Libido on pause: what happens when sexual desire goes out (and how to rekindle it without pressure)

In a world that enhances sexuality as a thermometer of personal and relational happiness, recognize a phase of Libid’s decrease It may seem almost a taboo. Still, it happens more often than we imagine. A libido on pause is not a sentence, nor a defect to correct. Rather, it is a signal to listen to. And talking about it is an act of care, awareness and health.

Wanting less (or even not wanting at all) is part of normality, it can happen in many moments of life, and It happens to more people than you think. Even if nobody tells us.

According to one revision published on National Health and Social Life Surveyup to 26% of women and 15% of men reports recurring episodes of decreasing sexual desire during life.

Sexuality is not just a question of bodies that are sought. It is also, and perhaps above all, the freedom to live desire according to one’s times, one’s needs, one’s emotions.

When sexual desire is missing

Sexuality, by its nature, is cyclical. There are periods when desire is strong, others in which it slows down. The problem is not the drop itself, but the way we interpret it.

The first step is to accept that libido is not a switched/turned -off switch, but a fluid function, fluctuating, deeply influenced by the body, mind and context in which we find ourselves day after day.

Let’s start from the physical level. In the female body, for example, i Estrogen levels and testosterone directly influence sexual reactivity; And these in turn are influenced by the menstrual cycle, perimenopause and by the use of hormonal contraceptives. But even in the male body libido can decrease for Fall of testosteroneperhaps due to prolonged stress, performance anxiety or mental tiredness.

But the lack of desire is not just a biological question. Various research have in fact highlighted how desire is strongly influenced by External and interior factors: From stress to tiredness, from hormonal changes to emotional difficulties, to more complex causes such as depression, anxiety or pharmacological side effects.

And then there are the events of life: a motherhood, a mourning, a disease, a move, an excessive mental load, a couple crisis or even the lack of time for themselves. These are all elements that can change the balance of our intimacy; so long as Sexuality is never separated from the context.

Yet instead of accepting these moments as part of the path, we tend to pathologize them. To live them with shame and guilt. As if there was something broken to adjust.

More than a lack, a transformation

One of the great taboos of sexual health is precisely this: to believe that libido should always be present and constant. In reality, there is no “ideal level” of passionate desire. There is one’s own experience, and how you feel compared to it. A reduced libido period becomes a problem only if it creates discomfort or personal suffering.

In other words, not feeling desire does not necessarily mean “being bad”. There sexual healthas the World Health Organization also recalls, is a condition of physical, emotional, mental and social well -being in relation to sexuality. And this well -being does not coincide with the frequency of relationships.

Mayo Clinic stressed that Hypotentive sexual desire disorder (i.e. a persistent drop in desire that causes clinically significant discomfort) concerns only a minority part of the population. In many other cases, they are simply physiological phases, which do not require “cure” but listen, patience and, sometimes, a redefinition of one’s needs.

How to rekindle libido (without forcing or expectations)

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Ridofranz

“How do I find the desire to have sex?” It is a question that many ask themselves, but that often starts from a wrong assumption: that there is something to “fix”. In reality, the healthiest approach is not to force libido, but take care of the body and emotions with kindness. Desire is not imposed, it is cultivated.

Rediscover pleasure (not just sexual) is an excellent starting point. Find time for yourself, for the movement, for the game, for creative boredom. Stop living sexuality as a performance to be replicated on every occasion.

In everyday life, this means returning to listen to one’s body without prejudice. Leave time to hear, to explore. Turn off the external voices, the toxic comparisons, the “should” that pollute the most intimate sphere.

And, if you are in pairs, communicate openly with your partner, without feeling judged.

A researchpublished by Sexual and Relationship Therapyshowed that 68% of women who had lived a drop in libido found desire not through medical solutions, but thanks to a Best dialogue with the partnerto new well -being habits and a reconnection with your body.

Practices such as the sexual mindfulness They can help reconnect with the body and pleasure, reducing performance anxiety and inner judgments. Other effective approaches are the sexual and relational therapythe redefinition of complicity in the couple, and, where necessary, medical support to manage any hormonal or pharmacological factors.

Intimacy can also change skin. It is not only made of penetrative or “numbers” relationships: it is also touch, listening, closeness, dialogue, imagination. Libido can be awakened Only if you leave her time to do it.

Sexual Desire DisordersPsychiatry (Edgmont)

Sexual Desire in Women: Paradoxical and Nonlinear Associations with Anxiedy and Depressed MoodArchives of Sexual Behavior

Individual Differences in The Effects of Mood on Sexuality: The Audved Mood and Sexuality Questionnaire (MSQ-R)The Journal of Sex Research

The Relationship Bethaeen Negative Mood and Sexuality in Heterosexual College Woman and MenThe Journal of Sex Research

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder: International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH) Expert Consensus Panel ReviewMayo Clinic Proceedings

Associations Bethaeen Daily Positive Communication and Sexual Desire and Satistfation: A Comparison Bethaeen Traditional Analyses and Machine LearningSexual and Relationship Therapy