How to Raise Children in the Digital Age: Practical Tips for the Internet and Mobile Devices

All available research and practical evidence suggests that the time children spend in front of a screen has increased exponentially over the past year. in the coronavirus era.

Social distance, lockdowns and distance learning have brought new challenges for the parent, who has to manage a new digital condition for his children.

What can you do to keep children in touch with the technological environment without undermining other aspects of their lives?

This is answered by two people who know well. John Palfrey and Urs Gasser are career educators and researchers who have long focused on good technology use by children.

In 2008 they released a book (“Born Digital”) with the conclusions of research, interviews and empirical data and recently hit again with a torment (“The Connected Parent”) with simple advice for anxious parents.

The goal is not, they tell us, to prevent your children from sitting in front of one screen. Despite doing as much as possible productive and constructive this year. And the ways are many…

The time of the screen

The time children spend in front of a portable device should be more about quality than quantity.

The research data presented by Palfrey and Gasser confirm that the most important it is not the time that children spend themselves, but what they do when they are online.

Always given the age. The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, sees no reason for children under the age of 2 to be exposed to screens.

Studies at these ages show the negative effects of such exposure on language development and short-term memory.

Older children, however, especially in adolescence, will find a way to bypass any parental time constraints. Not only that, but the “no” undermines their confidence teenagers to the parents, casting a heavy shadow on their relationship.

Safety must be the driver

“Take safety more seriously than you do now,” the two researchers say bluntly, “and then discuss it with your children.” They mean pre-adolescent children (just before 10 years).

Children of this age group are already engaging daily in social networking and their parents’ advice works extremely well to gain good surfing practices.

Based on their research work at Harvard, Palfrey and Gasser consider it essential that parents inform their children about what and how much of their personal life is allowed to be shared online.

Children are not aware of the long-term consequences of their online activities, such as a photo of them or their involvement in an online chat. It is the parents’ duty to introduce them to the unknown and even potentially dangerous digital world.

And children prove to be very smart, they tell us, in adopting good behaviors online, it is enough to teach them. How to communicate with their friends, ie at social media and gaming platforms without creating potential problems for their future.

All the parent should not do is let go of his fear. Or act as a guide.

The most common problem that is now recorded in pre-adolescents and adolescents is online bullying. Only, they tell us, children who are bullied and harassed online are the ones who are bullied and harassed offline.

Rarely is bullying just cyberbullying, as Data & Society, a research partner at Microsoft Research, has repeatedly shown.

What should the parent do here? To establish simple practical rules for the use of the Internet (where the child enters and where he does not enter) and to create a favorable framework for discussing the problems that arise.

One thing at a time

Despite the fact that we have been living in his time for a long time multi-tasking, Palfrey and Gasser call for a return to the old, when we talk about raising children at least. “Do one thing at a time, multi-tasking is not possible.”

Children who grow up in front of screens from a tender age find it easy to believe in their school years that they can do many things at once.

No one can, the American Psychological Society tells us decisively, you do not actually do many things at once, you just move quickly from one thing to another.

Limits are necessary here. When children do one thing (read about school, for example), they should do only that and nothing else at that time.

When the screen closes

At least half an hour or, even better, an hour before bed. A Brown University study has shown that children do not get enough sleep and one of the most important factors here is the open screens at the end of the day.

Here Palfrey and Gasser leave no room for conciliation. Establish rules so that the Appliances at least half an hour, ideally one hour, before the child falls into bed, they say in all tones.

No reading and sleeping devices

All parents know the temptation that children feel when there is a device next to them. Something that obviously applies to older people, ie the parents themselves.

So if we are not talking about e-learning regime, mobile and portable devices should not be next to children when they are studying or going to bed at night.

Palfrey and Gasser insist here that the device should not just be turned off, but should not even be visible.

Do not be afraid of gaming

Most parents are concerned about the impact of gaming (online now) on their children’s lives. And they are not wrong, the gaming can become obsessive and consume more and more time from the child’s daily life, to the detriment of other activities.

Studies, however, consistently show that fears about gaming are often exaggerated. We have little research evidence of a common parental concern, that gaming makes children aggressive and antisocial.

Gaming, on the other hand, can have a positive effect on the child, both in terms of cognitive and social development. Studies are constantly confirming the role of electronic games in improving memory and even in the socialization of children.

MIT has designed such a gaming program (Scratch) for children aged 8-16 years resulting in a bunch of positive learning outcomes for children.

Breaks, mandatory breaks

Children become more and more attached to their computers as they get older. Either for simple fun, either for socializing, or to do their homework and recently even to attend school.

Breaks are mandatory here and the activities are endless, as long as they contain physical exercise. A little exercise, a walk in the park, we are looking for such things that will definitely be different for every family.

And all is well, as long as they do not include screens again. The two researchers note that while the time children spend in front of the device does not matter so much, it is important to stay offline and do things they can not do in one computer.

Children do what their parents do

This is the most important aspect of the advice that Palfrey and Gasser come to give us. That the model of behavior for a child is always his parent.

And you do not need research, they tell us, to prove that what you do as a person has an impact on your child, you know this both empirically and intuitively.

If you tell, for example, your child to pay attention to what he writes in Facebook, but you do not do it at all, what do you really say to him? If you limit the time he spends on the internet but he constantly sees you with a cell phone in his hand, how can he believe that such behavior is not good?

Nothing counts more in the effort to support and guide children in adopting good standards on the internet than the parent’s own practices. THE Contact is the key again.

And we communicate with our children through our actions, our willingness to listen to them and our ability to learn and evolve.

The “connected parent” is also the one who will turn when things are not going well out there. Even if you do not know all the answers, the important thing is to be there for them.

Either online or offline.