Do you remember Julia Roberts that in “If you run away, I’ll marry you” did he flee as soon as he approached the altar? Here, maybe he suffered from gamophobia. In fact, Gamo in Greek means “wedding”, while phobia we all know that it means fear. Therefore, “Fear of marriage”.
Which doesn’t mean being afraid to commit to someone – gamophobics have been engaged for years – but just not wanting to get married. The question then arises: why should one be afraid of getting married? What are the causes of this phobia? Can anyone suffer from gamophobia? Are there any differences between men and women? We talked about it with the experts of Guidapsicologi.it, who explained to us how to recognize if it is just an irrational fear or if behind this phobia there are real doubts and little desire to get married, even with some suggestions to overcome it.
What is gamophobia?
«Gamophobia is the fear of ‘Yes, I do’, or the irrational fear of getting married. This does not mean that the person suffering from this phobia is not able to have a stable and lasting partner (in this case we are talking about philophobia, fear of falling in love), but that when approaching, or simply at the thought of marriage, is born this irrational fear “.
Why should anyone be afraid of getting married? What are the causes?
“As with all phobias, the causes of gamophobia can be very different, but among the most frequent we can find:
● Having lived a precedent traumatic divorce, one of the most common causes. Our experiences have a lot to do with our decision-making process, which is why a previous divorce with negative consequences can be one of the causes of the development of gamophobia. It is not necessary to have experienced this traumatic divorce firsthand: having seen someone around us go through such vicissitudes or have experienced the consequences of a traumatic parental divorce can also be the cause of the development of this phobia.
● Most of the feedback we receive from society has led us to associate marriage withtaking on more responsibility, the duty to have children, the limitation of our individual “freedom” … This erroneous association can be one of the most frequent causes of gamophobia.
● Have a low self-esteem, or an irrational fear of maturing can be other causes of gamophobia ».
Are there gender differences?
“As regards the differentiation between men and women, rather than gender difference, it is rather a differentiation with regard to the social role that women and men occupy within society. This phobia can affect both men and women alike. Despite this, traditionally gamophobia has had higher incidence in men, probably due to the social pressure that has historically been exerted on the figure of man within marriage.
Although there is a long way to go, these roles are changing, but traditionally men were concerned with the financial support of the family, and this brings with it a great load of responsibility. The higher incidence in men is also related to greater emotional immaturity or well-known “Peter Pan Syndrome”, or the inability of a person to assume the obligations of adulthood.
The incidence of this phobia in women has increased in recent years, a phenomenon which is again linked to the social role. Traditionally, women were considered to be completely dependent on a man, were socially submissive, and were “forced” through social pressure to marry.
Now that women are breaking away from this role of being dependent on a man, the incidence of gamophobia among women is increasing, as they see in marriage the end of their freedoms.
Finally, it should be noted that as the female role has changed, so the family model has changed, which we no longer interpret as just male-female. Therefore, it is necessary to emphasize that when it comes to phobias we cannot generalize, but we must know the history of the subject thoroughly to make a good analysis and, if necessary, proceed with a therapeutic path».
Gamophobia: irrational fear or real doubts and little desire to get married?
«The symptoms of a phobia can be different and manifest themselves to a greater or lesser extent depending on the person. But if you want to know if your partner doesn’t want to get married or if it’s really gamophobia, these signals they might give you clues:
● Gives elusive answers, avoiding situations close to marriage or conversation related to the topic.
● Avoid talking about marriage and when asked directly, he usually doesn’t know the reasons why he doesn’t want to get married.
● Presents symptoms such as sweating, trembling, crying, dizziness… in the face of marriage-related conversations or situations, such as other people’s weddings.
The most important thing, if you suspect that you suffer from gamophobia (or that your partner is suffering from it), is to contact a professional for diagnosis and treatment “.
Solutions to overcome gamophobia
Here are a few recommendations generals to overcome gamophobia and try to lose the fear of the fateful “Yes, I do!”:
● Talk about it together: When phobia is identified, it is advisable to talk to the partner about the problem, in order to strengthen the relationship and establish stronger and stronger bonds of trust. In some cases it is recommended to resort to couple therapy.
● Progressively expose yourself to marriage: For example, talking to married people about how life has changed after the wedding and what the pros and cons are.
● Identify the differences between being married or not: Dialogue continues to be central.
● Identify the individual needs of the couple: Reaching partnership agreements where these needs continue to be met once the marriage has been contracted.
● Review expectations regarding marriage: That is to work on our fear of failure and accept that marriage can be “forever” or until our needs change.
Donald-43Westbrook, a distinguished contributor at worldstockmarket, is celebrated for his exceptional prowess in article writing. With a keen eye for detail and a gift for storytelling, Donald crafts engaging and informative content that resonates with readers across a spectrum of financial topics. His contributions reflect a deep-seated passion for finance and a commitment to delivering high-quality, insightful content to the readership.
