They made us believe it for years, actually for centuries, especially us women: try ache during sexual intercourse it is «normal», then the resulting dissatisfaction is a reality to be accepted and that’s it. As for the mena taboo concerns member efficiency: for example, if you have difficulty with an erection, better not talk about it.
Consequences? We slowly got used to and got used to live with pain and frustrationor we have adjusted our sexual activities to the imposed standards, scaled back our desires, grit our teeth and put pleasure aside.
«But if our arm hurts for three days, don’t we go to the doctor to find out the cause? If we suddenly start limping, don’t we try to fix the problem? The same thing can (and must) be done when intimate problems arise!», he begins on the phone Violet Benini, of midwifery profession, considered a point of reference in the field of pelvic rehabilitation, also thanks to her prolific activity of Divulger on Instagram, where he has almost 210,000 followers and where he breaks down taboos with posts, stories, reels and polls.
After the success of his first book Without taboospublished by Fabbri Editori, is back in the bookstore with I want to come, again for Fabbri Editori, in which he proposes to give tips – even practical ones – to readers on being aware of how one’s body works, to learn how to release pelvic tension and start feeling more pleasure and (why not?) new orgasms too.
“Throughout the centuries, we have lost just socially the ability to listen to our body – comments Benini – We always go in a hurry, to work, even to the gym, “do your abs in five minutes”, always everything in your spare time… And where are we? If we learned to listen to each other again, we’d feel that the solution to get better is already within us. Finally, the famous perineumalso called pelvic flooryou “find” it, being aware of your body, breathing in a present way».
In the book, Benini talks about how he has “awakened” her vaginagetting a penetration orgasm and of the whole path of awareness in the rehabilitate the perineum: «It was Oswaldone of my first vibrators to give me an intense climax through penetration – Benini continues in the story – Years later, working on my perineum, I told myself that the one with Oswald it was just the “awakening of my vagina”, which could only continue from there.
The fact of having few orgasms I justified it with i mental blocksalthough through my clinical practice I had come to understand that pleasure and orgasms went hand in hand with a good pelvic floor health. Until one day, while a lover was dedicating himself to me, at the peak moment, the one in which my pleasure usually stops, I decided to follow the same advice I gave to my patients: put me in perineal reliefleaning on the pillow under my pelvis and letting my partner stimulate me in that position.
Not even two minutes and came a powerful orgasm. Nothing had changed except the position of my pelviswho had helped to reduce muscle tension. This doesn’t mean that psychological blocks don’t exist, just that pelvic floor muscle dysfunctions can have a lot of impact “.
He then spoke of discharge of the perineum: what’s it about? «The position to completely relax the body, therefore also the vaginal muscles, is that squat. But not everyone can do it correctly: for example, if you stand on your toes and can’t put your heel on the ground, you’re already tense. So here it is supine position with pillow or balloon exercise: it is effective both in relieving tension and in facilitating internal stimulation and orgasms during intercourse».
But before I illustrate the balloon exercise, going back to the beginning, if a person wants to understand where is this perineum, there are gods practical exercises to identify it? «The first fundamental thing is be aware that it exists, knowing where it is helps this awareness, consequently also to work on it, to obtain more intense orgasms. Trivially, the perineum is that area that holds back when pee escapes. In men, it’s those muscles that activate when they raise and lower the already erect penis.
In practice, if you want to “feel and locate it”, do so: grab a bottle filled with water, extend your arm to the side, then raise it and then lower it and finally return to the initial position with your arm at shoulder height. Maintain this position, with your arm stretched out, and listen to your body: surely, the muscles of the part of the trunk opposite the moving arm have activated and stiffened. And at the level of the genitals? The half of the perineum opposite the moving arm should also have stiffened, activating the pelvic floor. If you don’t feel anything, don’t panic: with the balloon exercise, it can be reactivated».
If you want to learn to release tension from the perineumproceed as follows:
- Lie down on the groundon a mat, belly upwith your legs bent and the soles of your feet well supported, and breathe on your stomach (if you can’t feel the movement of the muscles, remember to keep your hands on your stomach).
- Inhale until the belly is full and then empty it. While you are freediving, suck in the navel.
- Maintaining the apnea and suction, lift your butt and place a normal firm pillow folded in half under it.
- Resume breathing normally.
- Repeat step 2: inhale, exhale and suck in apnea.
- Bring your knees to your chesttrying to relax them completely. If it helps you to reduce tension and breathe better with your stomach, slightly space your knees.
- By maintaining this position, breathe in as you inflate the balloon and listen to your body: what happens when the balloon inflates? Does it touch the organs, muscles, perineum? And what happens when the balloon deflates? To hear you better, use your hands to feel how your muscles move, both when you breathe on your belly and when you suck in.
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Source: Vanity Fair
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