to distance myself for a moment and understand if I can walk with my legs. I’m working hard: I savor little things that no longer interested me, like going shopping, I see myself every day with a retired friend. I am trying to create alternative interests and I must say that it is working very well “.

How is it managed today from an economic point of view?
“I was left with nothing, apart from my pension, administered by a trusted person dear to me who periodically gives me a fixed amount. In addition to psychological help, I know that the solution to getting out of addiction completely is to have no money or cards in hand. My priority now is saving, and that’s what gives me the most satisfaction. I can also have some goals: I keep this money for a trip, this other money for my children, this maybe for my old age, since I’m alone and I have to think about my future too “.

Can you get out of the gambling tunnel?
«Yes, even if not everyone accepts external help and this is precisely the mistake. When I told my friends the truth it was like taking a boulder out of my head. That’s where I realized I needed help, that I couldn’t do it alone. Even now, until I have absolute certainty that I can take my life in hand, I will continue to have someone else manage my money. I will decide when to go back to living normally: I want to feel safe not to fall back into the spiral. And this certainty can only be given to me “.

A help beyond the stigma

In Italy, when we talk about gambling addiction we are talking mainly about men.
“Because women addicted to gambling are invisible subjects and few are those who ask for help”, explains Fulvia Prever, psychotherapist, scientific director of the project Gambling & Women SUN (N) COOP (sunncoop.it, telephone 331.9215627), international contact person for Behavioral Addictions for women. «The support group was born in 2010 because the services dealing with gambling addiction are not women friendly enough, since it is very difficult to open up due to the strong stigma. In fact, it is said of a woman who plays that she “starves her children”, which does not happen to a man ». Therefore scarce data in Italy but also in the world, as Prever explains in the book Women and gambling disorder, created as part of the Milano NoSlot project, subsidized by the Municipality. The acknowledged data is that there are many women who play, almost as many as men, and that more and more develop a problematic game, to the point that the percentage of women who access the game at least 5 times a week is equivalent to that of men (5% ).

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