How to overcome the anxiety of meeting new people?

Global pandemic permitting, entering a room full of strangers can be a surprising or terrifying experience depending on the case.

One of the experiences that distressed me most during adolescence was being invited to a birthday where I only knew the person being celebrated. Today I am very enthusiastic about the thought and I think of all the thousand possibilities of interfacing
with people never seen before. What has changed? Why does meeting new people scare us so much?

via GIPHY

Basically there is always this belief that you have to do things in a group: showing up alone * at a party makes us look strange and “at fault”. When we are in a group we can rely on people we know and not even try too hard to participate in new conversations. Joining new groups can take more effort, and getting out of your comfort zone is not always an easy and immediate experience. First of all, let’s take a look at that showing up alone does not automatically make us losers and that certain logics can be left to the upper third. People, among other things, have no idea of ​​the paranoia that circulate in our heads and pay almost zero attention to all the whims we are having. Basically, they are far more frightened, insecure, and human than what we see from the outside.

We don’t have to say everything or do something that doesn’t make us feel comfortable: we don’t have to talk at all costs, we don’t have to dance or participate if we’re ashamed. None of the options make us less likeable or interesting or worthy of being in that place. The point is to interface and converse with people who make us feel calm *, open conversation and join those who seem to have fun in a way more similar to ours, without trying to appear or show an image that does not really belong to us. Being yourself is the most banal concept in the world so much so that we tend to forget it, but it makes us much more spontaneous and pleasant. Of course, it’s not safe and easy to be ourselves in all contexts or with all people, but then the answer is simple: it’s not worth spending time with these people.

via GIPHY

Interfacing with those we do not know can enrich us, allow us to know new points of view or live experiences that we never could have imagined. But in doing so it is also important to get to know each other better, and to understand which interactions or energies we want to attract and which we can do without. You may not always find the right words, you will not be quick or easy, and you will also feel funny and awkward, but if the person on the other side is truly deserving of your presence and open to listening, none of this will compromise the pleasure. of that meeting.