When he first visited Italy with his father in 1975, the rabbi Barbara Aiello from the United States, he thought, “One day I’m going to live here.” Three decades later, that’s exactly what happened.
Today, at 77, Aiello, born in Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania moved to Milan in 2004 and, two years later, went to Serrastretta, a village in the Calabria region of southern Italy, where his father came.
There, he married his second cousin, Enrico and founded “the first and only Synagogue of Calabria” in the small village of the province of Catanzaro.
Fate
“It looks like something from another world,” says Aiello – known as Rabbina Barbara – when talking about her life in Serrastretta. For her, it has always been written that this would be her destiny. “There is a word in yidche, beshert … it means ‘it was to be’.”
Growing in Pittsburgh, Aiello – The first in the family to attend a college “I didn’t usually go far, but I loved to hear the father’s stories about his life in Italy.
“I went to a small faculty of teacher training in western Pennsylvania. It was the first time I left Pittsburgh, ”he recalls. “It was only 100 kilometers away, but to me it seemed a huge trip.”
In that first visit to Serrastretta in the 1970s, the main objective was to take his father back to hometown for the first time since he had emigrated to the United States in the 1920s. But Aiello soon realized that he felt a special connection with the place .
“The first time I saw the village, I was delighted with its beauty and the hospitality of people,” he says CNN TRAVEL .
Back in the US, Aiello dedicated himself to his career as a teacher and then became a professional puppet. “I did it for 17 years,” he says.
For a long time, he dreamed of becoming a rabbian, but over the years, he began to think he was already “too old” for that.
“I always believed it is a vocation, a kind of divine called,” he reflects. At the time she grew up, she didn’t know any woman rabbin – The first in the US was ordered only in 1972 .
“I graduated in 1968, and there were no women’s rabbis. So how did this idea come to my head? I believe it was guided by God. ”
It was a conversation with another rabbi who convinced her to follow her dream. “He told me something no one else had said,” he recalls. “He asked, ‘How old are you?’ I answered: ’42. ‘”
She continued, “Then he said, ‘And how are you going to feel at 52, if you haven’t done that yet?’ And that was hammering in my head. ”
It’s never too late
At 47, Aiello entered the seminar and, four years later, was ordered rabbi by the reformist movement, which seeks to modernize Jewish traditions.
Orthodox Judaism authorities do not recognize women’s rabbis, even if they have been ordered by other Jewish currents. “Last year, I turned 25 as a rabbin,” he says.
For many years, he worked in synagogues in Florida and was also a Hebrew teacher at a synagogue on the virgin islands. But how ended up moving to Milan?
“I think the circumstances found me more than I created them,” admits Aiello. When he was ending a contract in Florida, the opportunity arose to become the rabbi of Italy’s first progressive synagogue, and she grabbed the chance.
In 2004, he left the US to start a new life in Italy. “I was the first Rabbi woman in Italy” says. “And to this day, I’m still the only one.”
But despite being happy to finally live in his father’s country, he soon realized that being a rabbi in the US and Europe were very different experiences.
“Judaism in Italy is much more traditional than in the United States” explains. “In the US, the reformist movement is the largest.
“In Italy, the predominant current is the orthodox. So it was really a challenge. ”
And that was not the only obstacle. Although Aiello thought he dominated the Italian well because of his origin, he soon saw that he still had a lot to learn.
“I thought it was fluent,” he says. “But I had a reality shock, because besides food, family, travel and climate, my vocabulary was almost null. I had to work hard. ”
To overcome this, he began to study with a tutor specializing in psychology and theology, which helped her a lot.
“When I arrived in Milan, I couldn’t make a sermon in Italian,” he recalls. “I could keep a conversation, but talking about deep topics was difficult.
“So the first year was complicated. The second, a little better. ”
Slowing down
Although he liked his life in Milan, Aiello was always attracted to Serrastretta and used to visit his relatives in the village.
After two years in the city, another great opportunity emerged: a foundation linked to a couple whose marriage she had celebrated decided to finance the creation of a synagogue in Calabria.
“A lot of people ask me, ‘Why did you choose Serrastretta to open a synagogue in Calabria?’” He says. In fact, there were several cities where it could have founded a Jewish community.
“But once again, I think it was Serrastretta who chose me. After all, it was here that my father and ancestors lived. So there was a natural bond. ”
The synagogue was inaugurated 18 years ago and, to the delight of Aiello, many residents began to visit her.
“I made a point of walking around the square every day and greeting everyone,” he says, remembering the affection with which he was received.
As he was part of the local community, a special resident caught his attention: Enrico, his second -degree cousin, who is also a Jew. The two married 14 years ago.
