Djarah Kan and the harassment suffered: “The waitresses are slaves”

Djarah Kan is 28 years old and lives in Naples. She has Ghanaian origins but was born in Italy, although she only obtained citizenship in 2018. After dropping out of university, she managed, she says, “to finally find peace in writing and literature”. In fact, Djarah writes stories, essays, reflections on society and politics, always starting from his inner riots.

A few days ago, in her Instagram stories, she mentioned the discrimination she received when she worked as a waitress.

Attitudes too often belittled and ignored, children of a patriarchal and misogynist culture that uses a certain arrogance to prevail over women.

“After the lockdown ended, I looked for jobs that were distant from my pre-pandemic job, which is that of a singer for events and ceremonies. I had a rent to pay and no living parent to ask for help. ‘

What did he do?
«I was a domestic worker, receptionist and then a waitress. Especially in a place for young offspring sons of dads, with the particularity of having an all-female staff ».

Seemed strange to you as what?
“It worried me: employers often choose women because they cost less. The gender pay gap (that is, the difference in wages between men and women for the same job and quantity of work, ed) is not a fairy tale for sleepless children, but reality. And then the women work three times as much, because they have a strong physical resistance ».

What do you think about the job of a waitress?
“I liked. Talking to customers, listening to them, offering them a positive experience and in some cases even making friends. It pushes you to overcome shyness and to use courage and social intelligence ».

And the out of tune notes?
“In a capitalist system, being a waitress is most of the time equivalent to working like a slave: exhausting shifts, poor pay, often non-existent contracts … Especially in Southern Italy, which is my home, illegal work and the exploitation of female workers almost seem like conditions included in the package of the average entrepreneur ».

On Instagram he also talked about harassment at work.
“In that field it was my being a working woman that bothered me. The sexism that revolves around the work of the waitress is strong ».

An episode that you remember?
“Once a customer didn’t have too much trouble trying to slip a bill into my t-shirt.”

What did it feel?
“The tips were important and making a lot of them meant taking home double your salary when you were lucky. We worked so hard and paid us so little that disgust for that violation only came at the end of the shift. For this I felt nothing ».

How did he react?
“I took the money out of his hands and continued to work.”

So is this what goes into a girl’s head?
«When you have to work twice as hard because your employers want to save on staff, and you have customers pressing to be served, you don’t think about how tired you are, how much you are suffering. And even if the humiliation strikes you, you cannot dwell on how violated or violated you feel in that instant ».

Otherwise what is the price to pay?
“You have a job to do, if you don’t do it well they’ll fire you. Simple. This is enough to make you forget the too long hands of a customer, or the word too much from another ».

If she had been a man this wouldn’t have happened, would it?
“Exactly. You can’t imagine projecting strip club sexual fantasies on a working man. According to a certain macho mentality, however, the maid is automatically associated with the role of the subordinate, the servant who is available for everything because she is “paid” ».

A retrograde culture.
«Nineteenth century: the client and the employers impose themselves as“ masters ”and not as equal people. Culturally, the woman is told as a being naturally predisposed to serve and heal the other: a client, a husband, a boyfriend or an employer. Thus the “waitress” becomes not only a job but almost a biological destiny paid little and often badly ».

An example?
«You know when a mother reiterates to her son or husband” I’m not your maid “? Here, it is precisely this type of imagination that we must fight ».

Did you also suffer discrimination for the color of your skin?
“Not particularly. When I worked as a waitress, no one cared that I was black, and I find it hard to admit it since in this society the concept of race makes the difference between life and death, hatred and inclusion. “

Is that so unusual?
“No, racism is like that, it makes strange movements between people, places and social contexts and reveals itself, or hides, when we least expect it.”

Why did you decide to quit that job?
“I felt exploited. I watched these people share an exorbitant income at the end of each shift, while we were treated patronizingly, like unwary children. It was unbearable, especially because the salary was passed off as a kind concession. ‘

What environment was it?
«I was surrounded by well-being, money was circulating under our noses but for some reason it didn’t reach us, even if we guaranteed that service that made customers come back. That’s why I came home frustrated, angry and tired. I realized I had had enough, and I gave up ».

A courageous choice, especially today.
“I know that many women cannot afford it, especially if they have children or, for example, have to renew their residence permit. I was reckless and lucky to have the opportunity to write. It was the love for my life project that pushed me to leave ».

Moral: writing saved her.
“Absolutely”.

What would you say to girls who would like to start being waitresses?
“Don’t be afraid to ask. In this society, women are not taught to ask, only to receive passively. A young woman who works, on the other hand, must demand justice, respect and safety in the workplace. You bring the wealth with your work. You are the machine: make it work so that it does not crush you and, finally, even the work of the waitress will no longer be synonymous with slavery ».