Emotional vampires: guide to recognize, fight and defeat energy thieves

You can hardly identify it, as it hides well under the false guise of the helpful and brilliant person. But … he does not let people talk despite you wanting to tell, he demeans your successes and joys, gives unsolicited advice, as he believes he always knows what is best for the people around him and always looks for a good excuse to argue or to discuss.

It seems there‘identikit of someone you know? So, bad news: you are dealing (or have had) with a emotional vampire, or a person who feeds on your vital energy, leaving you exhausted and insecure, without you being able to realize it.

Real ones energy leeches, which must be recognized and stemmed as soon as possible, before their action leaves you without escape.

But how to do it? To learn how to counter their attacks, we consulted the experts of Guidapsicologi.it, who have prepared a guide to recognize, fight and defeat these negative people. Here it is, broken down by points and identikit: yes, because there is not only one type of emotional vampires.

Who are the emotional vampires?

Dr. spoke about it for the first time Albert J. Bernstein in his “Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry”: yes, you read that right, emotional vampires are the ones who drain you. Their identikit? They present themselves as bright and fascinating subjects, they generate trust and expectations towards them higher than normal. However, they do not take long to prove extremely critical, controlling, narcissistic, very negative and manipulative. All this because they are dissatisfied with who they are. Not only that: they tend to exploit and dominate others to have the necessary confirmation of their self-esteem or their work.

Make a note of the main features of their way of being and operating:

– They don’t take no for an answer. They are very manipulative people.
– Their ego is at the center. Because of their low self-esteem, they seek confirmation of their worth in other people. The important thing is to be noticed, positively or negatively.
– No one has worse problems than theirs. Conversations always revolve around their problems. They have no interest in listening and comforting others, nor in knowing their experience and their state of mind or physical.
– They are never wrong and they do not take responsibility for their own behavior, especially when it leads to negative consequences and place the burden and blame for their actions on others.
– They feel above the rules, both those of civil coexistence (queuing, respecting the speed limits, being punctual, respecting one’s turn …) and those of emotional relationships.

Are you just back from meeting an emotional vampire?

Have you spent time together and in the end, do you feel tired and unmotivated? Are you unable to enter the conversation because the other monopolizes it, unloading his frustrations on you? Is this attitude a constant? So, chances are you’ve stumbled upon an emotional vampire.

here are the signals to pay attention to:

– Feeling of stress e fatigue after the meeting (anxiety, nervousness, melancholy and yawning);
– Feeling of continuous dissatisfaction and discontent;
– Physical-muscular tension in his presence;
– Negative psychological pressure coming from outside;
– Feeling of limitation of their own freedom, obligation to be held accountable for one’s actions;
– State of confusion which prevents making decisions and causes errors in daily activities;
– Mental block which prevents you from making projects concerning love, study, work …

The 10 profiles of emotional vampires

Well yes, unfortunately there is not a single emotional vampire profile. And be careful, we will tell you more: pay attention why we can all turn into emotional vampires. This is why it is important to self-criticize and correct one’s behavior, always remembering that healthy relationships are based on exchange, affection and positivity.

1. The superior: he feels superior to anyone and takes pleasure in making others feel inferior, trying to subdue others in order to be able to feed on his attention.
2. The catastrophic: negative and surrounded by misfortunes, his goal is to attract the attention and energy of others to fill their shortcomings, leaving them drained and devoid of energy.
3. The envious: he belittles and despises others, and at the same time tries to attract people around him to manipulate and subdue, in order to gather confirmation and devotion.
4. The gossip: look at others so as not to look inside yourself. Capture the attention of others with gossip that insinuates doubts and uncertainties.
5. The irascible: sows anger around him and attracts people, leading them to share his bad mood, made of hatred and complaints, giving life to an environment of anger and dissatisfaction.
6. The controller: Affected by the mania of control, both of himself and of others: he does not trust anyone.
7. The profiteer: he makes himself completely available and compliant, his weapon is passivity, because what he does is subtly take possession of the ideas and merits of others.
8. The moralist: he uses blackmail and moral judgment, thanks to which he gives life to a group of followers who can always offer him attention and confirm his work.
9. The talkative: long captures the attention of its victims, who hardly find space in conversation. He takes out his frustration on others, stealing all energy.
10. The hypochondriac: to focus on himself care and attention that otherwise he would not know how to earn, he relies on feelings of concern and compassion.

How to protect yourself from an emotional vampire?

A few simple rules, but to keep in mind, to avoid being victims of an emotional vampire. Because yes, in the long run, the consequences, if you don’t realize it right away, could be disastrous on the psyche. Here they are:

1. Set limits: they are a protection that prevents toxic people from manipulating us.
2. Keep calm: they are provocative, able to lose control, to be defeated with rationality.
3. To smile: they love to involve others in their malaise, the smile discourages manipulation.
4. No drama: in order not to succumb to the emotional vampire, just don’t play his game. Avoid getting involved: no to arguments, no to sorrows, and don’t believe everything he says.
5. Step away: is the healthiest choice. A balanced relationship cannot be established who is unaware of the pain it causes in others. It is very rare that there is a change in their way of being and acting.