My husband Stefano is desperately looking for a ticket for an Italian date of Peter Gabriel’s tour, arriving in Milan and Verona. Above all, a ticket at an affordable price and a decent placement on the audio side, which is by no means a given and he, with his trade, knows it well. If there’s anyone who would give their soul to see for a lifetime, it’s Peter Gabriel.
He introduced me to him when we met. I remember one afternoon of our first outings, I was up, free and expeditious. We took a weekend aboard his off-road vehicle, he looked at me with the enamored gaze of a photographer and said: «This song seems to talk about you». Was In your eyes.
Over the years and with the illness the favorite song, which he taught me with that tender and terribly serious look, has become Don’t give up, and it could not be otherwise. Even today, when I hear that duet with Kate Bush again, tears escape, because I remember a time when the “do not give upwas referring to a small new symptom, an MRI gone wrong, certainly not today’s ferocious survival.
But let’s go back to the concert: «Love, I saw that there is this opportunity, I have to do it at least once in my life». “It would be nice. But how do we do it?». Yeah, how do we do it? The facilities are accessible, but how do you book a disabled space? Reservations for the disabled are the big absent at any event, local or national. Nothing is found here either. And then, where do they put me? Do I risk ending up in the subscale of the situation (I read similar experiences of disappointed and pissed off people on social media)? Will there be an accessible and reachable toilet? And then came my personal perplexities: with this effort, where am I going? With hypersensitivity to noise, with resistance collapsing after an hour at the most? With my unforgiving insomnia, with wheelchair back pain, with lymphedema that gives me pain and spasms: where do I go?
Attention, mine is not anxiety: I know my body and my reactions and I’m not telling anyone who can do it not to try… Each is unique, with its limitations. But do I really want to go? Here is the crux.
Is it a romantic dream of the day before yesterday, to see Peter Gabriel together, to hear from each other “as if nothing had happened”, or is it a real desire? It sounds sad to give up, send him and say «will you send me pictures». It is the sense of exclusion of the disease. These are limits given by personal conditions but also by the context, which certainly does not facilitate. And this is a fair accessibility battle. But do I really want to go, complicating his unforgettable evening?
«I had the epiphany, Stefano. I don’t go crazy to see Peter Gabriel. You yes. Look for the ticket yourself, without complications ». Do you know what the joy was? Seeing that he was waiting for me to tell him.
How beautiful is freedom? Freedom is also being alone. Break up with. Choose, to be together, only choose! Forced proximity, the obligation to share at all costs, are not freedom. Addiction is not freedom. Symbiosis is not freedom. Forcing the other to your own limits – the ones we already have to suffer in everyday life – is not freedom. And instead, what a beauty to be individuals!
What a relief to be able to say, go and enjoy it, I’ll enjoy a couple of days without you. It takes autonomy to be able to say that. We need assistance, we need money. It also takes the head and heart to remember that we are always two separate individuals. In health and in sickness, secularly speaking, we will always be two separate individuals.
Someone help my husband Stefano find a note for Peter Gabriel.
(Photo credits: Luca Coscioni Association)
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Source: Vanity Fair
I’m Susan Karen, a professional writer and editor at World Stock Market. I specialize in Entertainment news, writing stories that keep readers informed on all the latest developments in the industry. With over five years of experience in creating engaging content and copywriting for various media outlets, I have grown to become an invaluable asset to any team.
