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Emily Ratajkowski reveals: “I blamed myself for the harassment I suffered”

The model Emily Ratajkowski at 30 she is a happy and fulfilled woman, both on the feelings side and on the career side. It is one of the highest paid supermodels to the world and last March it became mom for the first time. Of the little one Sylvester Apollo Bear, fruit of love with her husband, the film producer Sebastian Bear McClard.

But his past is also made up of sexual harassment who wanted to put pen to paper in theautobiography My Body, just premiered in New York (it will be released on the market on November 9). In the book, the model accuses, among other things, the musician Robin Thicke, who during the making of the video of Blurred Lines he would molest her, touching her breasts. For that episode, and other similar ones, Emily had come to blame herself. “I was wondering if I had encouraged the photographers who had tried it with me, or if I should have sued Thicke when, while shooting that video, he grabbed my breasts ». She rejected him, but when they asked her on set if she was okay she just replied «with a smile, to play down. I thought that, after all, he was the boss».

Emily didn’t even report “Owen, my first boyfriend, who abused me. When, some time later, I learned that he had been reported for rape by another girl, I wondered: Why did she have the courage and I didn’t? I wanted to be like her, but I blamed myself, my body “.

a beautiful body on which, as a teenager, he received “contradictory messages”: “My mother used to tell me:”Dress as you like, don’t care what people think “. When I was 13, she bought me a prom dress. It was blue, tight, I asked her: “Isn’t it too sexy?” And she: “No, you are wonderful”. Instead the teachers found it scandalous and threw me out of the dance. My mother found me in tears, humiliated and confused “.

Growing up, things didn’t improve. Emily began to try “Shame” for the “reactions it aroused” in her body: «When I started modeling, earning money with my beauty, it seemed like a form of revenge, but of course the situation was more complex than I thought ». Today he has a following of millions of people and, amidst advertising and campaigns, he has “earned more than my mother, an English teacher, and my father, a drawing teacher, could dream of in a lifetime.” But the truth “is that I felt exploited and belittled. On good days, when I felt judged only as a nice butt, I could dismiss those looks as sexist. On dark days, I hated myself and every decision made seemed to me a glaring mistake. At twenty, I didn’t understand that women who derive power from beauty owe that power to men they desire. They are in control, not us. ‘

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