How to make friends in the office after the long period of smart working

Going back to work face-to-face after months and months of working from home is turning out to be a nice change. Whether you are back in the office five days a week, are still smart working or are juggling different roles (you multitasking Generation Z), one thing is certain: the way you work has changed enormously due to the pandemic.

But one of the changes nobody talks about is there loneliness. A recent survey found that workplace loneliness affects Generation Z young workers more than those of other age groups: 1 in 4 suffer from it and 44% admit they have no friends in the office. Throw in remote work and new hires starting to work with people they’ve never met in real life, and it’s no wonder the problem of loneliness at work is having a major impact on mental health.

“Even if it’s not basic having friends at work is certainly much more enjoyable than not having them, “says psychologist Audrey Tang, author of The Leader’s Guide to Resilience, “Research has shown that friends at work can become a community, people you can turn to in times of stress who really understand you.”

This is important, notes the psychologist, because it means that our colleagues can support us when we have concerns at work with more targeted advice than our friends or partners who do not do the same job do not fully understand it.

“If we consider that we spend most of our day in the office, we easily understand that this is where we have the most opportunities to build friendships,” adds the psychologist.

But if you’ve just been hired or if your social skills are a little rusty after eighteen months of lockdown (and it’s understandable), here are Audrey Tang’s tips for making friends at work.

The four-step guide to making friends:

1. Offer your help – for example at events or in other places where you might meet people who take care of the organization, and have fun too.
2. Take advantage of all the occasions when you organize something at work, such as gymnastics classes, painting or even in the gym.
3. Try to bring the conversation to more personal topics like family or hobbies rather than what you saw on TV the night before.
4. Accept invitations – even if you’re not sure you’ll have fun.

Use active positive responses when chatting

If you want to prolong the conversation or have a deeper dialogue, pay attention to how you respond to the people you try to make friends with.

• Active positive response: “This is really interesting, how / where / when do you do it?”
• Passive positive response (which closes the conversation): “This is really interesting, thanks for telling me.”
• Active destructive reaction (guarantee not to make friends, as long as it doesn’t cause problems): “This is a stupid question, why are you asking me?”

Master the art of listening

Similarly, active listening involves interacting with what you are told: you can ask questions, take notes or repeat what they just said to the interlocutors in other words, to make sure you understand correctly. There are four listening levels:

• Distracted listening: when one thinks of something else and receives little or nothing.
• Listening: when you are perhaps able to repeat part of the speech but without necessarily having understood its meaning.
• Active listening: when interacting with information, opening up to receive many more.
• Deep listening: almost a listening between the lines, but this level is usually reserved for professionals such as psychotherapists, psychologists, teachers, lawyers.

Pay attention to your friendships

This applies to any type of relationship in life. Ask yourself what values ​​you want to find in other people and what you are not willing to accept. Then think about what values ​​you want them to recognize in you, and focus on embodying those values, making your choices accordingly.

Maybe try to think of your friends outside of work and ask yourself: “With which of them am I more myself”? Including this, try to understand why, what those people have that makes you feel good, and then look for those qualities in your colleagues. When you find them, try to be to them what they are to you.