In recent days the actress’s reports Micheli Machado and the presenter Tati Machado 33, on the loss of their respective babies in advanced pregnancy, they became the subject of social networks. The theme was again debate and some important questions, such as not saying and how to act with someone who lost the baby, were raised. In conversation with CNN Expert doctors comment on the subject and give directions on how to deal with (or help deal) with the situation.
Actress Micheli Machado and actor and presenter Robson Nunes They communicated, on their social networks, that the artist was in the final stretch of pregnancy and had to pass an emergency cesarean section to remove the baby. In a publication on Tati Machado’s social networks, the text reports that she was 33 weeks and had to enter the maternity ward after realizing the absence of the movements.
For those who are out, it can be difficult to know what to say – and even more so, what not to say – in the face of suffering that seems devastating. Well-meaning phrases may sound insensitive, and silence can increase the isolation of those facing this type of loss.
“Sometimes, with a few words, we can unintentionally minimize this unique mourning and at such a susceptible phase to women. Care for what we say is a way of respecting this bond and the suffering he leaves when he is interrupted,” he says Cinthia Alves Prais psychologist and postgraduate in neuroscience and behavior, CNN .
Second Raquel Baldo mourning psychologist, society is still You don’t know and talk about perinatal mourning name given precisely to complex mourning after the loss of a baby during pregnancy. “Knowledge about the subject is lacking, so that this can be cared for properly by everyone, family, friends and even doctors,” she adds.
Baldo explains that ignorance arrives watered with lines that “ignore the reality of pain.” “Something that hurts the most is the non -recognition of death, the size of this pain. This pain is usually lived in loneliness by the mother, only she really understands the lack she is doing inside her,” explains the expert.
“Sometimes people give the message that this pain needs to be overcome fast, as if there was no room to live in depth. Sometimes sensitive silence or genuine listening can be much more welcoming,” adds Cinthia. “There are speeches that can still bring women to future expectation. As if a new baby would replace the one who has been lost, which is not possible. Each bond is unique, and mourning needs space to be lived.”
What not to say to someone who lost the baby
Some phrases were listed by psychologists to exemplify phrases that do not help – and even get worse – in this process of mourning.
- “It was better like that”
- Don’t worry, more babies will come ”
- “If it wasn’t ahead, it was not meant to be”
- “Do you already have other children? So it’s okay”
- “It became an angel, a star in the sky”
- “God would give this cross to carry if you couldn’t stand it”
- “You are still young”
- “I’m glad it was before you were born”
- “You can try again”
“When the pain is minimized or invalidated, this can generate even more suffering. The woman may be silent, is ashamed to be sad or even isolating. In some cases, this type of approach can intensify paintings of anxiety, depression or even deregulation of the body, as we see in the somatic approach, for example. Mourning needs host, not hurry to pass,” says Cinthia.
How to act with someone who lost the baby
Sometimes, not saying anything, just being present in the person’s life, can be more than necessary, advise professionals.
“Maybe you can mention how the pain the person really is really living must be a lot and that you feel a lot for it,” says Rachel. “But that you are there,” look you can count on me to cry, stay together, do whatever it takes, “he adds.
“To recognize this mourning is to recognize the mother’s relationship with her baby, recognize that woman in her motherhood, how lent herself to be with him until that moment, and from now on she needs to rebuild herself.”
Sometimes, just say, “I’m here with you”, “I’m sorry for your loss,” or “I don’t know what to say, but I want to accompany you,” says Cinthia. “When we speak from the heart, with respect and without trying to solve the pain of the other, it is already a huge gesture of care,” points out the doctor.
“Small gestures make all the difference. Being around without charging that the person talks. Validating what he feels: ‘What you are living is very difficult, I imagine.’ Allow her to talk about the baby, if she wants to cook something, help with everyday tasks, send a message with love. And especially listen with presence and without judgment.
Maternity and hormonal changes in pregnancy
This content was originally published in mourning: what not to say and how to act with someone who lost the baby on CNN Brazil.
Source: CNN Brasil

I am an experienced journalist and writer with a career in the news industry. My focus is on covering Top News stories for World Stock Market, where I provide comprehensive analysis and commentary on markets around the world. I have expertise in writing both long-form articles and shorter pieces that deliver timely, relevant updates to readers.