The relationship has already been going on for a while, but feelings of dissatisfaction, bad moods, uncertainty about the future have emerged in the relationship… Could this be the prelude to an inevitable crisis? cognitive psychologists Frank Fincham And Steven Beachrelationship psychology experts at the University of Floridathey identified, through their studiesi seven signals behavioural, characteristic of acouple dissatisfaction, which reveal if the relationship is at risk of breaking. Here’s what.\
1. Withholding partner support
Stop offering (or receiving) support and approval to the person next to us is the first signal to take into consideration and on which it is necessary to “work”. Because it is the refusal behavior that, before any other, determines a general feeling of psycho-physical malaise.
2. Negative thoughts in loops
One of the signs of dissatisfaction in the couple is given by the vicious circle of negative thoughts and hostile attitudes towards the other person. Ranging from discussing why the milk has run out to harboring the idea of abandoning your partner on the street at the first opportunity!
3. The «request-rejection» scheme
You voice a doubt about her parents’ last visit. And, promptly, he ignores you, lounging on the sofa to watch TV. Another dangerous sign of discontent within a relationship is the “request-rejection” system, which denotes a strong lack of communication. Generally, it is the woman who makes requests or launches topics for discussion, while the man, between the two, is the one who tends to refuse the confrontation, isolating himself.
4. (Un)real beliefs
He is not decided. He is too lazy. He has few moral principles… Repeatedly taking inventory of your partner’s shortcomings is certainly not the best way to maintain harmony. It may seem strange, yet those “cognitive distortions”, those “unreal beliefs” which, especially in the first approaches, make the loved one an almost perfect being, are good for the relationship and are decisive for the satisfaction of the couple. As long as one’s interpretation of what others would call “defects” is positive, everything will be fine. Otherwise, it’s better to raise the antennas and try to investigate what’s actually wrong anymore.
5. Justification mode
Was he late for work, are you sure, for reasons beyond his control? Or is it something that happens all the time and you think he could easily make it a habit? The reasons we attribute to ours and to his behavior are crucial for a good understanding. If the balance tends towards criticism instead of justification, it is time to reflect on how satisfied you feel with the relationship.
6. Discrepancy between partner and ideal model
“I like and want a man who looks like my favorite actor.” «I have no intention of accepting alternatives to my ideal model» (although there is already a partner…). If you put it this way, the dissatisfaction crisis is guaranteed!
7. Evolution
The degree of satisfaction is associated with the perception that the relationship has improved over time. If you feel in a sort of “sentimental limbo”, probably there hasn’t been a great evolution and perhaps it has arrived It’s time to “push” the relationship. For better or for worse.
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Source: Vanity Fair
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