There are not a few mothers who have spoken openly about how they feel after having their children, with several of them declaring regretting having a child and claiming to “hate” motherhood and others to reveal that they do not like their children at all.
Reluctant parents from around the world shared their stories anonymously in a group at Facebook by name I Regret Having Children.
Those who have posted in the group their experience talked about it social pressure to have children, as well as for her pressure from loved onesabout the struggles of caring for children with developmental disorders and their own struggles with mental health.
Regretting having children is not unusual, according to me 2021 YouGov pollwhich, according to Daily Mailfound that one in 12 Brits (around 8% of parents) wish they hadn’t.
Mothers who are not so happy with motherhood
One of the participants in the group from the USA mentioned characteristically about her child: “My biggest regret. I don’t hate my son, but I hate being a mother.”
“I hate myself for making the decision to have a child. It’s so hard, I feel like I don’t have any freedom since I became a mother. I’m waiting for her to sleep, because I’ll finally be alone. I have a partner, I can’t stand him anymore, but I can’t be a single mother, I can’t be alone with my son. It’s just hard.. thanks for reading.”
Meanwhile, another sought advice after revealing that she only had a child because her husband wanted her to, admitting she never wanted it to be mother. He now suffers from postpartum depression and feels anxiety whenever she is near the baby.
More specifically, she wrote, “I never wanted to have a child, but my husband did. I got pregnant right away and had the worst pregnancy ever and an emergency c-section. I wasn’t ready to have a child and once she was born I remember lying on the operating table knowing I didn’t love her and I didn’t want her. I am now a year postpartum and have extreme PPD.’
While he added that “I don’t want to be close to my child. I don’t want to play with her, hold her in my arms, or be in the same room with her. I get so anxious just being around her or counting down the hours until she gets out of daycare. I’m in psychotherapy and medication, but nothing seems to improve. I do not know what to do”.
THE strong dislike for her partner it was what made another mom regret having her child. “After two years I realize the only reason I hate being a parent is because of my child’s father,” the anonymous post admitted.
Among the posts, there were those whose the children had developmental disabilities, which had made parenting even more difficult. One mother wrote characteristically, “I feel so trapped in my life. I have a 27 year old daughter who will never mentally outgrow the age of 16 or so. I have my granddaughter who is three years old. I wish I could just raise my granddaughter and have my daughter go, but I know that would be harmful to my granddaughter. So I feel I have no choice but to keep fighting in this life.”
The lack of freedom that comes with children
Several parents complained about her lack of freedom they have since having children, with one writing: “I have a one year old daughter. I love her with all my heart, but I wish I never had her. Before I had her, I had my freedom and I could do whatever I wanted, I could go out whenever I wanted, come home whenever I wanted. I have a nervous breakdown and cry because I miss my freedom. Please don’t have children if you don’t want to lose yourself.”
On the other hand, another mother admitted that “my soul just longs for a quiet, peaceful life“, adding that she feels “ashamed and full of guilt for feeling this way.”
One mom, in fact, wondered why isn’t society more honest about it motherhood and the sacrifices it requires writing “Why aren’t people more honest about motherhood? The sacrifice? Humiliation if the child deviates from anything other than normal? The expectation that the mother must sacrifice EVERYTHING? That fathers should be held to a higher standard’?
Source: News Beast
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