Kurt Cobain, 30 years after his death, the memory of his daughter Frances Bean

«Thirty years ago my father's life ended. The second and third photos capture the last time we were together while he was still alive.” Kurt Cobain in the words of his daughter Frances Bean Cobain who remembered him with a beautiful letter published on social media, on the thirtieth anniversary of his death, which occurred on 5 April 1994. He was 27 years old and took his own life with a blow to the head. “Grandma Wendy (her mother) would often press her hands to my cheeks and say 'you have her hands.' She smelled them like she was her only chance to keep him just a little bit closer, frozen in time. I hope she holds his hands wherever they are.” Thus begins the letter published by Frances Bean Cobain on the thirtieth anniversary of his father's death, Kurt Cobainon April 5, 1994. He was 27 years old and took his own life with a blow to the head.

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«For the last 30 years my ideas about his loss have been in a state of constant metamorphosis. The greatest lesson learned through grieving almost as long as I have been conscious is that it has a purpose. The dualism between life and death, pain and joy, yin and yang, must exist alongside each other otherwise none of it would have any meaning. It is the very nature of human existence that takes us deep into our most authentic life. As it turns out, there is no greater motivation to lean into loving awareness than knowing that everything ends.”

Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of Nirvana leader and Coutney Love, was born on August 18, 1992, twenty months before her father's death. In the post that she published, she inserted the last two photos of her that she has with him: there is her little girl leaning against him while she looks into her room and he touches her face to give her a kiss . «I wish I could have known my father. I wanted to know the cadence of his voice, how much he liked his coffee, or how he felt about tucking himself in after a bedtime story. I always wondered if he would catch tadpoles with me during the sweltering summers in Washington state and if he smelled like Camel Lights and strawberry Nesquik (his favorite, I was told).”

The photo that opens the post is instead a close-up of the hands of the grunge legend, immortalized by Michel Stipe, who together with the actress Drew Barrymore, was godfather of Kurt Cobain's daughter. «He gave me a lesson on death that can only come through the lived experience of losing someone», continues Frances Bean. “It is the gift of knowing for sure, when we love ourselves and those around us with compassion, with openness, with grace, how much more meaningful our time here becomes. Kurt wrote me a letter before I was born. The last line says: “wherever you go or wherever I go, I will always be with you”. He kept this promise because he is present in so many ways. Whether listening to a song or through the hands we share, in those moments I am able to spend some time with my father in a transcendent way. To anyone who has wondered what it would be like to live alongside the people they lost, I have you in my thoughts today. The meaning of our pain is the same.”


Source: Vanity Fair

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