This article is published in number 9 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until March 2, 2021
Often there are no words, because the vocabulary does not have a name for everything, but for the smell of the rain, yes, Petrichor, and it is with him that Mattia Balardi (Mr Rain not by chance) writes: music, lyrics. It is in him that he overcomes sadness when it rises. “To tell us what we want to tell each other, we dial telephone numbers, paint walls, send chats, send letters. Not me. I use the songs, only the songs ». He destined for his mother Grownups never cry (“I did a lot of bullshit, luckily you were there”), to the father with whom he had a complicated relationship, who separated them, In the shape of origami (“All this time to understand that if I look inside, I see a bit of myself”). To all of us closed in our homes in this time of pandemic that shows no sign of ending, Chernobyl flowers (“Because it is from nightmares that the best dreams are born”).
And it (was) immediately double platinum.
«Also in me. Also for saving me from an inner catastrophe, a depression I fell into after being betrayed by collaborators I considered friends, before I discovered its true nature. I tend to trust, and blindly, but if you betray me the world collapses on me ».
But then it never really happens.
«In fact: the mood has the shades of pain (“ Even if they broke our wings ”), but it is already full of its beyond (“ We will walk above these clouds ”). It means: even when it seems to be there, it is not true: there is no end of the world. Does it crush you? Come on, you’re already up, rebuilding yourself. That a man is strong when he learns to be fragile. I was on the ground, and on the day it came into my hands she was like a psychiatrist on paper, she emptied me of all the negative thoughts I had ».
Does this, inspiration?
“Finding a way to get better, I think so. I write only for that, I shoot videos only for that, I live for the day and give weight to the little things only for that since I was a child, in Desenzano del Garda, I followed Eminem and I wanted to become like him ».
In fact, she produces everything, from the instruments to the direction. Is working alone to be alone?
“A little, certainly. But a lot is nature, too. If I entrusted myself to someone else, even if only for a violin passage, it would no longer be me ».
In the album there is It’s not for me, a complaint that seems to say: “I like music but not its world”.
«In digital, thanks to Spotify, Apple Music, etc., there is democracy and honor of merit: do people like you? You are high in the rankings. No? Nobody sees you. But to govern certain stages or passages on the radio is still a traditional establishment that does not take into account what people want, but other dynamics: if you appear in the newspapers, if you make noise, more than art. It’s not my way. ”
Does freedom have a price?
“But in the long run, the compromise you have to go down to if you want to go up is more expensive. I am very sure of what I believe in, and no one can tell me what should be done, what is the case with me, why people talk about me. I dream one day of publishing from a remote village in Iceland, far from everything and everyone ».
He is angry with the Sanremo Festival which he aspires to.
«Because the temple remains, but every time I tried to reach it, they didn’t let me in, even with songs that later became stellar hits on the net. You fail and refuse, without even knowing why ».
Trails on the cheeks they are the ones who create the tears when they come down. What does he cry for, as a man?
«In taking off my mask. When between the lines you can no longer hide, invent or pretend. Inside these verses, there is my feeling in every place out of place, my being always either in the past or in the future, and never here and now. In the question: “What happens to people like me? Maybe they’re not going anywhere ”. In prayer: “You take me away where it is normal to feel different” ».
Do Mr Rain and Mattia get along?
“Sometimes they call each other. One is more patient, for the “live and let live”, the other more intransigent, devoted to justice, one is more sensitive and the other not at all. We are not bored ».
Love in progress.
«Present, and this time without Stockholm syndrome, this frequent falling in love with your kidnapper that you end up loving so much that you can’t let him go, even if you no longer get along and it is evident to both of you that you are in a sick relationship. We got lost in 100 square meters. We shook hands until even our fingerprints were erased. We are two strangers who know each other better than anyone else. How hard it is to hate you like I love you now».
Is it less so, starting over on your own?
“As an introvert, I don’t know how to talk about feelings, and it’s rare that I even know how to confide. For this, as I sing, I am always the first enemy of myself ».
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