How I got out of the dark

This article is published in issue 2-3 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until January 19, 2021

When Gianluca Picariello chose “Ghemon»As a stage and fighting name (inspired by the thief of a great manga comic), he did not know that he would really become a samurai. Certainly not aloof and shy like Lupine III’s accomplice in kimono. But just like him, taken by a constant and grim being absorbed, a grinding of the soul that led him through duels and transformations: embracing hip hop and then messing up its syntax and aesthetics.

Finding your external appearance and then going over it a thousand times over. Recognize depression and overcome it (he tells it in the autobiography published by HarperCollins). Reject his voice and finally let it out all together, vibrant and without jaws. With six very different records in his assets and a participation in the next Sanremo Festival just announced (the song is called Perfect Moment), at 38, Ghemon spends his days sharpening his sword. And no defeat, no darkness, it will become more harakiri.

In Sanremo there will be Orietta Berti. What do you know about her?
“Not so much, I admit. But by raping I learned to respect those with ten-year careers. I remember that in Sanremo, two years ago, I found myself sitting next to Nino D’Angelo, who wanted to cover me with advice. As true southerners, I from Avellino and he from Naples, in the end we were practically related ».

His is one of those slightly forgotten cities. Nobody says: tomorrow I’m going on a trip to Avellino.
“Because the competition is high in the neighborhood, including lesser-known places like Benevento. And then you know, an earthquake almost destroyed it. But the nature around is wonderful, you live well, and when Avellino played in Serie A they came from all over the South to see him: players like Juary, Barbadillo and Dirceu, in the scale of my affections, come immediately after their parents and grandparents ” .

Was it a curve boy?
«I lived a few meters from the stadium and the sports hall, and I frequented the stands quite a lot. Even away, behind a banner created with my friends: 0825 FANS. It was a sense of belonging, a form of aggregation. Then, slowly, I left ».

How did your day start today?
“I trained, then I drank coffee. I work out twice a week, use water boxes, my girlfriend’s yoga mat for my abs, and a makeshift exercise bike bought before lockdown. My sport trip is ancient, and I only gave it up in certain dark times, when I didn’t mind so much. I like the repetition that leads to perfection, the sacrifice that leads to momentum, as they teach in basketball. The story of my life is this. Take one step at a time ».

Did it work with depression too?
“Yup. He comes out recognizing the problem. And then putting one day in line with the other, looking for the reasons, and humbly realizing the signs that risk reopening that dark door. Two years ago I weighed forty kilos more, I was disordered in food and habits: now, as soon as I lose my discipline, I understand that something is wrong in my head and I get back on track. For a while I also got help from medicines, and when they prescribed them I felt broken, full of shame. Then I realized that it’s not the chemistry that heals you, but it can be an important crutch. They should be taken under the supervision of a specialist and stopped when the doctor decides. Doing your own thing is a serious mistake ».

Who in those moments can only say “come on, react”, is he right or makes it too easy?
“Both things. It is not sadness, which is thrown away with a shake. But I repeat: the will, the discipline, are everything ».

Can you write songs without pain?
“Yup. And I learned this too with dedication and method: there cannot be only the great passions, or the disappointments of love, to fuel the music. It is necessary to know how to turn to reality, write down something read and seen, and find a more sophisticated access to inspiration. The songs are butterflies, but the net to catch them trains every day. You don’t need to destroy yourself to make a great record ».

Meanwhile, for a year, she hasn’t cut her hair anymore.
“Sideburns aside, which I fix myself. Finally I look in the mirror and see the reflection I imagined a year ago. It’s me. Exactly as I was before the dark period began. A circle has come full circle and I have returned to the starting point. With years of experience and more awareness ».

For a long time he looked like Blade Runner’s Rutger Hauer.
“I’ve been transforming myself ever since I was a kid. And it was often a way of hiding. The fans tell me that if there were no social networks to keep them updated, seeing me go up on stage, sometimes they would not recognize me ».

Is it true that at the beginning of your career, when you put the melody in the verses of rap songs, they gave you “fennel”?
“Sure, true. Also for how I dressed. But I went hard and challenged them: on the cover of my first record I wore a sweater and was lying on a lawn: pure rap blasphemy. They took the piss out of me. But I was fighting a machismo that I didn’t like ».

What sore do you think you have stuck your finger in?
«I broke the boxes to certain rigidities of hip hop, giving it musical fluidity. And I was already touring with the band when it was practically forbidden in the environment. For this I took insults, but I was not afraid. And I think I have opened a new path, although I have not always been recognized. The rest, future generations will do “.

ALL’ARISTON – Gianluca Picariello, aka Ghemon, 38 years old. He will participate in the next Sanremo Festival with the song Perfect Moment.

Photo Martina Amoruso

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