My first time queer

What do you remember of your first time? Is there something you would have liked to know before to experience it with more serenity? Losing your virginity is a kaleidoscope of emotions ranging from embarrassment to tenderness, or a union of both. Contrary to what we are told, there is not only one way to have sex: for years, school and society have educated us to a view of sex made with the mold, sweetened, and irremediably heteronormed.

Sex education in Italy besides a guide (not too effective) on how to put condoms on bananas and some hints of unwanted pregnancies, it doesn’t offer much else. If it is really talked about, in the media as in everyday life, the only option promoted is the one involving a penis with a vagina.

In truth, like every individual it is layered and nuanced into a thousand different identities and realities, too sex includes a thousand possibilities: penetration does not only take place between penises and vaginas, but above all sex is NOT just penetration. From fingers to oral contact, without excluding the use of sex toys and the power of masturbation (yes, all that series of activities that we like to call “foreplay” are sex anyway).

Today, more than ever, a clear and prepared conversation is needed, present to the reality we live and the urgencies of the new generations: sex involves a thousand different, non-conforming, identical bodies which at the same time vary from subject to subject. We need an education to discover pleasure, to touch ourselves without shame, to open a conversation about sexuality without taboo or superficiality. Even more important is an education in consensus, made up of mutual listening and open dialogue.

In this video Mariagrazia, Riccardo, Sofia, and La Gacta tell us about their first time and how to learn to speak better about sex.

Good vision!