“Now, among us, we are probably relatives of almost everyone in town,” he jokes.
Aiello believes his father, who died in 1980, would have been happy with this union. In fact, he may even have predicted that.
“The first time I met Enrico was in 1975, and my father said, ‘You should marry this boy,’” he recalls. “I answered, ‘Ah, daddy…’ and years later, he was right.”
After almost two decades in Serrastretta, Aiello feels completely at home and is not imagined living elsewhere.
“There is a warm warmth, a sense of companionship and welcome,” she says, noting that although there are disadvantages of living in the city, such as accessibility – the nearest airport is 25 kilometers – positive points far outperforms negative.
“All these factors are important, but the most important thing was the feeling of being home.”
Aiello says that since he left the United States, he has learned to lead his life more calmly and has valued “what we Americans call old -fashioned values.”
“There is an expression here in Calabria: If you are extremely organized, punctual and work hard, they say ‘you work as an American’,” he explains, emphasizing that this is by no means an insult.
“The weather here, in southern Italy, is lived around the table, with family, with children and friends.”
She acknowledges that having Italian roots and being married to an Italian has made her adaptation to the country a little easier, and admires those who change without any prior connection with Italy.
“I give a lot of credit to those who can integrate with the community, because it makes everything more difficult. That was not my case, ”he admits.
“My husband is well known in several of these small towns, and that helped me a lot.”
Like many foreigners who choose to live in Italy, Aiello confesses that he had difficulty dealing with the country’s famous bureaucracy.
“They complain a lot about bureaucracy, and rightly so,” he says. “It can be extremely frustrating. So if you get annoyed easy and expect everything to happen quickly…
If you are buying a house, opening a business or traveling and wants everything to work agile and organized, as in the US, you will feel very frustrated here. ”
For those who think of moving to Italy, Aiello advises “doing their homework” and devoting time to language learning.
She also suggests visiting the chosen place “Out of High Season.”
Welcoming Community
“Coming to Calabria in July is completely different from being here now, when the houses are cold and full of air stream,” he explains.
She points out that being open to the new and having an “adventurous spirit” are fundamental to such a change.
“Changing is never easy, even when the change is positive,” he says. “The challenges are real.
But you can’t just arrive and wait for everything to be like on your last holidays in Italy. ”
About the cost of living, Aiello considers calabria a cheaper place to live. She points out that it is possible to go to the market and buy “two full bags, especially fruits and vegetables”, for about 40 euros.
“In the US, the same purchase would cost almost $ 100,” he compares.
On the other hand, he notes that gasoline is more expensive than in the United States, but people in Italy are much more cautious about using the car.
“Today, it would be a big financial challenge to live in the US,” he adds, commenting on the price shock he had on his last visit. “The rents are lower, the prices of real estate as well.”
Although your father was born in Italy, AIELLO could not request Italian citizenship because he lost his right when he joined the US army.
Even so, he is struggling to obtain citizenship for descent and transmit it to his daughter, who lives in the United States.
“I already have the permanent residence practically guaranteed, for being married for 14 years,” he says.
“But I want citizenship for the blood for my daughter, so I keep trying. It’s a complicated process, but the government has been striving to make it more agile. ”
AIELLO is proud to be in Front line of the modern Jewish community In Serrastretta and feels that he is continuing his father’s legacy, who always talked about “The History of Calabria, especially about the strong Jewish presence that one day prospered here.”
She works in partnership with the city’s priest to “promote acceptance and respect between religions”, which includes celebrating together holidays common to Judaism and Christianity.
“I say something that is still controversial: I believe the Interreligious marriages are hope for Judaism . ”
Aiello visits the United States regularly to see his daughter in Chicago, but does not intend to live there again.
“When I go to the US, I prepare for everything I need to solve,” he says. “But when I come back, I feel like I’m at home. It is a completely different feeling. ”
However, it admits that there is something that could make it reconside: health . “I am 77 years old, my husband is 84, and the biggest problem here is medical care,” he says, noting that southern Italy “is not exactly known for its medical services of excellence for the elderly.”
“Medicare in the US is much more organized and efficient,” he adds.
Twice cancer survivor, Aiello says that he returned to the United States to have surgery, “mainly because the service is better.”
“And also because it is my mother tongue. I needed to understand exactly what was going on, ”he adds.
“If something made me go back to the United States, it would be health. But for now, I’m here… and I’m happy here. ”
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Source: CNN Brasil
Johanna Foster is an expert opinion writer with over 7 years of experience. She has a reputation for delivering insightful and thought-provoking articles on a variety of subjects. Her work can be found on some of the top online news websites, and she is currently lending her voice to the world stock market.
