In a world in which to deal with it is inevitable, feeling “late” – in work, in relationships, in personal goals – has almost become the norm. This is where the Japanese concept of Oubators; A term that invites you to stop, look inside and stop measuring your life with the meter of others.
This ancient term originates from four trees that bloom at different times of spring and contains a simple but very powerful message: Everyone has their own time to flourish.
Oubators is not only a poetic philosophy, but a concrete invitation to stop chasing imposed models and to recognize that the real extent of our path can only be personal. Because if it is true that the flowers bloom in different seasons, then we too can learn to respect, and celebrate our time.
What “Oubators” really wants to say
The term uburi (pronounced “oh-buy-tah-ree”) contains an image as delicate as it is powerful: it derives from the Japanese characters that represent four trees that bloom in the spring: cherry, plum, apricot and peach. Each of these trees has different characteristics: shape, color, perfume and, above all, its own moment to flourish. Nobody is competing with the other, nobody arrives “before” or “after”: simply, each one follows his own natural time. And it is precisely here that the meaning of uberors is concentrated: There are no goals valid for everyone in the same way, but individual paths to be respected and enhanced.
In Japanese culture, this expression is often used to remember that each person is different and that constant comparison, especially if based on external models, apparent successes or standards imposed, only generates frustration and loss.
Oubators opposes the western logic of performance, efficiency, linear growth. Instead, it proposes a softer and more organic vision of life: everyone has their times, its seasons, its blooms. And all are valid.
In the contemporary world, where we are constantly exposed to a successful narrative that rewards speed, productivity and visibility, Oubators resonate as a kind act of resistance. This philosophy of thought, instead of looking out to measure us, invites us to look inside to understand us. And reminds us that There is nothing wrong with being in a phase different from that of others; Just as apricot is not in a hurry to reach the peach, nor the cherry is judged less beautiful because it blooms last. Everyone, in the end, find their time to blossom.
Comparison as a trap
It is not just a personal feeling: The social confrontation has become a collective psychological trap.
According to one research from the Florida House Experiencea center for the treatment of digital dependencies and mental health, 27% of women confront each other daily with othersWhile 88% of girls say they regularly compare themselves to the images seen on social media. In addition, various research shows as Instagram, Tiktok and the like, with idealized images, triggering a sense of inadequacy in 30–40 % of teenagersoften bringing to low self -esteem and dissatisfaction with the physical appearance
These dynamics do not only concern the physicist: the comparison also poisons life choices, career expectations and even the time we dedicate to relationships.
All this has deep roots: from school rankings to job interviews, from family expectations to gender. We grow up with the idea that there is a “roadmap” to be respected, and that each deviation is a failure. But if we stopped living as in a race, and we began to rewrite our rules of the game instead?
In the chaos of the comparison, the compass that orient us
In an era of constant confrontation, widespread insecurity and emotional burnout, Ouberi therefore becomes more than a concept: it is an invitation to kindness towards oneself.
Accept that one’s path is different, in times, in desires, in successes, means free yourself from an invisible but constant pressure. It also means learning to choose: what is really important for you? What are your values, your authentic dreams, and not those that have been imposed on you?
Oubators encourages us to cultivate a healthier inner dialoguebased on gratitude for what we are and on a more compassionate language. Because the way we talk to ourselves shapes the way we live.
How to bring Oubators to everyday life: practices and suggestions
Transforming ubators into concrete action may seem complicated, but small gestures are enough. Starting a diary of gratitude, for example, helps to divert attention from what “is missing” to focus on what we already have. Even filtering social content, silenced the accounts that make us feel inadequate, is a way to protect us.
And then there is the power of words: stop shuting off, talking about oneself with respect, celebrating one’s conquests, small or large.
Living according to Ouberi also means recognizing that loneliness is not insulation, but a fertile space where to bloom. Like the flowers that do not hurry, but follow their season, we can learn to trust our rhythm. And find out that the right moment is never that of the others: it is simply ours.
Instagram Use and Body Discation: The Mediating Role of Upward Social Comparison with Peers and Influencers Among Young FemalesInternational Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health
Social Media Influencers’ Impact on Young Women’s Acceptance of Beauty StandardsInternational Journal of Research and Analytical Reviews
Source: Vanity Fair
I’m Susan Karen, a professional writer and editor at World Stock Market. I specialize in Entertainment news, writing stories that keep readers informed on all the latest developments in the industry. With over five years of experience in creating engaging content and copywriting for various media outlets, I have grown to become an invaluable asset to any team.
