Miro in progress

Talk about himself in a masculine way.
«I would like a neutral, a they. In Italian it is not possible, and then being I – it seems – very feminine I choose the masculine endings as a reinforcer. To counterbalance ».

Is language fundamental?
«For me, yes, but the point is this: if there is no real social transformation first, the language will not be able to change. It is obvious that the Accademia della Crusca sends you to that town ».

Have you ever considered yourself a lesbian girl?
“I have always been with women, at 13 I had my own rock & roll group, we used to go out and do lesbian. But at a certain point I asked myself: isn’t it that maybe I’m a straight cisgender person instead? What are? I do not know! Today I am a non-binary trans who loves Giulia. Point”.

Have you never thought about becoming a full-fledged man?
“I think about it constantly, that’s my big question. But I decided to build myself one step at a time, I need my times, my methods ».

The next step: the breast will be removed.
“At first I didn’t want to. I am the most sanctimonious person I know, I was afraid of doing something strange. They told me I was very beautiful, I was afraid of becoming a monster ».

He changed his mind.
«I learned not to ask myself questions: I know that in the present, to feel good about myself, I have to find comfort in my body. Maybe in 50 years, when genders no longer exist, it will no longer be necessary to take off the breast: it is a symbol, and when we desemantize it, that’s it
that disappears ».

Do you see yourself beautiful today?
“No, I see myself under construction.”

Will it be more beautiful after the operation?
“Yup. And finally I will be able to go to the sea and sunbathe ».

She will never be able to breastfeed again.
“It’s not something you think about.”

He decided to have surgery in Belgium. Because?
«In Italy the National Health Service provides only for the possibility of switching from one gender to another; we are not recognized as non-binary people. Even the hormonal microdosing, which would allow me – I make it simple – to change the shape of my body without growing a beard or without a receding hairline, is difficult to achieve. I was told: “Don’t you want a beard? Eh, burdens and honors of testosterone! “. You see, I want something that public health, to date, doesn’t even know exists. And in any case, assuming that one wants to go through the mandatory process of psychological sessions, diagnoses and courts to obtain the transition, for a breast operation the waiting lists are very long “.

However, she does not want to do it.
“Exactly. For cases like mine, in Italy private structures can only reduce the breast, not remove it completely. I chose the fastest and safest method ».

Not the cheapest.
“True: it will cost me, in all, 11 thousand euros. For this I have opened a crowdfunding ».

Are you afraid of the operation?
“I’m so tired that I can’t wait to stay in bed and get revered and eat pancakes. It is something that makes me happy. I am fed up with the binder that even suffocates my soul ».

I have to ask him this question: why does her breasts disturb her, and not her vagina?
“This is what she thinks! (laughs) Unfortunately I have it here in front of me, I’m always bent over, just to see it less. It does not belong to me, it is not mine. I know, it’s hard to explain. The issue of the genitals still I can’t deal with it, and maybe I won’t even do it after. I think it has to do with the dynamics of intimacy, with the thought of being in a body that we are used to seeing work in one way, and that we would like it to work in another ».

In this historical moment, the reassignment of the gender is now normalized, or almost. The same cannot be said of the recognition of non-binary identity. Because?
“Why the enby they do not occupy a specific square. Spiazzano ».

What does its history teach us?
“It will be a freaky banality, but it’s true: we must remember that we are all different, even if we are all identical, made of flesh and blood.”

Is everything he is experiencing a demonstration of his strength or his fragility?
“I have never felt so fragile in my life as now: I am asking for help for the first time, and in doing so I am also giving others the opportunity to accompany me. This fragility is very powerful ».

Styling The goose that lays the golden eggs vintage archive, MAKE-UP ilaria Rizzi

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