Pino Corrias: Minister Lollobrigida’s train

This article by Pino Corrias is published in issue 49 of Vanity Fair on newsstands until 5 December 2023. To celebrate our #20changes with us, read here

OREvery powerful man needs servants to fan him when it’s too hot and pick up his lies if they fall from the table.. The story of the Frecciarossa 9519 train that stops where it shouldn’t, in Ciampino, to let His Excellency Minister Lollobrigida Francesco get off with the spare car waiting on the square to run to Caivano, is known as are the best parables about power . Thanks also to the corollary of badly invented justifications to patch the hole and remove the red stain of shame.
Piece number one from the minister: «I got off to get to Caivano more quickly, where I represented the state». Piece number two: «Resign? I don’t even think about it: I went to work.” Piece number three: «The little girl Chiara was waiting for me in Caivano’s flowerbed and she gave me a heart, the best gift of the year». And then number four, the best of all: «I was late. I asked to get out like any other citizen would have done.” Good to know for the 4.5 million commuters, regularly late, who will also descend into the open countryside when necessary to continue on foot. And woe to us, regular passengers of the non-stop Rome-Milan, which will become an accelerated multi-stop.
It is probable that many people thought up such nonsense, the same people who made the railway crime possible. Starting with the staff who we imagine got on the phone to call “the relevant person”.
The news says that they were the first to call a certain Valeria Venuto, not known to the general public, but very well known among the political elite having been the assistant of Ignazio La Russa – the father of Geronimo, Apache and Cochis -, the current Toro Sitting on the highest seat of the Senate. By a very lucky chance you were recently appointed manager of the State Railways, responsible for institutional affairs at the Passenger Hub. She would be the first to take action to stop the Frecciarossa. Helpful, but not enough. A second phone call would have taken place. This time directly to Luigi Corradi, the CEO of Trenitalia. He is also a political appointee, renewed six months ago by the Meloni government. And since it is better not to disappoint subordinates in the distribution of orders, the cell phone of Luigi Ferraris rings, the number one of the parent company RFI, informed out of respect for the hierarchies. Which they move like platoon recruits do, belly in and chest out. None of them had the courage to say “No, look, that’s not the case.”
Actually, no, not all of them. Despite the minister’s whims, that day only the train conductor was on Frecciarossa 9519, 111 minutes late. The only one capable of showing a straight back. Maybe even the only one who doesn’t need to read Instructions to the servantsthe small masterpiece of the immense Jonathan Swift, an iconic manual for disobeying your master, laughing behind his back and not being ashamed of your own.

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