Is it possible to regulate the sex? Can it be a stimulus to decide at the table how many times to do it or, on the contrary, can it create friction? Well, there is a way to have one sexuality healthier and more fulfillingstarting right from the self discoveryregardless of gender, age, past, present or future sexual experiences.
There meditation it is a tool that can help you to live moments of intimacy with serenity, thanks to a path that teaches you to awaken the senses, rediscovering pleasure and sexual desire. In this regard, it was created “Conscious sexuality”the new meditation program of Petit BamBouwhich accompanies in an analysis of changes in sexual behavior (also) following the Covid-19 pandemic.
A published research of the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University (USA) showed how restrictions have redesigned people’s intimate lives. The rules of social distancing in fact have imposed limits on sex, but, as a consequence, they have also created new ones chance. While about half of the respondents reported a decrease in sexual activity, one in five users reported having expanded their erotic repertoire to include new practices, including sexting, new sexual positions and the sharing of fantasies.
In relation to the quality of sexual life, 43.5% reported a decline, while the rest reported that it remained the same (42.8%) or improved (13.6%). During the period of restrictions on movement and social contact, the average frequency of sexual behaviors alone and in pairs therefore decreased significantly compared to pre-pandemic levels.
Also a New York Times article analyzed the decline in rates of sexual activitytrying to find other causes besides the pandemic. According to the British economist Noreena Hertz the drops are caused by a“Epidemic of loneliness”. Today we live in “a world that is receding”, in which the increase in rates of social isolation threatens not only our physical and mental health, but also our society. There are many factors that have contributed to this dystopian moment, including the smartphonethe gig economythe contactless economy, the growth of cities, the rise of single-person households, the advent of open space offices. Factors that have fundamentally redesigned not only economic relationships, but also personal relationships.
Another change recorded is theincrease in technology to support sex, with an increase in online pornography searches, sex toy sales, dating app downloads and erotic social media posts. This model, consistent with the overall integration of the internet and digital platforms into people’s sex lives, suggests that when opportunities for live and partnered sex are limited, online and solo activities can be used to fill the void. In fact, people who live alone are increasingly inclined to use technological tools dedicated to sex due to the limited opportunities for personal contact. Furthermore, loneliness and stress they could potentially induce adaptation to new sexual behaviors to satisfy psychological needs or alleviate negative moods.
“The fact that today there is on average one less sexual satisfaction compared to the pre-pandemic, it signals the opportunity to take a moment of reflection that will take us beyond the crisis – explains the doctor Maria Beatrice Toropsychologist and piscotherapist, teacher of community psychology and author, guiding voice of Conscious Sexuality – The mindfulness it is one of the most beautiful, effective, profound options we have to revitalize ourselves and make mind and body dialogue under the North Star of pleasure. Today we are hyper-involved in a sexuality made of images and virtuality, we talk more and more about beauty, physical shape, food and fitness, but … there are other ways of sensory realization, which pass through a loving and conscious contact with the body.
Sexuality is one of the basic motivations of every living being and is an important dimension of human life. It involves mind, body, emotions, fantasies and the sphere of relationships. It is, in fact, a dimension that, if desired, can be shared with a partner to be seduced and by which to be seduced, to meet virtually or actually, with whom to have a short experience or plan a life together “.
Sexuality is therefore auniversal human experience. It is about the relationship with our body, it connects to our personal desires and feelings and can be shared with others. When we are well aligned in our sexuality and it matches our needs and values, we live in well-being and personal fulfillment. But if, on the contrary, it is subjected to presumed imperatives, beliefs, stereotypes, models or rules that do not satisfy us then it can strengthen certain personal blocks.
The first step to live a truly conscious sexuality is get in touch with yourself. “Pleasant sexuality is based on personal choice – continues Dr. Toro – Getting in touch with your body to relax, awaken the senses and sensuality, central factors to fully enjoy a sexual encounter”.
For example, a useful and effective technique that allows you to integrate new information into our mindset, to reconnect to your own sensory dimension, is that of tapping: «Tapping in English means tapping with kindness – explains Toro – It consists in tapping the body, from the head, to the face, to the arms, to the legs, to the feet, to the groin… To make contact with one’s own bodily sensations. It is a kind of self-massage, which helps to release tension and to know each other deeply. For example, tapping in the middle of the intersection of the eyebrows helps to relax the frown that leads to a frown, while tapping the face helps to relax the jaw area, which is always contracted “.
Reconnect to the sensory dimension it is therefore the key to everything. It is therefore important to become aware of the senses by listening to the desires of the body.
The purpose of conscious sexuality is to achieve sexual well-being. If mindfulness is live in the present moment with acceptance, connection with our feelings and without judgment, conscious sex has the same approach applied to intimate relationships, individual or shared.
“It is a way of relating with full presence of the senses, emotions and connection with the people involved, through breathing, relaxation and positive reasoning – continues Toro – Today we live in an automated way – we drive, eat, breathe, walk without realizing it, without to be truly present, so superficially – practicing mindfulness means living in the here and now.
Applying it to sex means living it carefully, without judgment, without automatisms, without performance anxiety. Take what comes as it is, let yourself be carried away by the sensations, by the emotions, from where the body takes us and not the mind. Indeed, better: the two are in harmony, thanks to meditation, that is the goal. But beware, a serene sexuality requires a relaxed and rich relationship with the body: When we truly listen to what is happening in the body and are in acceptance of what is present, we are more prone to feel the pleasurable sensations and to have a pleasurable sexual experience.
Sex, sexuality, is a delicate area: they are a gift which must be lived with respect and love, of oneself and of the other. That’s why it demands a dialoguemostly inner: knowing how to look inside and talk to each other with acceptance and understanding is the basis of any healthy relationship “.
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Source: Vanity Fair
