Love begins when love ends

This article is published in the number 24-25 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until June 20, 2023

For most of us, life is made up of examples, role models, laws we follow, and stories we are told. Few manage to break the mold, to invent other scenarios, to indicate new directions. In fact, most of us go on in life because of what we have seen, experienced or learned. In terms of love, couple and family stories, then, it works the same way: we choose a partner, we indicate what is right and what is wrong and we imagine our family by referring to what we have seen and learned. In June, Vanity Fair will have two important releases, this one and the next one. And both of them will try to come to terms with what we think we know about love. I start from the first, from this number, because I don’t want to anticipate too much. On the cover we wanted to tell you exclusively about the end of the relationship between Sonia Bruganelli and Paolo Bonolis. I advise you not only to read their interview carefully, but also to watch it on our site to hear it directly from their voice.

The current narration of the couple, especially in the last year, is often linked to tragic events, such as the recent terrible feminicide, that of Giulia Tramontano at the hands of a violent and manipulative man. Other times, however, the stories of relationships that end become famous songs of personal empowerment, like the hit Flowers by Miley Cyrus, or refrains of revenge for betrayal like Session #53 by Shakira. Still others, the stories of separation end up on all sites and on all social networks, reducing love and important stories to a battle involving designer bags and precious watches.

Here, you will not find any of this in the end of the relationship between Sonia Bruganelli and Paolo Bonolis. I didn’t know them previously but I was on the set of this photo shoot and related video interview. The worst thing is that everything happened a few days after my wedding in Milan: so I found myself telling a story of separation at the moment in which I was celebrating my union.

Listening to Sonia and Paolo, however, more than a lesson on breaking up, I witnessed a declaration on what love is. Because true love, perhaps, really begins when love ends. It is there that his maturity, strength and courage of those he loved is measured. «There will be no lawyers and alimony», says Sonia, «we are more united than ever, because our love goes beyond custom. I wanted there to be an interview with us and that it was the original, just like an important bag, with regard to designer bags, so all the others that will come out will be only fakes, only imitations». And Paul adds: «Things happen in life, there are always transformations. And sometimes things line up and go parallel, other times they diverge. For Sonia there has been an important transformation due to which her life wants to be designed in a different way than what she has always been up to now ».

Once again: listen to the words of Sonia and Paolo, because they tell another story, another scenario, a different perspective. Above all, they explain that love, even when it ends, can and perhaps should be freedom and not possession, fear or constraint. Of course, it takes courage, intelligence and a lot of strength. However, it would be nice if stories like this were not just the exception to the rule but became a role model, an inspiration.

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