How to deal with grief if you have lost your pet

Those who have never had pets in their life tend to minimize the pain that follows the death of a dog, cat or any other adopted, cared for and loved animal. But the truth is that the suffering for the mourning of our animal friends is great, very great, as well as the sense of bewilderment and despondency. As various experts confirm, often the pain for the death of a pet is equivalent in all respects to what one feels when losing a loved one. And so, how to live the phase following the death of our animal friend? We asked an expert the question.

How to manage your pet’s mourning phase

As confirmed by the Dr. Elisa Stefanati, psychotherapist at the Quisisana clinic of Ferrara, ​”the pain associated with the loss of a pet is too often underestimated and belittled. And it’s a big mistake, because that between man and the adopted animal is a special bond, which grows and takes up space in everyday life, getting very intimate. Do you think that a recent American study investigated the main causes of depression in a sample of people and those interviewed indicated, among the top 5 reasons for depression, the loss of a loved one and the disappearance of one’s pet. The animal is a silent presence, which exists regardless of how the human being feels. The love of a dog or a cat is one of unconditional acceptance of our characteristics and moods. The tragedy is that the life span of pets is inherently extremely short when compared to that of a man. For this reason, sooner or later (always too soon) anyone who decides to share their life with a four-legged friend will have to face the mourning of the loss of him ». At this point we understand how to manage the phase following the loss of your pet. «Surround yourself with empathetic people, able to provide you with support, primarily in terms of listening, presence and hospitality. It can be helpful, for the first few times after the death, to remember the animal with photo albums and perhaps dedicated posts on social networks, which in a certain way create continuity with the before and after and honor the great feeling that bound you. Life needs rituals. This is why I always recommend greeting your animal friend with a funeral rite that can facilitate the passage and acceptance, and that sometimes it is essential to be able to let it go. Only invite people who are truly able to grasp the value of this ritual to this intimate funeral, which is equivalent in all respects to the official farewell from the animal. A few loved ones can suffice, those who have known your pet and know what it meant for you to lose it. Waiting for the pain to subside and maybe you can even develop the idea of ​​adopting a new 4-legged companion, evaluate whether to store away (or give away) the objects that belonged to your animal friend, from the kennel to the bowls. If, on the other hand, you prefer to proceed one piece at a time, while still keeping the animal’s reference points at home, don’t force yourself to do otherwise. In general, remember that you are not obliged to give explanations to anyone: whether you want to let a new pet into the house immediately or not, it is your choice alone and no one can comment and judge it. One last tip: immediately get away from people who tend to dismiss the fact with banal or sarcastic jokes like “come on, it was just a cat”».

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