Painful childhood: 5 personality traits that indicate it

It is known as le childhood experiences have a decisive influence on adult life. And that goes for those who have been able to count on a serene family contextbut even more for those who instead he had to deal with difficult situations very early on.

So what effect can they have on the personality painful experiences lived as children? To address the issue, in an article that appeared on PsychologyTodayis Seth J. Gillihan, a psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Numerous studies – underlines the author – have shown how the adult personality come significantly influenced by painful childhood experiences. Experiences that may include different situations, such as episodes of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, neglect, domestic violence, parental divorce but also substance abuse or severe mental illness of a parent. So what are the signs that these traumatic situations, albeit different, can leave on the adult? Some studies have highlighted how it is possible to identify 5 personality traits that seem to be linked to a difficult childhood. Here’s what they are.

1. Neuroticism

By “neuroticism” is meant in psychology a personality trait characterized by the tendency to react to events with much more negative emotions compared to the average. Living a difficult childhood exposes the risk of experiencing a high degree of negative emotionsbut without having the opportunity to learn how to manage them. For this as an adult one can be inclined to depression, anger but also to anxiety and al panic.

2. Anger and aggression

Adversity experienced as a child can also predispose to greater aggression and impulsiveness as adults. These behaviors are typically done or because learned in childhood or why developed as children as a sort of defense against abuse or from the feeling of loss.

3. Low «pleasantness»

With the term “pleasantness” or “friendliness”means in psychology a personality trait that manifests itself in individual behavioral characteristics that range from kindness to empathy to being considerate of others. Those who were abused or neglected as children often have more likely to have difficulty getting along with others. Not only that, a low degree of friendliness can translate into more difficulty collaborating with others, preferring to «go it alone». It is a trend related, once again, to having lived many negative emotionsincluding anger.

4. External success orientation

However, negative life experiences lived in childhood can also lead to a sort of unhealthy desire for success, probably to compensate for the often felt sense of inadequacy. Thus it can happen that a person who has lived through a painful childhood, then tends as an adult to desire fame and financial successin an attempt to relieve pain and deprivation experienced in the past.

5. Low involvement

Despite the external success orientation, someone who suffered as a child can have it as an adult too difficulty finding a true commitment in life. A clear sense of purpose may be lacking and one may be present difficulty finding constructive activities to engage in or who are passionate, as well as a difficulty feeling good about yourself and with the results obtained.

The described personality traits, the author of the article that appeared on PsychologyTodayprobably have a common origin: it is about strategies implemented in an attempt to protect themselves from further paincreating a sort of shell with which to defend oneself from the outside world.

Although the personality is relatively stable, concludes the specialist, one must not exclude the a priori chance to change things. Research shows that change is always possible, even in a relatively short time, where there is adequate support given, for example, by a psychotherapy.

A painful childhood may have shaped who we are, but it doesn’t have the final say on who we become.