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How and why sex after 50 (and even 60) can be great

The latest celebrity to have openly addressed the subject is sata Heather Paris. Recently, the American-born dancer and showgirl posted a post on her Instagram profile, revealing that she had discovered a new dimension of eros at a mature age. “My sex life at 60 is a continuous crescendo,” writes Heather. «Today is a ‘tantric’ experience that allows my body and mind to free themselves, to experience deep, intense sensations, to completely love me and the person next to me».

But Heather Parisi was not the only one to boast the benefits and strengths of sex over 50. Before her, Maria Grazia Cucinotta had already expressed herself, pointing out that «Sex at 50 is more beautiful than before. Because there is more intimacy, more complicity. And also because you don’t get paranoid about a stretch mark, like at 30. You let yourself go and enjoy the love “and even Christine Lagarde, answering a question from the monthly Elle France she had revealed: “My husband says I make him absolutely happy in bed. And that finds me sublime “, adding:” I want to reiterate the concept: at 50 and even beyond you can be extraordinarily happy, and from all points of view … mental, physical and sexual “.

Because more and more women today find a new erotic vigor precisely in mature age, after menopause, no longer experienced as the moment that marks the “collapse” of female seductiveness, but as a physiological phase of transition that can offer new opportunities on the relationship front. Also sexual, of course.

Theory of the rediscovery of sexuality in the second part of female life is Tracy Cox, British sexpert, author of numerous manuals on eroticism, including the new one Great sex starts at 50, dedicated to sexuality in mature age.

“You can experience sex in an amazing way even from the age of 50, but you have to adapt your thinking and face the inevitable emotional and physical changes”, commented the sexologist at the publication of the expected volume. “My book covers a myriad of topics: from weak erections to menopause, from lack of desire to not feeling sexy, to being single in the second half of your life. But there is a theme that runs through all these things and it is what can be done, in practice, for desire to resist age ».

For the book, Tracy Cox interviewed hundreds of women and they all reported the same type of age-related problems: weight gain, bodies no longer the same after children, various pains, menopause problems, wrinkles. Yet some had sex regularly and with pleasure while others had stopped doing it or found the issue of aging so depressing that they avoided it as much as possible. There was self-acceptance on the one hand and self-contempt on the other. Obviously, the most satisfied were the women who thought: “Sure, my body isn’t what it used to be, so what? I feel sexy, so what’s the deal?“.
“Many women love to grow old,” said Tracy Cox in an interview with Daily Mail, explaining that “they feel safer, care less about what people think and more about what they really want. They have time to re-explore sex, get a little more adventurous, try something new. There are advantages in aging, aspects on which it is better to focus ».

The main suggestions that Tracy Cox offers in her manual can be translated into “pills” of sexual and psychological well-being aimed at women. Here, therefore, are the aspects to focus on.

Sexuality at a young age is no better, it’s just a different style. Bodies change as we age, lives change, what we want from life changes. You don’t want to do the same things you did when you were 20, and you certainly don’t want the kind of sex you were having then. «Sex over 50 is gentler sex, practiced without haste, less focused on penetration. One of the reasons older couples report greater sexual satisfaction is that they slow down and spend more time in foreplay, ”Cox explains.

Pleasant sexual experiences make us feel more comfortable with the body. «If our partner clearly likes to make love to us, it means that our body is not that bad! It’s a win-win scenario: the more comfortable you are with your body, the better the sex ». Which makes it an even more desirable experience and with positive implications on your image.

Sex strengthens our immune systems, reduces stress and improves memory. And these are just the physical benefits. «Regular sex brings pleasure to our lives and increases the production of oxytocin, the good mood hormone, promoting trust, intimacy and bonding. It makes us feel less depressed and more positive in general, increasing self-esteem and confidence ». But how much sex does it take to reap all these benefits? “Once a week is enough. Moreover, “sex” does not mean intercourse, it means above all orgasm. And this is an objective that can also be reached through self-eroticism ».

There are people who feel “abstinent” if they have sex only once a week, others who have pleasant sexual encounters twice a year and still find their erotic life highly satisfying. “I know many long-time couples over 50 who have sex every two months and would be filled with indignation if I labeled their relationship as ‘asexual’ or ‘sexually weak’. The right amount of sex for both of you has nothing to do with how often you do it but instead has to do with what makes you both happy. Yes, weekly sex is great, physically and emotionally. But if this is not your rhythm, don’t worry: there is no “normal” frequency: there is only what works for you! ».

“Exercising will not only keep you healthy and looking good, but it will also increase blood flow, which is key to keeping your genitals healthy and responsive. It is also important for our brain: exercise increases the production of dopamine, which is essential for cognitive function. It also strengthens muscles, improves circulation and boosts mood. In short: stay active outside to be active also inside the bed ».

Some women have a strong reaction to the concept of seductiveness and hate the idea of ​​having to conform to certain clichés as they get older. Moreover, it is not necessary. «Give a personal touch to your concept of“ sexy ”. Whether it is taking care of your body through exercise and eating well so that your skin shines, rather than loading yourself with make-up and locking yourself in a pair of skinny jeans ».

Masturbation is the best and easiest way to stay sexually fit. «Practice it. Much. Just recharge your vibrator or buy one and start accumulating as many orgasms as you can! When you don’t have regular orgasms, your blood vessels deform, making pleasure more difficult. If we don’t want to lose it entirely, let’s make sure we have at least one a week from now on! “

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