Di Marco, the child he was, keeps his large and penetrating eyes. Of what he had in common with his father, to whom he resembled “terribly”, however, he made sure that nothing remained.
Eva Carieri, today, is an elegant woman with a delicate face. In a calm tone, she tells of a difficult transition path, of experiences so dramatic as to break her voice. But also of glorious moments, friendships and deep loves. The ones she described in her book, “Eva. The price of ambition “, just released by Scientific Humanistic Editions. And those who brought her back from where she, very young, she left, from Palermo, her city, where she is now candidate for the city council for the next administrative, those of 12 June.
She has also decided to enter politics for women with a similar path to hers. “When I got back, I found it a Palermo with many difficulties. Here, transgender women have a low level of education and tend to live almost as if they were ghettoized, “he explains. It happens because “we have no choice. Humiliated, marginalized, many have given up going to school. The trans of my generation do not have cultural tools, of dialogue. They can only aspire to low profile professions ».
Did you also stop going to school early?
“I was a homosexual kid then. It was difficult to be part of the school environment. During that time, I had to take care of all my primary needs, of building myself. And only now, finally, I am working on my career, a sector that, until now, has been closed to me. I changed several jobs, but my true path of redemption went through attending a hairdressing course ».
Her family did not support her.
“I had a monster as a father. He beat my mother, me and my sisters. He had an overbearing sexuality, which he had to show off even in front of his children, considered three waiters at his service. He continually emphasized that we were a burden, he made me sleep on the street ».
And what kind of relationship did he have with his mother?
«Conflict, even with her. These dysfunctional relationships led me to doom, to drug addiction, to the sidewalk. I consider myself alive by a miracle. I left home when I was in the fifth year of high school, and after all I think that, if I had been accepted, I would now have graduated and would have lived another kind of life ».
When did she realize she was a woman in a man’s body?
“When I was little, I didn’t feel like a girl. First of all, the aesthetic interventions I did were aimed at diversifying myself from my father, whose features I had, and not so much at filling a gender-related dysmorphophobia. I had more than anything else the need to cancel my genetic patrimony ».
So, right from the start, she didn’t feel the need to look like a woman.
“I didn’t really know what was happening to me: around 16-17, when I started dating gay and trans, I had a great need for aesthetic satisfaction, but I found only squalor, prostitution and drugs. I had never considered the idea of becoming trans, because I knew that many of them, here, made terrible ends ».
For example?
“I think of Nancy. She lives in Palermo in the 1980s. She falls in love with a man from a mafia family, and he reciprocates her sentiment of her, so much so that he introduces her to her family. She that she, however, she feels dishonored. Nancy is kidnapped and hugged, impaled with a stick, doused with gasoline. Her body, which is set on fire, ends up abandoned in the landfill. Her corpse is unrecognizable: her mother recognized her only from her toes. The terror of such an end took me away from the thought of transition ».
And when did you begin to consider it?
«When I moved to Florence my first real attempt at feminization began. It was the 90s: the most elegant and chic trans women lived there and had built a life in this city: I too began to see some possibilities. Then I landed in Bologna ».
Because?
«To reach the goal of the intervention you need a lot of money, and Bologna was the most important square for trans. Even if there were the most dangerous ones. I manage to get into the tour thanks to Victoria, who invites me, on condition that I participate in the “hunt for the Brazilian girls”, a night patrol to remove them. I accept, without imagining what I would have seen. With lots of sticks, we start a relentless fight, then the knives take the place of the clubs. We were risking our lives. A hell of blood, severed prostheses that slid to the ground, punches and kicks. In that turbulent period I met Ingrid ».
Who was?
“A shemale with a strong influence, who wore a very expensive coat, and was treacherous. She drove around with car and driver, and robbed customers of her. I was fascinated, we fell madly in love, and she decided we should work together. A crazy and intense period: we were two men and two women together, everything and nothing. Our story then ends amid threats, and I learn that, in reality, she was not the skilled thief we all believed. Rather, it was her “money slave” customers who enjoyed getting their money tapped. Ingrid and I, however, together we had raised a lot of money, and when our story was learned, many others tried to do the same ».
Were there other all-encompassing loves?
“A man, Rodrigo, with whom I stayed for three years. But it was an increasingly toxic relationship, mediated by ecstasy, of which we continually increased the doses. He blamed me for not having an operation yet. When we broke up, however, I went into depression. And the dark period lasted until I met a woman, Andrea, very blond, with an overwhelming smile. She had moved into the apartment next to mine and, together with her sisters, she had transformed the place downstairs into a night club ».
How was your love story?
“She was a lesbian girl, to me the most gallant person ever known, the kind who make you find roses next to your bed. Sexually, however, we were not compatible. But we never attacked each other, never hurt each other: we took each other by the hand and helped, trusting each other. In that period I began to frequent athletes and important personalities: Andrea had given me back to the world, and I felt beautiful. But then the Elkann case exploded. ‘
And what happened?
“We trans became objects of curiosity and investigation, and I felt in danger. I hid in the country house of a trans friend, Patty. And I started a normal life. Until I got a call from my mom, which I haven’t heard for years. “I have to apologize for the way I treated you. I have a brain tumor, ”she told me. At that moment I reassessed all my priorities, returned to Bologna and began detoxification. I literally threw away everything superfluous, from jewelry to clothing. And I went to meet my mother ».
A reconciliation with his family?
“Unfortunately, everything around her, nothing had changed. My sister asked me to cover myself, not to be seen too much. At Mom’s funeral I was not calculated by anyone: they considered me a deviant sodomite. I went back to Patty, my real family. Together we had left all the crap behind. She was an accountant, I was a hairdresser, eager for a normal life. But I didn’t know that I would soon lose her too ».
Because?
“She had managed to get an honest job as an accountant in a cookie company, and get the name changed on the papers. She wanted the surgery so badly. She had surgery by a doctor who used a technique developed by himself, which preserved a testicle to ensure a complete sex life. The surgery seemed to have gone well. But Patty soon metastasized, only to die of cancer after six months. The same fate befell all the other patients of that surgeon. My world fell apart again. Destroyed, alone again, I realized that I too was ready for the big step, for the intervention ».
When did it happen?
«It was 2008. I left for a week’s vacation, alone, in Barcelona. Then I flew to Bangkok for the vaginoplasty surgery. And, when I returned, only then was I truly free, free from all evil ».
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Source: Vanity Fair
