Disabled people also have the right to have sex

If there is one thing that I have learned in the course of my life it is that despite the fact that around human beings there are infinite characteristics, infinite ways of being and as many shades of the soul, there is one thing that unites them all: to have a body. People with disabilities do not always have the opportunity to freely access the body dimension.

Although our body is constantly touched for countless reasons, ranging from assistance related to daily care up to sometimes unsolicited contacts, the pleasure sexual it is an often ignored sphere. Sexuality is still considered a distant aspect for people with disabilitiesand in the collective imagination the disabled body automatically becomes asexual. In this sense, the LoveGiver Committee founded by Maximiliano Ulivieri stood out for the commitment carried out, together with theLuca Coscioni Associationto regulate thesexual assistance and the OEAS (Affectivity, Emotional and Sexuality Operator), professional figure not legally recognized in Italy.

“The Luca Coscioni Association has always fought for everyone’s freedom to be effective in every time and field of life, removing the obstacles – as our Constitution dictates – that actually limit the freedom of citizens”, he explains Rocco Berardo, coordinator of the initiatives on disability of the Luca Coscioni Association, «We have been committed for years to overcome physical, sensory, digital, but more generally cultural barriers. In the field of sexuality, for example, few, if not those directly concerned, question the possibilities that people with disabilities have to experience it in some way. Today that physical and psychological dimension relating to their sexual sphere is in fact prohibited. A moment in life that everyone knows how fundamental it remains for many people. This is why we appeal to Parliament to adopt a law on the subject, which we have been trying to bring to public discussion for years ”.

There is still too much resistance towards sexual assistance, often the result of prejudice and lack of knowledge. I talk about it with Maximiliano Ulivieri, Project Manager and founder of the LoveGiver Committee.

I know the Luca Coscioni Association and the LoveGiver Committee who have been pushing for years for the recognition of sexual assistance, yet too many people are still confused about the OEAS, why? Could you explain what this figure is about?
«The confusion is simply linked to the fact that the questions are not asked to those who deal with them directly and in priority. I have often found myself at the center of discussions, controversies or misinterpretations. Sometimes the misunderstanding is the result of prejudices, sometimes of the difficulty or resistance to change one’s thinking and views. In this case, the possibility of dialogue is always uphill. The OEAS is a professional operator (man or woman) with a bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual orientation who must have “healthy” psychophysical and sexual characteristics (importance of a careful selection of OEAS aspirants). Thanks to the acquired and previous professionalism, she supports people with disabilities to experience eroticism and sexuality. This operator, trained from a theoretical and psycho-corporeal point of view on the themes of sexuality, allows to accompany people with physical-motor and / or psychic / cognitive disabilities to live an erotic, sensual and / or sexual experience. The meetings, in fact, are oriented in a continuum that goes from simple massage or physical contact, to body to body, experimenting with contact and sensory experience, giving fundamental suggestions on auto-erotic activity, up to stimulating and fully experiencing the sexual pleasure of the orgasmic experience. The operator of “sexual well-being” has, to all intents and purposes, an adequate and qualified preparation and does not focus exclusively on the simple “mechanical” process of sexuality and genitality. On the contrary, it mainly promotes sexual-affective education, directing the “energies” trapped inside the body of the person with disabilities. The final goal is to bring the person to the greatest possible autonomy, contributing, at the same time, to remove or overcome those physical, psychological and cultural barriers that do not allow us to better enjoy this important dimension of our existence ».

Given that I have always been a person who supports free choice, especially when it concerns the self-determination of one’s body, I seem to understand that one of the major oppositions that are raised against this figure is that of associating the OEAS with sex working. Why, and what are the reasons why this association is actually wrong?
“People often have a superficial, not to say simplistic, approach to things. Trying to understand, research, deepen costs effort. Better to comment straight away, without questioning your own preconceptions and cognitive biases. I state that the idea of ​​ranking or making moral judgments is far from us and we remain of the idea that the work of sex workers is legitimate and must be regulated, but there are some differences. The most important is in the objective. In prostitution, we try to build customer loyalty by making sure that they come back. The OEAS does exactly the opposite. Seek the autonomy of the person to ensure that there is no longer a need for her work. In practice, it is as if you are working “against” yourself. Having said that, I believe that any work that has to do with the body is dignified, if chosen freely,
in full awareness and reciprocity of purpose. If anything, it is immoral that we consider immoral or deplorable anything that has to do with the sexual well-being, in particular then, of people who would have no other possibility in life to try it, apart from contact with an OEAS ».

Where words do not reach, numbers often do. Despite the bill for the
recognition of the OEAS was presented for the first time in Italy in 2014, it seems
almost as if this bill has ended up a bit ‘in oblivion, as if its importance was not noticed. What is the situation in Italy?
“It is true, the DdL 1442 presented by former senator Sergio Lo Giudice of 2014 has never been discussed in any commission. This is also due to the short duration of the legislatures. At each new legislature, the path of the bill should be restarted. However, there are other factors, not just the political one, for which this law is struggling to be supported, discussed, approved. One of these is the lack of pressure from associations. It is true that since the creation of the LoveGiver Committee many associations have called us for conferences on the subject of sexuality and disability. Unfortunately, there are hardly any sequels thereafter. There is no public request and not even the institutions. This does not make the political world understand the importance of the issue and even the urgency. In addition, the fear, the modesty of families who find the courage to ask us for help but not to make it known to the institutions, increases this lack of strength to stimulate the politician on duty to push for an ad hoc law “.

In terms of rights, one of the other collateral issues that people with disabilities have been fighting for for some time is that of independent living. In your opinion, can sexual assistance represent a form of autonomy for people with disabilities?
“It can represent a part of it, not all of it. It must be inserted in a process of autonomy that allows people to be able to determine themselves in every aspect of life. From mobility, to study, to work, to free time, hobbies, sports, events, relationships. In short, independent life includes many aspects. Of course, it is not always possible to have autonomy or independence in everything. Surely there is a need for personal assistance that allows you to become independent from the family. To have it, however, you need to have more funds but, above all, a decent pension, which is not what it is now ».

• After his first book In Disabilandia there is a trumpet (2017, Sperling & Kupfer), Marina Cuollo has just published Viola (Fandango Libri, pp. 240, € 17), his first novel, the first in fiction, in which he does not directly tell about himself.