“I am tired. Just really, really tired”: Woman describes life during crisis in Sudan

Two generals are fighting for control of Sudan, and caught in the middle are the country’s people.

Hundreds died, tens of thousands fled. Residents were trapped in homes and shelters without food or water, and gasoline became an increasingly important commodity.

Since the fighting began last Saturday (21), the CNN has been in regular contact with Iman Abu Garjah, a British-Sudanese doctor who was stranded while visiting family to celebrate Ramadan.

We received this update from her last Friday (21st). Her words have been edited for clarity.

Iman’s story

“I am tired. I’m really, really tired. Exhausted is the right word for it; exhausted. It’s a lot of adrenaline.

We were happy with the 24-hour ceasefire [no início da semana]which was extended, not because there really was a ceasefire, but because there was a spacing between attacks.

[Na quinta-feira] we all felt very tired, we were still fasting in the midst of all this, and everyone’s feeling was that Ramadan had to come to an end.

Cooking dinner, making fried eggs, trying to make something cool out of a can of tuna. I tried to moisten some stale bread.

Very late at night we heard, I don’t know what they were, missiles maybe?

My father has very limited mobility because he is sick. He’s sleeping on this sofa bed. We just had to push him from the living room where he was sleeping to a more secure area where there was wall covering instead of just windows.

My cousin is also with us. My daughter was absolutely in agony and simply inconsolable. My 96-year-old grandmother was in a room behind where we were sheltering.

She could hear the shelling, she could feel the tremor, the sound entering the house, but I shrugged it off for her. My mother was there too. My sister.

We also have housekeepers with us. There’s one from Kenya. She is not a Muslim, so I started reading the “Our Father” with her. I thought it might give her some comfort and reassurance to know that she’s not alone.

We also have two Ethiopian domestic helpers, and they were very scared. I kept thinking to myself, these poor people, they flee their countries to come to a place like Sudan, away from their families, to earn money to send to them or to go to a safer place and this is what happens to them. It seems so unfair.

I think there were two or three very loud thuds very close to the house. We just started to read [o] Quran, praying that we were safe trying to calm the children. I wanted to be an octopus [eu] having more hands, hands and arms to put around people just to hug them.

[Sexta-feira] it was a blur. I heard nothing of the Eid call [al-Fitr, celebração muçulmana que marca o fim do jejum do Ramadã] for prayers, which is one of the things that usually fills me with joy.

It’s one of the main reasons I came from the UK because I just wanted to have a nice fast with the family and here it is. All the Eid clothes are in the bag. The nail polish, the hair stuff. I didn’t even put on my mascara. So it’s a very sad day.

Many people are running away. There are a lot of people offering a place on buses to go to Egypt. Ours is a logistical nightmare. It is a big family and each person or each group of people or household has different requirements. Carry [minha avó] it won’t be like taking my eight-year-old nephew.

My brother’s daughter has certain health needs, she needs access to certain medications. My mother, my father, my grandmother and my sister would also feel very bad, or maybe not even survive if they didn’t have their medicine.

We try to be positive. We try to play games, we try to watch movies, but our attention is completely gone. Nobody can sit and watch a movie.

I focus on the good stuff: we have oil [para aquecimento da casa], we have electricity, we have running water because the water tank is working. We have cars in the garage, but there is no gas for them.

I’m avoiding the news. The statements on both sides seem to have the same author: I am your savior and victor.

I know they are both lying, manipulative, bloodthirsty men with no regard for the dignity or lives of the people they are paid to serve and protect.