Orphans of feminicide: why are they often invisible victims?

«Not long ago I was watching an in-depth program on TV. First report, they talk about a femicide, focusing on the details of the story: who the woman was, who killed her, with what weapon, with how much brutality. All right, for goodness sake. But there was no mention of the fact that this woman was a mother and that her two children are now orphans of feminicide. Next report: what will happen to the cubs of the killed bear. Now, I’m an animal rights activist, I have three cats, I’m also sorry about the teddy bears, but I find it absurd that we have this sensitivity towards animals and not towards human beings”, says Roberta Beolchi, founder and president of Edela, an association supporting of the orphans of feminicide: around 3 thousand people throughout Italy screwed twice, by those who took away their mother and by an absent State.

Beolchi continues: «In 2018, a law was passed to support the children of victims which provides, among other things, an allowance of 300 euros per month. It’s a shame that, to be eligible, you have to present endless documentation, including court papers, to obtain which you end up spending 1500 euros. Not everyone can afford it. To understand how little this monthly support is useful, I refer to the words of a grandfather who, after the killing of his daughter, became the legal guardian of his grandson. This man, certainly not wealthy, told me: “Before the tragedy, I could give Diego at most a pair of socks. After the tragedy too'”.

Moral: where the institutions don’t reach, try to get there, Roberta, who does everything to prevent orphans from becoming invisible. She leaves her cell phone on 24 hours a day: «I answer even at 3 in the morning and direct those who call me to the right person to listen to them: psychologists, lawyers, social workers».

When he learns of a new case of femicide, he immediately contacts the municipality of origin and makes himself available to the family: «Their lives are turned upside down and they often don’t know who to turn to for the most disparate issues: from the initiation of criminal proceedings to the management of the children’s school, from paying bills to a possible transfer. We at Edela help them in everything. AND we also offer more substantial psychological support than the two hours per week required by law».

Finally Beolchi follows the orphans for years, in an attempt to offer them «a reference in the midst of the emotional desert in which they find themselves. These boys have suffered three traumas: long periods of war, abandonment by their parents, one killed and the other often in prison, uprooting from their previous life. Many experience serious discomfort, including attention disorders, continuous flashbacks, panic attacks, a sense of guilt combined with deep shame if the murderer is the father. If they do not have uncles or grandparents willing and able to take care of them, for them an accumulation of waste begins and an alternation between foster families and communities. Result: many drop out of school and end up on the streets, trying to make easy money. In reverse, if they are followed, they are saved: Edela helps them complete their studies, perhaps even at private schools where they can attend two years in one, and enter the world of work».

To all this, Edela adds widespread awareness-raising work with interventions in schools, participation in conferences and also in special evenings such as those organized by Barbara Russo, Past President of the Monza and Brianza section of Fidepa Bpw, Italian Federation of Women Arts Professions Business. Last year, on the occasion of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, Fidepa staged Music breaks the silence, an event in which artists and social workers took turns on the stage of the Manzoni theater in Monza to shed light on the invisible victims of feminicides, the orphans. He also intervened in that context Marco Sancandi who recounted the moment in which his life changed forever, when his father killed his mother and then committed suicide. This year, however, the focus will be on Women, violence and organized crime. The evening, which will also be held at the Manzoni Theater in Monza, on 17 November 2023, will be free of charge to raise funds for a project of the Beccaria Penal Institute for Juveniles. Because, as Roberta Beolchi and Barbara Russo recall in chorus, «violence against women is also always violence against minors».