“I leave you to recover”: how to deal with a separation indulging in a few laughs

The reason why there is a wedding planner who organizes your wedding and not a separation planner that makes separation less traumatic is one of the doubts that Giovanna Donini and Andrea Midena they wondered in I leave you to change my mind (Solferino), a “prati-comic” manual in which you laugh out loud, but you also learn some valuable lessons for when the relationship starts to creak. «Packing your suitcase when you are still happy can, for example, be very useful when you separate, so you will already have the right things to take with you without looking like a runaway “explain Giovanna and Andrea, television and theatrical authors, who have thought of writing this book because the separation, in their case, has always had something intended.

“We met through a separation. We became friends when Andrea had just separated and he was very ill “they say, reasoning on the fact that the theme of separation has always been in their head: reading the news of the divorce boom during the lockdown it was the fuse that led them to roll up their sleeves and give readers a book that Giovanna and Andrea are a little sorry they will read, but not so much “because in the meantime we invoice”.

“Even if you haven’t separated, however, it remains a book that you can give away because we all know at least one person who has separated: it’s a nice gift because you have a laugh, since we tried to play down a situation that is in itself very complicated ». For Donini and Midena, in fact, leaving and being left presuppose the same degree of suffering, the same indecipherable pain which, when felt, does not guarantee clarity in thoughts, let alone in actions. “Since leaving is not easy too, we thought of suggesting methods to prepare the ground such as the “induced slip”, which consists in inserting phrases like “I don’t love you anymore” in contexts that have nothing to do with it: “Today I parked and I don’t love you anymore”, “I was in line at the butcher’s shop, I leave you, and I order two ounces of bresaola “”. Bookstores around the world are full of books on how to deal with separation, but they are all very “mental”, very “serious” and, above all, “impractical”: “Americans make it easy with their case histories, but Wyoming is not Milan and proposing to “keep a diary” is certainly not a better alternative than ordering a gin and tonic at the bar on an empty stomach ». In short, more advice and fewer theories: “Find yourself a home; throw the other out or, alternatively, find him a bad home; choose the friends who will host you and try to understand how long you can stop by them before going crazy because, if you are already down on your own business, moving to someone who has a hygienic mania may not relieve your pain ».

What is certain is that separation continues to be a social stigma that leads the community to feel blame if not pain for the dumped person: “This is why at a certain point in the book we write that love is overrated, as if realization of one person only passes from love for another: no one asking you if you are happy. We have to start from ourselves, begin to feel good with us. If we can’t love each other, at least we try not to be on co ** ions “joke Andrea and Giovanna who – reassure us – live in a very serene way the fact that their exes will be able to read I leave you to recover: «We are convinced that, knowing us, they will forgive us. After all, it is a book made with love, without wanting to hurt anyone. ” The fact that the separate is a business, after all, is something established that, for some reason, no one has yet thought of riding properly: «When you go to get married you are happy, you don’t need anything because you have love. The hardest time is when you part: that’s where you need to have someone organize the party for you because you’re broken and collecting the money for you. That’s where you need everyone’s help, not when you get married. ” Certainly the lockdown played a fundamental role in all this. Especially for the more experienced couples: «While the newly formed ones made love for 60 days, the more worn-out ones saw their cracks and misunderstandings accentuate. Forced coexistence always helps to understand who you have by your side, especially when you can’t allow yourself any escapade and no time for yourself. ” The exceptionality dictated by the condition has meant that many couples in full harmony during the quarantine have anyway left because they had never lived in the outside world: to all of them, a review of I leave you to recover it certainly can’t hurt. With the hope that the text will soon become aplay as its authors think.