Father's Day: the best gift? Parental leave for all fathers

This article on Father's Day is published in issue 12 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until March 19, 2024.

«When my son was born, according to Italian law I was not his father but, thanks to my company, I was able to become his father». Year 2019, Nicola Gliatta, 45 years old, Roman, programmer at Warner Bros. Discovery, happily awaits the birth of Martino. Her husband, Mattia Zecca, is the biological parent but, being a lawyer, can only benefit from minimal protection granted by the legal profession. So Nicola asks the human resources director for an interview, and receives a hug: the company gets to work to guarantee him, and all the employees about to become caregiver secondary parents (fathers or partners in same-sex couples), three months of parental leave paid at 100 percent. The gratitude is great, but the bitterness remains: “It's a shame that the private sector has to replace the State”, says Mattia, the lawyer, “for the institutions we are invisible”.

Nicola, Mattia and their two children.

In a sense, in Italy, all fathers, whether heterosexual or homoemotional, are invisible: to date, they benefit from only 10 days of leave for the birth of a child, less than the 15 expected for marriage, much less than the five months guaranteed to mothers. Fortunately, however, there are companies, such as Warner Bros. Discovery, Nespresso, Coop, Barilla and many others, who have decided to run where the laws struggle to walk. That is, towards equality. Why allowing both parents to share the first months of the newborn rebalances the household load and makes everyone happy: men who can finally valorise the paternal role, women who no longer feel alone, couples who see harmony increase and friction diminish. Word of those who have been there.

In an era in which there is much discussion about absent fathers, Sophie HarrisTaylor in the Present Fathers project has immortalized the...

In an era where there is so much discussion about absent fathers, Sophie Harris-Taylor in the project Present Fathers he immortalized the beauty of being there, here and now. In a series of father-son shots, the photographer explores the facets of fatherhood, including the frustration of often feeling invisible.

Sophie Harris-Taylor

Davide Catenacci, 41 years old, Milanese, father of three children, took the leave offered by the company when Eva was born: «With the other two children I felt guilty leaving the house in the morning. I felt like I was abandoning my family in a difficult situation. I kept thinking, “Let's hope everything goes well today.” With Eva I was at home, my wife could count on me, and I was calmer.” Gaja, his wife, confirms: «There were much less tensions between us. When you are on maternity leave and alone, you also develop a sense of envy towards your partner who goes to work: because he can switch off, you can't.. And when he comes home tired in the evening, you feel like complaining: “Would you like to try mine for the day?”. Sharing eliminates any hatred and enhances complicity.”

Davide with his daughter Eva.

Davide with his daughter Eva.

And also the sense of justice, as Elena Santambrogio, vice president of human resources at Warner Bros. Discovery explains: «We believe that parenthood is everyone's right. We guarantee leave because it is the right thing, for fathers and mothers who, finally, are starting to see the decline of the so-called child penalty, that is, the drastic downsizing of careers and salaries of workers returning from maternity leave. I myself was a victim of it; after my second child I had an interview with a famous head hunter who, when I asked him to try new professional challenges, replied: “You are no longer part of the manager category, you are part of the mothers category”.

Elena Santambrogio Vice President of Human Resources Warner Bros. Discovery.

Elena Santambrogio, Vice President of Human Resources Warner Bros. Discovery.

Breaking down these obsolete models of thought is one of the objectives of Lia Quartapelle. On the occasion of Father's Day, the Democratic Party deputy is preparing a bill that provides for the equalization of parental leave: “We would like to guarantee all parents, regardless of their work position, five months paid at 100 percent”. Cost of the maneuver: 4.5 billion euros. «This is a transformative measure, which would represent the figure of the next budget law, which we will begin to think about from mid-April. Of course, electorally it is a less profitable move than breaking the funds into many small donations, such as the nursery bonus for the second child or the exemption from contributions for working mothers. But the scope is revolutionary and I do not exclude that a prime minister like Giorgia Meloni could be in favor: she is a single mother first, she knows well the difficulties of reconciling home and work.”

Lia Quartapelle, Democratic Party deputy.

Lia Quartapelle, Democratic Party deputy.

