Me, Stefano and multiple sclerosis: the courage to touch it first hand

«Don’t cry Laura. This will be a long battle. And battles, as we know, need warriors.” «My friend you did it! I’m returning from Jerusalem and we need to meet.”.

These two messages were sent to me three years apart from each other by the same person: Francesca Mannocchiwar correspondent to all fronts of the world. The first, which I still have, was the evening of that cursed February 15, 2022, when the Constitutional Court declared the referendum inadmissible on legal euthanasia promoted by the Luca Coscioni Association. I was in tears because I saw in the referendum a hope for everyone and for me too. I sent a voicemail to Francesca that I was sobbing, she tried to console me but also warned me, the battle would be long. The second message reached me the day I got the green light for assisted suicide. Hundreds of messages rained on me that day. But the first one, also busy and just back from the other side of the world, was hers. Nothing escapes him, the first-rate reporters. And so, three years after our first meeting and his first interview, we met again. I didn’t think it would ever be possible.

I didn’t think so because in the three years since we knew each other – since that 2021 year of collecting signatures for the referendum – every time between one greeting and another we said we’d see each other again Francesca had to run to some new war front. I remember February 2022 and the idea of ​​meeting up for a project together: it was history, with the Russia-Ukraine war, that divided us for a very long time. Then the hugs at the various journalism festivals in Perugia, a nice initiative with the Feltrinelli magazine and a piece she asked me about the end of life, the very one who had to deal with death every day of her work. But she never forgot the importance of the topic nor, and I will always thank her for this, did it ever occur to her to slip into moralistic rhetoric or benevolentism.

At Piazzapulita I will tell about our bond

Three years pass in a flash, my legal battle passes, in the meantime the wars not only don’t end but increase, in the meantime my illness, which unfortunately I share with herworsens drastically. The long awaited arrives for me, so full of implications‘green light’. And so Francesca, a first-rate journalist, writer, director and documentary maker, strong in her profession, strong and fragile in her life with multiple sclerosis, does everything to come back to visit me. “I want to tell you about Laura. I want to finally carve out two days to be with you hour after hour. I want to touch with hand”. “You’re right Francesca, let’s do it. Let’s go down hard. I have nothing left to lose and nothing to be ashamed of. They have seen and heard almost everything about me. Today I really want to make people understand how is“. The new opportunity is transmission Piazzapulita (broadcast Thursday 5 December) by Corrado Formigli. She fears the end of life but also, and this is the thread that has always linked Francesca and me, illness.

Yes, because Francesca has always experienced her multiple sclerosis as a political discourse. And in reality nothing has a political value more than disease, with that social pact between state and citizens which risks collapsing if people cannot enjoy their rights. The end of life is also part, or rather should be part, of that social pact. Do we want to tell you what it’s really about? Do we want to talk about what suffering leads to certain choices? Perhaps if everything were told without veils, intermediaries or taboos, not only public opinion but also and above all politicians would better understand what it is like in certain conditions 24 hours a day. It is the body itself that becomes a vehicle and instrument of political struggle.

Stefano, me and our daily life

The two day crew was challenging. Offering the cameras my body, the invasive maneuvers I am subjected to, my disabilitiesmy paralysis and our tears, I say ours because Stefano, with his heart and his emotion, was an active part of the storyfor me it would not have been possible with others. Francesca had the courage to touch it firsthand, and also wanted to look after me in every way. He took me for a walk in a wheelchair, fed me, gave me something to drink, dried my tears, blew my nose, caressed my hair between the sheets while Stefano catheterized me, witnessed all the maneuvers and listened to my assistants, told me the his fragility and his illness, we exchanged our fears and our struggles. She held my hand as I finally asked her, “tell me that my story didn’t scare you, that you are in another level of illness“. And looking me straight in the eyes he replied, words that alone would be worth the whole service: “Don’t worry Laura, I know my ending may be different. This is why I believe in medicine. But I know it could be bad for me too. And for this reason, I believe in law“.

Thank you on behalf of all of us, Francesca.

More stories by Vanity Fair that may interest you:

– Stefano and multiple sclerosis: my appeal to Giorgia Meloni

• I Stefano and multiple scelrosis, a parenthesis of beauty
• I Stefano and multiple sclerosis: a signature for us and for you

– Stefano and multiple sclerosis: time for fresh air

–Me, Stefano and multiple sclerosis: we are also something else

-Me, Stefano and multiple sclerosis: violated intimacy

-Me, Stefano and multiple sclerosis: the contagion

-Me, Stefano and multiple sclerosis: it was like feeling free…