Maria Laura Annibali and Lidia Merlo, our love beyond the rainbow

Maria Laura Annibali e Lidia merlo they kept their love hidden for 15 years. Three decades of suffering, lies, bewilderment. Until the strength of their union prevailed over family and religious conditioning, prejudices and repercussions in the workplace.

Today, the two, married since 2016, live their relationship in the light of the sun, proud to tell their story to the world. A story that, together with many other stories of love, hate, coming out, self-search, has become the protagonist of Beyond the Rainbow, the interactive global campaign of H&M (here to access and learn about all the protagonists) who supports Pride and the LGBTQIA + community. A project, that of the Swedish giant, created to inspire individuals to know, share, and support the fundamental values ​​of diversity, equality and transparency. But above all an invitation, to look beyond the mere rainbow to see and touch real life stories. Like that of Maria Laura and Lidia.

In the video for the H&M campaign you tell the pain of a love that has been hidden for so many years. What prompted you, at a certain point, to go out into the sunlight?
M.L.: «I hid my true identity for 23 years when I was with my previous partner, and then for another 15 when I got together with Lidia. At the time of the first relationship, around the seventies, I had a public role, I was a known woman, I could not say that I was with another woman even though I lived with it. But inside I suffered a lot. Then one day I said enough. I realized that I couldn’t go on like this and so, despite having an important job, I resigned. I did it for love. Then my ex left me and I found myself out of work and out of love. But I didn’t regret it. I said to myself: why do I have to hide? “

What did he do then?
«In 2000 I started making my first contacts in World Gay Pride, but always on the sly. At first I was ashamed, so much so that I participated in the Pride parade under the banner of animal rights, also because I was and still am, without saying anything to anyone. From there my gradual coming out process began. “

At that point his path crosses with Lidia’s …
L: “I got married, but without really being aware of it. I also had a daughter. But in those years I felt pain inside me, because I realized more and more that this was not my way. I liked women. I stifled this desire for the family and religious conditioning with which I grew up, until one day, by chance, reading the newspaper, I saw that they were talking about the Gay Village. I didn’t know anything about this world, I was completely out of it, but it intrigued me and I said: I want to go there. “

Did he go there?
«The first day I went, but out of shame I didn’t go in. Then you give me courage and I went back on the second day. I asked to speak to someone to be able to compare myself, understand a little more. They replied that they organized self-awareness groups and it was Maria Laura who took care of them. I was introduced, we talked, and it was love at first sight. I fell in love with it instantly. She was very reticent at first, she didn’t want to know, but I assured her that I would do anything to win her over and make her forget her ex. One evening I bought a can of red spray paint, went to his house at three in the morning with the risk that I was arrested and wrote on the floor: “Laura I love you passionately and forever” with a heart, an arrow and two drops of blood. After that I called her, and told her to come down and see the surprise I had prepared for her. From there our story began. “

In the video Maria Laura says that, to hide her orientation, she told everyone that she was the “lover” of a man in sight. How heavy was the judgment of others in those years when you struggled inwardly between “who you were to be” and “who you really were”?
M.L.:«It was not so much the judgment of others that weighed, but that of us towards ourselves. That is, what is called internalized homophobia. We ourselves are afraid of what we are because the world does not help us to be, to bring it out. But not because we are uncertain or perplexed. When you become aware of who you really are, it is not doubts that frighten you, but we still need time to tell and confess to ourselves who we are, and a society that opposes us does nothing but slow the path. In addition, the veiled public certainly does not help the cause. “

For so many people today, it is still difficult to come out …
M.L.:“Yes, because many of us need help. I’m talking about global help, on a political level. If a gay or lesbian is abused and politics does nothing to protect them it is clear that many prefer to remain in the shadows and not declare themselves. All the more so for those who are older, perhaps married or with children. At the beginning the same thing happened to Lidia and me. She was married, with a daughter, and I with a job in the Tax Commission. We could not help but hide, live in ambiguity, so much so that I told everyone, and especially my family, that I was the lover of a prominent man, I had also given my name and surname. Until, after almost 15 years, we both got rid of this burden. “

How did you feel?
«Of happiness, lightness, emotion. We were finally experiencing freedom. “

Is there anything you wouldn’t do if you could go back?
M.L. «To suffer as I have suffered. And above all, not having immediately told my sister, who unfortunately is no longer here today, that I was a lesbian. My ex didn’t want me to see her, hang out with her, go see her. Who knows what he must have thought of me … “
L.: “I wouldn’t keep it all inside. It was a huge pain. I was wrong with marriage, I had to fight against family conditioning and tell the truth, who I was, what I felt. “

What advice would you like to give to the new generations and to those who are fighting for their rights and freedoms?
L: «Talk, talk, talk. Don’t suffer! Love has no sex. Love is love! “
M.L.: «I would not like to see anyone suffer anymore. In my opinion, society today, unlike politics, is more ready and inclined to listen and appreciate diversity than in the past. The parents are not yet ready and predisposed. There is a need for training in schools, in the workplace. There is a need to help people understand, prepare them, give them the tools to learn to accept and accept the paths and personal choices of their children, and in general of the other. We need to tell, to talk. “

In this sense, the H&M campaign was an important opportunity to give voice to your story
M.L.: «It was a wonderful experience and a precious opportunity. We had so much fun doing it, especially since the goal of this project is our very life mission. That of fighting for universal freedoms and rights and silencing hatred. Where there is love there can be no sin. “