To ascertain the feasibility of Quartapelle's proposal, just look abroad: in Finland, before resigning, Sanna Marin extended the baby leave to 160 days for both parents. In Sweden, each parent is entitled to 12 months to share with their partner, but two months each is mandatory. In Spain, both mothers and fathers have 16 weeks paid at 100 percent. Martina Gianecchini, professor of Personnel Management at the Cuoa Business School and the University of Padua, responds to the objection that Italy is mainly made up of small and medium-sized businesses that would struggle to replace new fathers: «If the policy covered the direct cost of the individual employee's salary, companies would only be left with the indirect cost of work reorganization. It would involve investing in the training of the figure who replaces the father on leave or in the distribution of his tasks to others. On the other hand, the advantages would be numerous: first of all, the attractiveness in a job market in which talents are contested and in which young people weigh company values ​​before accepting a hiring offer. Furthermore, exactly as they say that “motherhood is a master's degree” – because caring for a child involves the acquisition of very useful skills even in the world of work -, the same could now be said of fatherhood.”

Martina Gianecchini director of the Master in Human Resources at Cuoa Business School and professor at the University of Padua.

Martina Gianecchini, director of the Master in Human Resources at Cuoa Business School and professor at the University of Padua.

Simona Liguoro, director of human resources at Nespresso, confirms: «Fathers who return from leave are better professionals: more efficient, organized, multitasking and even more empathetic. For the first time they put themselves in women's shoes, they understood their struggles and attributed greater dignity to the domestic workload. Plus, staying at home, they learned to delegate.” Excellent conditions for solidarity between colleagues. Liguoro continues: «The three months that we offer are an opportunity for everyone. For those who take them and for those who remain who, called to test themselves in different activities, can seize the chance of career advancement. For the company, which strengthens the gratitude of its employees, and even for the country because, together with welfare, paternity leave is a fundamental tool to stem the decline in the birth rate. There are countless colleagues who stop me to say: even if the company where my husband works granted the baby leaveI would have another child». No hiccups at an organizational level, no drop in production? “Nobody. When they ask me “but how do you do it?”, I answer: exactly like we do when a woman goes on maternity leave».

Simona Liguoro human resources director of Nespresso.

Simona Liguoro, human resources director of Nespresso.

And just like women who go on maternity leave, fathers who benefit from leave find themselves “displaced”. Matteo Mangione, 43 years old, Florentine, father of four, of which the last, Zaira, arrived in 2022, tells it: «I always thought that, in the first year of life, my role was almost useless. I had to think again: during the baby leave I learned to read my daughter's eyes, I looked at her and sensed what she needed, just like my wife knows how to do. And I also understood more about her: when the evening comes exhausted now I know why». Jenny, her wife, thanks: «Since we shared this experience, Matteo's presence has become fundamental, today for me a difficult day is a day in which he is not there, before loneliness was the norm. My friends look at me with envy.”

Matteo and Zaira.

Matteo and Zaira.

Healthy envy for what today is unfortunately still only a privilege of a few is often mixed with other feelings, which lead fathers on leave to have to justify themselves to relatives and acquaintances. There are those who, bewildered, ask them: “Are you staying at home instead of your partner?”. Who jokes: “I wonder if someone will do your shoes while you change diapers.” Who expresses deeper concerns. It happened to Giulio Piccinini, 40 years old, from Bergamo, boutique area manager of Nespresso: «When I stayed next to my wife after Lorenzo's birth, my grandfather was very worried. 90 year old, former bricklayer used to getting up at 4 in the morning and coming home late at night, he thought they had fired me. Every afternoon she said the rosary and included a prayer for me to be rehired. My grandmother, on the other hand, feared that by not working I would become a lazy boy. It took a while to convince them that my place was safe and that fatherhood hadn't made me lazy, on the contrary: it was one of the most beautiful and tiring experiences of my life. It's like having a switch always on. The reward, however, is enormous: of my first daughter, Sofia, born seven years ago, I missed precious moments. I was in the office and my wife sent me videos of her smiles, baths, baby food. I experienced these things with Lorenzo, and he immediately recognized me and trusted me.” Daniela, Giulio's wife, adds: «It is no coincidence that our son's first word was: dad».

Giulio and Lorenzo.

Giulio and Lorenzo.

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Source: Vanity Fair

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