Elena Santarelli at Le Iene: “When my son was sick they made me feel dirty”

In Elena Santarelli’s withheld tears there is all the dignity of a parent who, in addition to the child’s illness, had to suffer accusations and prejudices. The 40-year-old showgirl from Latina (one of the seven presenters of the 2021 de Hyenas on Italia Uno together with Elodie, Paola Egonu, Elisabetta Canalis, Rocio Munoz Morales, Madame, Francesca Fagnani, Federica Pellegrini, Ornella Vanoni and Michela Giraud) yesterday 16 November from the stage of the program she spoke with an open heart in a touching monologue.

The words do not, however, retrace the suffering of little Giacomo, now 12, and his battle against a tumor that, after an operation and therapy, went into remission in 2019. The presenter, however, is keen to show everything that passed that pain through.

Here is the monologue: «Tonight I am not talking about my son’s illness, but about how to live again during and after the illness. I am ashamed of doing it, I have heard words that have made me feel dirty, like: “But how can you leave your son alone?”. I was ashamed to go back to work, to go out to dinner with my husband, even to go to the hairdresser when I heard another woman whisper: “What the fuck is Santarelli doing here? I would stay at home with a sick child“. And I would go back home, I immediately threw myself in the shower to cleanse myself of the dirt they had stuck on me. “You suck – I said to myself – what came to your mind?”. I scratched off the polish I had just put on my nails, because I felt bad about taking a piece of life for myself. Those looks, those words tell you that there is only one place you can stay: next to your child who is still being treated.

Those looks forbid you to be other than the disease. There is another thing that prevents you from returning to life: it is the sense of guilt for the luck you had, because so many friends you met in the hospital, mothers like me, today no longer have their children and I felt that luck. not to deserve it more than them. So I tried to hide my happiness but those mothers told me: “You don’t have to be ashamed.” And it is only thanks to them, to Valeria, Elena and Valentina, who did not condemn me but who were close to me, that I was able to go back to experiencing all my emotions. Today I am grateful that my men, Giacomo and Bernardo, are with me and I am grateful to have learned this lesson, one of the few that I can teach my female friends. Don’t feel dirty, don’t feel guilty, I felt like a wrong mother, but I don’t want to do it anymore and neither do you, don’t be afraid to go back to life ».