M.elissa Panarello it is in his Roman apartment that the office of his literary agency, the Pal, also does the work. You just finished sending some emails to some publishers, there are contracts to sign for the authors he represents. «I created the Small Literary Agency from scratch and at the boarding, as always, ”he says. “I do everything by myself, from the logo to the site to working with the writers, so if I hit my head, I hit it alone.” Twenty years ago, her head banged for the first time, when the “most boarding thing ever done” came out: One hundred brush strokes before going to sleepthe book that soon became a best seller with three million copies sold, which told the erotic and sentimental education of a teenager discovering the sex in all its forms, including extreme sex, group sex and rape fantasies. Novel written in the form of a diary and signed by Melissa P.with the dot at the end, a truncation that for some time created a halo of mystery around the author. Then Melissa went on TV, the book in the charts and the uproar broke out: explicit sex and adolescence, the scandal had served.
For several years Melissa Panarello has signed herself with the full surname, today she is 36, a two and a half year old son, Cosmo, and Bompiani has published a new edition of One hundred brush strokes before going to sleep with a preface of the writer Giulia Caminito.
Caminito writes that by rereading One hundred brush strokes today, as an adult, she found «the story of an unquestionable fragility».
“That’s exactly right, this is the aspect I’ve been screaming about for 20 years, never really being understood. Sex is the part that comes to light the most, but for me it has always been a novel about loneliness and the inability to feel close to others, a common condition of adolescence, and about feeling rejected and without love. That was the intention, then readers get what they like. Today perhaps the readers of the time are able to grasp the meaning ».
Readers interpret but also publishers and authors carry out marketing campaigns: they only find that for One hundred shots was she particularly aggressive?
“Nothing was done that was not asked by the media, which told the phenomenon as they wanted, treading on the erotic aspect. The press office at the time always told me that this was the easiest book to deal with, it didn’t have to call or explain. As for me, I have never spared myself, I was not afraid or ashamed of doing photo shoots a little winking, I played with it a lot on sex and sexual freedom. I took that freedom typical of age, without thinking about the consequences. I believed that sex was normal and not transgressive ».
Giulia Caminito also writes that sexually free women do not have an easy life, hence the attacks.
«I do not make a banner of my freedom. It’s not just about promiscuity, it’s freedom. I have never felt free because I have had so many sexual experiences, but because I have the possibility to say what I am and what I do. This has had consequences. It was not an era ready to welcome this freedom ».
Would our age be ready?
“Today One hundred shots I don’t know if it would cause a scandal, but it would certainly be welcomed in another way. Someone would use the schwa, everyone would be in solidarity with the young writer. At the time she was competing to see who shot her biggest ».
How hard was it?
“Many have been said, but luckily I never felt attacked because the person who was being targeted was actually a character, no one knew me.”
Was it really that impervious to attack?
“I grew up with a mother who didn’t have the best words for me. In other words, if your mother insults you all the time you are practiced, and so if Pincopallino in the newspaper denigrates you, she doesn’t interest you. I never took it personally but I was angry with a sense of general justice, I wondered: how can you attack a 16-year-old girl? I could be their daughter. ‘
Were you harassed at the time?
“It always happened. Men felt empowered to try. Which I am not against, be careful, but some approaches have been heavy ».
The reactions were violent.
“Sometimes even unexpected, they came from meek people who became very aggressive. It aroused a lot of anger, even in women ».
In women more or less?
“Men hid anger by trying aggressively, women used words. I remember 20-year-old girls screaming at me: bitch, die ».
How can that anger be explained?
«Pornography shows sex in its crudeness, the thing culturally considered most intimate: so if you reveal a secret you are wrong. For women, pornography arouses feelings of jealousy, for example when a man looks at and desires the body of a porn star. ‘
What did that book leave you?
“The freedom to do what I wanted, which many writers don’t have because they have to be successful first. With the first I was free to be what I wanted. For twenty years many journalists have been trying to get my repentance out of me. But why should I regret a novel that has given me so much? ‘
Did he earn a lot?
“How all bestsellers make money. Saviano has sold more than me. The money gave me economic independence and the opportunity to buy a house ».
What is the negative legacy, the burden of that novel?
“Does not exist. I traveled a lot, 90 percent of the people in my life today I met with that book. It was all so good. Then I didn’t know it at the time, but it’s normal to have moments of light and dark. When I had phases in which I was in the shadows, I felt a sense of bewilderment ».
Why did she take back her surname at some point?
“Melissa P. has always been” the writer “, but after Luca Guadagnino’s film (the film adaptation of the 2005 book, ed) the identification between the person and the character had become cumbersome, so I took back my surname, which initially I hadn’t been able to put on the cover because my parents didn’t want it to appear ».
Do you like Guadagnino’s film?
“No, neither then nor today. I discussed it with Luca and we also made peace. I respect him as a director, I really love the things he did later, but that film was honestly very bad. Not because it deviated from the book, but because it was badly acted, badly turned and distorted: there is even a good relationship with the mother, a best friend appears who has never been. If you take away the loneliness you have lost everything. She suggested that the protagonist fuck because she was happy. Instead she was sad, with a very deep loneliness ».
How had her parents reacted to the tsunami?
“Mind their own business. Shortly after the book came out, I came of age and from there I decided everything about myself. At home I didn’t talk about my work. I didn’t want to let them in. ‘
What kind of relationship are you in today?
«With my father I have a beautiful, serene relationship, of great mutual understanding. I haven’t talked to my mother for many years. ‘
She has been a mother too for two and a half years.
“And I have even less justified mine. Realizing how much a child can be dear to you in an unprecedented way, I wonder how certain actions can be carried out against children. Arguing is normal, but doing or saying things against your daughter’s good and interest is beyond any maternal relationship. You cannot harm your children. You are probably someone who needs help. ‘
For the anniversary of One hundred shots what will he do?
“Maybe a party at home.”
She is passionate about astrology, what sign it is One hundred brush strokes?
“Lion. He came out on July 23rd ».
Matches the character?
“It’s perfect”.
Source: Vanity Fair
