No fight! Find out how to deal with jealousy during Carnival

O Carnival It's a time of lots of parties and fun and, therefore, represents an opportunity for more intense social interaction, which may be accompanied by lots of flirting and kisses on the mouth .

However, for some, jealousy can be a major protagonist of the season , transforming the festivities into a moment of anxiety and a scenario for fights, arguments and even breakups. And this is not exclusive to those in monogamous relationships (when the center of the relationship is the couple).

The holiday full of flirting can lead to feelings of jealousy and many disagreements in some relationships. When you live in a relationship that is closed to interactions with other people, such as kisses on the mouth and other things, opening the relationship – that is, signing agreements to 'release' loving and/or sexual interactions with other people – could then be a option?

According to experts in the field of psychology, to be able to deal with jealousy, and not turn it into a real Carnival block of its own, it is necessary to understand that, being an emotional issue, jealousy has to do with internal issues within the individual, such as insecurities. , feeling of ownership and so on.

Understanding jealousy

According to psychoanalyst Marcio Renzo, jealousy is a complex emotion and can be defined as a feeling of insecurity, anxiety or fear of losing something valuable. It is generally associated with interpersonal relationships, such as love, friendships or even professional relationships.

Within psychoanalysis, the specialist states that there are three ways for an individual to demonstrate this emotion.

“The jealousy Natural This is when a person sees their partner being admired by another person in some social situation. In this form of jealousy it is considered normal, as it is caused by a visible and real situation. However, it disappears quickly in some cases”, explains the professional.

Pathological jealousy, according to the psychoanalyst, ends up being an obsession. “The person who suffers from this version of jealousy seeks exaggerated things from each other. He watches his partner in all his movements, being able to follow him in certain places, with the aim of finding something that supports his jealousy”, he explains.

There is also, according to Renzo, the most serious form of the feeling, which would be neurotic jealousy. In this form of reaction to sensations, jealousy occurs without a real cause. “The person’s suspicions and fears suffocate the partner. The relationship becomes extremely toxic, as accusations and provocations are made about the partner being unfaithful,” he says.

Attention to jealousy must begin from the first signs of pathological jealousy.

How to deal with your partner’s jealousy during Carnival?

Open dialogue, mutual trust and respect are fundamental to dealing with issues of jealousy, especially during periods like Carnival, highlights sexologist Tamara Zanotelli.

“For the relationship to work, even in atypical moments, such as Carnival, it is essential that everyone involved feels heard and understood, so that they can express their concerns and find healthy ways of dealing with the situation”, advises Zanotelli.

Psychologist Anne Crunfli states that, during Carnival, it is important to maintain open lines of communication with your partner. If something is bothering you, you need to talk about it calmly and respectfully.

“Before the festivities begin, talk about what you're both comfortable with regarding social interactions and flirting. Establishing clear expectations can help reduce anxiety”, says the psychologist.

Finally, it is important to highlight that if a person is aware of having pathological jealousy, they will need to seek professional help to get out of this stage and prevent it from compromising their relationship and mental health.

“Such feelings are closely associated with dysregulation and emotional immaturity. Jealousy can be a natural feeling, that is, it is as if our internal compass warns us 'look, pay attention, you are jealous', so this person is important to you, they are not just one of the crowd'. The problem consists of pathological jealousy, when it stops serving as an indicator of the importance of something/person and starts to refer more to control, possession, power, dominance, immaturity and lack of self-knowledge, which leads to dependence. other’s emotional state”, explains Anne.

“Usually pathological jealousy is associated with the fear of abandonment. The person has little autonomy, that is, there is a need for constant validation of affection, therefore, a lot of emotional dependence associated in which there is a constant doubt about the stability and constancy of the other's feelings, obviously associated with low self-esteem”, states the psychologist.

Is opening the relationship the solution?

As explained by the psychologist, jealousy is “inherent” in the human being and has nothing to do with the type of relationship, open or closed, monogamous or polygamous, but rather with self-love, self-esteem, the level of maturity and emotional regulation.

However, opening up the relationship can be a way to deal with the flirting and kisses on the lips during Carnival in an agreed way, if there is a willingness.

Anne Crunfli explains that, first of all, it is necessary to understand how jealousy operates at this time of year and that love and sexual desire are very different things.

“Business becomes a problem when a person confuses love with sexual desire. Carnival is an invitation for you to expose yourself, play, go the extra mile. Culturally, it is associated with the moment when everything is permitted: drinking, having sex, partying in all ways and forms. Therefore, if the relationship is based on sexual desire, it will rarely resist Carnival. But if there is love, there is respect, there is complicity and there is enjoyment together. To enjoy together, there is care for each other and for the relationship”, explains Anne.

For those who wish to open their relationship, it is necessary to embrace the existence of the difference between love and sexual desire, in addition to knowing that communication is the main ally.

“It is important that complicity is present, so the agreement between the parties must be very clear. I have already helped a couple who ended their relationship, one went to Salvador and the other to Rio and after Carnival they returned. It worked out? Yes, why? Because they both agreed, they were both young, they had been dating for a long time and they thought they should at least once give themselves the right to enjoy the 'mess'. It was the way they identified to keep the relationship healthy and not feel, when they were older, that they had missed important moments in their lives”, concludes the professional.